Wolf's Law
by TheLostRelic
Summary: Annabeth is the rich, smart, popular girl with the perfect life, but she secretly struggles to meet her mom's expectations and once she's diagnosed with terminal cancer, her perfect life crashes down upon her. Percy is the school loser and a social outcast. Suddenly, they develop a bond as they help each other, but can it survive social disparity, illness, and romantic attachment?
1. Disdain

**Disdain**

The all too familiar agitating tones of the alarm clock woke Annabeth Chase up. Annabeth groaned and rubbed the sleep away from her eyes while reaching for her alarm clock at the same time.

_5:20_

Why did she even reach for the alarm clock? After all, it woke her up on the same time every single day, so the gesture was ultimately meaningless. Annabeth shook her head, trying to avoid over thinking her actions as soon as she woke up. There would be plenty of time for that later.

Annabeth rolled out of her comfortable bed and stripped her pajama's for an old soccer jersey and some black yoga pants. She retrieved her iPod and her arm band before going downstairs to slip on her running shoes. After lacing them up, she silently opened the front door and stepped outside to avoid making any loud noises that might disrupt her family's sleep.

The dark street was illuminated dimly by the lampposts and Annabeth took a deep breath, relishing the smell of the early morning air. There was nothing quite like it. It was so clear, clean, and pure that she felt rejuvenated everytime she inhaled. Once she made it to the end of her street, she found the familiar trail that was her running path and she took off, slowly at first but increasing her speed steadily. It occurred to her a couple seconds in that she had forgotten to stretch beforehand, but she didn't feel like stopping at the moment so she continued.

Running enhances brain function and science had shown positive correlations between early morning air and thought clarity. This only gave Annabeth more of an incentive to run, but in truth she just enjoyed the activity. Running was a test of one's own will - how far are you willing to go? What are your limits? Those questions where the ones that Annabeth longed to answer, but she felt like she had an answer: She had no limits. With enough hard work, Annabeth felt like anything was possible.

Using her right hand, she hastily selected a song to listen to. She had selected "Satellite" by Guster, one of her most favorite songs. The familiar chords began to ring out and Annabeth felt her mind go blank, something that only happened on her runs.

Her run ended twenty minutes later and she sat down on the grass over looking the forest. Her house was situated on a large hill of sorts and from her current view, at the top, she could see the sunrise creep out over the horizon. Annabeth sighed in contentment as the sun slowly began to emerge, brushing the empty night sky with a flurry of colors. To her, it was the most beautiful sight in the world.

Annabeth stood up a few minutes later and made her way home. Fortunately, the path she took was circular, so she didn't have far to walk.

At promptly 6:30, she sat down at her dinner table after her shower, dressed in new clothes. Her father wordlessly placed a cup of coffee in front of her and Annabeth accepted it gratefully. She sipped the bitter but warm liquid with relish, hitting the pinnacle of clairvoyance. Annabeth felt the need to be completely awake by the time she got to school, so she ran and drank coffee. Her father handed her the lunch that he had prepared for her - Salad, Banana Chips, Orange Slices, and Lemonade.

Once she finished her coffee, she began to review her assignments from the night before, making sure that her work was correct and satisfactory. Her mother, Athena Chase, came down dressed in a crisp business suit, her curly brown hair let down so that it tumbled over her shoulders. Athena Chase was the definition of cold beauty, and Annabeth liked to think that she was the same way, albeit her hair was a golden blond as opposed to brown.

Annabeth straightened her posture at the sight of her mother, trying to look more presentable. Athena adjusted her sleeves as she stepped into the kitchen. She cast a critical, appraising eye over her daughter as she made herself some green tea.

"Did you fix the second paragraph in your English essay?" Athena asked expectantly.

Annabeth nodded in assent. "I made sure to change it before I went to sleep. I'm reviewing it right now."

"You shouldn't have made so many errors with your grammar. I expect better from you. You can't afford to slip up in your junior year. We have a lot riding on you, so don't you dare throw everything away." Athena snapped, her gray eyes appraising Annabeth with disdain.

Annabeth felt anger and disappointment blossoming through her stomach, but she held her tongue. She so desperately wished that her mother had told her to simply try harder in the future, but such things were wishful thinking. She fantasized about telling her mother that she was not and never would be perfect, and that her mother would accept her for who she was. Instead, Annabeth merely nodded curtly at her mother before politely saying, "Of course mother, I won't fail you."

"I hope not. We expect you to follow in Malcolm's footsteps." Athena murmured into her cup.

Frederick Chase, Annabeth's dad, gave her a sympathetic glance as Annabeth met his eyes. Annabeth turned her head and tried to repress the feelings of neglect and self-loathing she felt about herself.

Malcolm was Annabeth's perfect brother - the brother that was the standard of all comparisons, the one who every teacher ever doted upon, the one who had personally been flown out to Yale to be told that he had earned a full ride there. No matter what Annabeth did, she could never escape her brother's shadow and everything that she did do was always inferior to Malcolm's actions.

Annabeth didn't hate Malcolm, quite the opposite really. Malcolm was the most perfect older brother a girl could ask for - he listened to her problems, he spent time with her, he made her laugh, and he was overprotective of her to a rational extent. Annabeth loved Malcolm. She just wished that she wasn't always second best to him.

"That's enough dear. Annabeth's going to do just great." Frederick said soothingly to his wife.

"'Great' is not acceptable in this household. 'Great' reeks of mediocrity. No, in this household, we are exceptional, not 'Great'." Athena snapped at her husband, who calmly stared at her. Athena stormed away, grabbing her bag and leaving the house, shutting the door behind her.

Frederick winced before sitting next to Annabeth and rubbing his temples.

"Why does she hate me?" Annabeth murmured to her father.

"What? Honey, no, she doesn't hate you. She just has really high hopes for you, we all do." Her dad said, wrapping his arm around Annabeth's shoulder in a comforting gesture.

"I just want her to be proud of me." Annabeth whispered, returning her father's embrace.

Her father rubbed her arm placatingly. "She _is_ proud of you. You should hear her when you're not around. She's got nothing but praise for you. She just acts like this around you to push you to achieve." He said.

Annabeth snorted. "That's not necessary - I _want_ to achieve, I _want_ to make you all proud. She doesn't need to be like that." Annabeth said.

"Then there's not much of a problem. I'll try to talk to her, but you know how she is." Frederick explained to which Annabeth returned a weak smile.

"I got to go. Thanks for the talk and for lunch dad. Love you." Annabeth said before kissing her dad's cheek.

"Go get 'em, Annie." He said with a smile as she walked away.

Annabeth slung her backpack on her shoulder. All her homework, folders, and textbooks were meticulously arranged inside from the night before. She opened the door and began to walk to her car, a silver Mercedes Benz, a present for her sixteenth birthday.

As she drove, Annabeth put on her mask - the one that she wore at school. She was no longer the insecure, shunned Annabeth Chase from at home. Now she was Annabeth Chase: the hottest, smartest, and most popular girl at Goode High School. She was Annabeth Chase: the girl that every boy wanted to be with and the one that every girl wanted to be.

After she parked, Annabeth stepped out of her car and flipped her golden hair, making it wave with the wind. It rearranged itself in glossy ringlets that tumbled uniformly down her shoulders. She walked into the school and there was no one there, like always. Annabeth liked to be at school a good twenty minutes before anyone else got there. She might go and talk with her teachers about course material or visit the volunteer center for new volunteering opportunities or just read a book.

She was so wrapped in her thoughts that she ran into a boy walking out of a hallway.

"Ow." Annabeth said, falling and holding her head.

"Sorry." She heard a deep voice mumble.

As she opened her eyes, they narrowed at the hand that she was looking at. She looked up to see Percy Jackson, the school's laughing stock, extending his hand to help her up. He was failing almost all of his classes and everybody thought that he was a retard. At least, that's what they called him. Annabeth never interacted with him before, but she went along with her popular friends when they made fun of him.

Percy looked down at Annabeth, and she was surprised to see that he wasn't at all fazed by her appearance. Most boys in their school would either drool over her right now or apologize profusely at the sight of her, but Percy looked almost bored to see her.

"So are you going to take my hand or not?" He asked lazily.

"I'm fine." Annabeth snapped, picking herself up off the floor.

"Suit yourself." The raven haired boy said, shrugging his shoulders before sliding his hands back into his pockets.

Annabeth studied him properly; dissecting and analyzing him with her eyes. Percy was scrawny and about average height. He had messy raven hair and a goofy demeanor about him. He was dressed in a ratty green shirt and brown shorts. He certainly looked the part of a stupid kid that made no effort in school.

Then Annabeth got to his eyes, and she felt all her defenses crumble, almost instantly. They were a gorgeous sea green color that seemed to mirror the ocean, changing from various shades of blue and green. They seemed to pull her in, like powerful waves that were too large to resist. Those sea green eyes were not the eyes of a kid that was stupid - they glowed with a kind of intelligence that Annabeth had never seen in anyone.

"Are you going to keep staring at me, or can I leave now? I already apologized, so unless you want my lunch money or if you want to call me a retard, I think I'll get going." The boy deadpanned before starting away.

Annabeth grabbed his shoulder and pulled him around. "Listen mister, I was not staring at you. I have a boyfriend, you know." She hissed.

The boy coolly appraised her and brushed her hand of his shoulder. "Yeah, everyone in the school knows." He said flatly, an edge of venom in his voice.

"Watch where you're going next time and don't you dare spread rumors about me staring at you." Annabeth hissed.

Percy smirked at her in disdain. "No worries about that. I wouldn't sink to your level even if you begged." He said sardonically before turning around again.

"What do you mean 'my level'?" Annabeth snapped.

Percy turned his head slightly towards her. "Don't ask me questions you already know the answers to. That's a waste of your _precious_ time and mine." He said before beginning to walk away. Annabeth noted how sarcastically he had said "Precious" - almost as if he was mocking her.

"Don't get on my bad side." Annabeth warned, jabbing a finger at his retreating form.

The boy laughed mockingly and turned his head ever so slightly, so that only his luminescent eyes could be seen. "You're funny. I think I like you." He said with a smirk as he continued walking.

_What the hell does that mean?! _Annabeth thought in exasperation as she walked to her locker.

_Who the hell does he think he is, speaking to me like I'm inferior to him? He's the one that nobody likes. I have friends. I am popular. He's nothing compared to me. That arrogant little prick. I'll show him. Nobody messes with me and gets away with it. _She thought in fury as she forcefully slammed her locker shut.

Annabeth's morning was not at all going well. She slumped on the ground in front of her locker and rubbed her temples, bracing herself for the flood. She allowed herself a moment's weakness before pulling the mask back on. Percy's words had disturbed her greatly. He talked to her like she was scum and like her status in the school was a curse rather than a blessing.

_Well what does he know anyways? _Annabeth thought stubbornly.

Still she couldn't shake that feeling of disdain in his voice. It had burrowed itself under her skin and she couldn't get rid of it, like an itch that got worse as you scratched. Sometimes Annabeth wondered if the mask she wore at school had replaced her real face. That's what bothered her about Percy's words. It was as though he was harshly telling her that she had become the facade that she wore.

The first of the students began to pour through the doors of Goode High and Annabeth shook her head to rid herself of her thoughts before standing up and going to meet her friends. She spotted Thalia Grace, Rachel Dare, Katie Gardener, and Silena Beauregard instantly and she approached them with a smile.

"Hey you guys! How was your weekend?" She asked them.

"Ugh, awful. My mom made me attend another one of her silly premiers." Thalia groaned and Annabeth smiled at her in response. Her mother was an actress, but Thalia hated her and the attention that it brought.

"My weekend was fine. My dad took me to an Art Exhibit, which was pretty amazing." Rachel said as she adjusted her strawberry colored sundress.

"Charlie and I went on a lot of dates." Silena squealed and Annabeth rolled her eyes.

"Well you know how my weekend was." Katie said with a smile and Annabeth smiled back at her. Katie was Annabeth's best friend and she had been over for a sleepover that lasted most of the weekend.

"Hey ladies, looking good." A voice said from behind Annabeth, and she felt a pair of hands slip around her waist.

"Hello Luke!" Silena, Rachel, and Katie chirped. Thalia mumbled it and made gagging motions with her hand.

Annabeth glared at Thalia and she simply smirked in return.

"Do you all think I can borrow Annabeth here for a second?" Luke asked them all, and they told him that he could.

Luke smiled at them and led Annabeth away, near his locker. Annabeth pressed her back to his locker as he pressed her arms up against either side of Annabeth's shoulders and grinned down at her. His perfectly tanned skin, pearly white teeth, bright blue eyes, and sandy blond hair made him look amazing.

"Hey beautiful." He said with smile and Annabeth returned one.

"Hey Luke." She said happily.

"Since we didn't have our date this weekend because of your sleepover, I think we should go out this weekend instead." He said with a grin.

"Sure, that'll work." Annabeth said with a smirk.

Luke leaned in and his lips brushed against Annabeth's. He rested his hands on her hips, but they dipped downwards dangerously, occasionally skimming the back pockets of her jeans. Annabeth didn't have the heart to push them away like she used to, she was accustomed to it by now.

"I missed you." He whispered as he kissed his way down her neck.

Annabeth weakly held onto Luke's soft hair, running her fingers through it. "Me too." She murmured lustfully.

Luke grinned against her neck and continued peppering kisses back up her neck. He hit the sweet spot next to Annabeth's ear that never ceased to make her moan. Naturally, his actions elicited a lustful moan on her behalf. She could practically feel Luke's smile grow wider and he attempted to kiss the spot again before he was interrupted.

"Oh that's fucking gross." Annabeth heard a familiar distasteful voice from around her.

Annabeth and Luke turned to see Percy and his friends, Grover Underwood and Nico Di Angelo, standing a short distance away. Nico was laughing riotously at Percy's comment, Grover looked away in embarrassment, and Percy looked at them with complete revulsion and disdain.

Luke tensed up beside her, and Annabeth knew that this wasn't going to end well for the other boys. Annabeth glared at Percy as Luke drew himself up to full height, rage apparent in his eyes.

"You wanna die retard?" Luke snarled at them.

"Ooh, scary." Percy teased and Nico's laughter began anew. Grover shifted uncomfortably beside them.

Luke cracked his knuckles and began to advance upon them. Grover quivered, Nico straightened himself and wore an eager smile, and Percy maintained his icy composure.

Annabeth placed a gentle hand on her boyfriend's arm, stopping him. "Luke, don't. You don't want to get in trouble over losers like them." She said loud enough so Percy and his friends could hear.

Instead of perturbing Percy like she hoped, he merely smirked and turned the statement back at her. "Good call, Chase. Wouldn't want your dumb ass of a boyfriend going on a hormonal kill spree, would we?" He said sardonically.

Annabeth could practically feel Luke tremble in rage and she had half a mind to release him so that he could have his way with them.

Percy didn't leave like any rational person would. Instead he stepped closer and continued with a smirk. "That would ruin 'Little Ms. Perfect's' life and we can't have that, now can we Nico?" He asked with a smirk.

Nico grinned evilly. "Of course not. She's got to keep her little dog on it's leash. Otherwise, it'll bite someone and get put down." He said sadistically.

"Don't test me, Di Angelo." Luke warned them, his voice turning hoarse with rage.

Percy winked at Annabeth and grabbed his friends by the shoulders, steering them away. "Make sure you use protection, Chase. Being preggers isn't good for your Yale application!" He called back malevolently and Annabeth positively squirmed with rage.

Once they left, Luke turned to her. "Why did you stop me? I could have killed that asshole." He shouted.

"He's not worth it. He's worthless and he always will be." She called out, so that Percy could hear. Luke still wasn't convinced, so Annabeth grabbed him by the shirt collar and pulled him down. "Now where were we?" She murmured against his lips, before capturing them against her own.

* * *

**A/N: Hello Everyone! I hope you enjoyed the first chapter of the new story! If you don't understand the title, Wolf's Law refers to the ability of bones to adapt under pressure and become stronger to resist that pressure. It was suggested by a reviewer for another story, and I think that it fits this one better. ****Anyhow, as you might have already noticed, characters are going to be out of character in this story and they aren't demigods. This story will be a lot darker than most and the characters are going to be a little extreme. This chapter is only to introduce some of Annabeth's problems and it will get better later, I promise! As always: Follow, Favorite, and Review.**


	2. Author Note

**Author Note**

**You all are probably not too happy about this, but this Author Note contains some very important information about the story. For all practical purposes, you only need to read the bold stuff. The normal writing is just my reasoning behind said action.**

**1. Characters will have different personality's **- I feel like the classic witless Percy, snarky Annabeth combination is overdone and overrated. In my story they will be altered slightly. Percy will have mordant humor and a cool facade whereas Annabeth is intelligent but wants self gratification. Annabeth is kind of going to be, well for lack of a better word, sexually active, so brace yourself for that.

**2. The characters will be really extreme - **What I mean by this is that Annabeth is going to be a self centered jerk for a good part of the story and like I said before, she'll be kind of under the influence of her hormones. Annabeth's also going to be super OCD about being organized and being on top of her work. Percy will be really sarcastic and he has his own problems going on.

**3. The story is rated M for a reason - **This is not a story for younger kids. There will be swearing, self harm, alcohol use, and minor lemons. With regards to that last bit, nothing will be said outright, only implied. The story's also going to be really intense and emotions will be high strung so don't expect sunshine and rainbows.

**4. I'm making the story really angsty - **Annabeth's got cancer, Percy's really sardonic, Luke is still a huge jerk. The overall tone of the story is meant to bring out the darker side of the teenage high school experience, so prepare yourself for that. There will be tears, fights, and breakdowns - a _lot_ of tears.

**5. This an alternative universe story - **There aren't any demigods, camp doesn't exist, and there won't be any monsters/titans/gods. Enough said.

**6. Being a guy, writing from Annabeth's perspective might be difficult - **I've written in female POV's before so this isn't anything new, but I am lousy at describing dresses or writing girl talk. If I seem too stereotypical or if I offend any female readers, please let me and offer suggestions.

**7. I write very very long stories. **For some of you this is a very good thing. For others of you, that might not be so appealing. I apologize in advance for ranting on. You can see that evident in this ridiculously long Authors note. Sorry!

***DISCLAIMER*: **I do not own any of the characters from Rick Riordan's "Percy Jackson and the Olympians".


	3. Nightmare

**Nightmare**

_The sound of water dripping, dripping - drowning out all other noises. A shirtless Percy Jackson stared into the mirror and gazed into his dead eyes - eyes that had no interest in life, eyes that only wanted release from the pain. The bathroom was dark and dimly lit by a single ancient fluorescent lightbulb hanging by a narrow thread suspended above him. _

Who am I? _Percy asked himself, but his mouth didn't move - only the voice projected from his thoughts._

Why am I here? Am I here to suffer? _Percy's hands tightened on the sink so that his knuckles turned white. _

_Percy looked intently at his reflection, hating what he saw. His pasty white skin was beyond pale, as though it didn't have any knowledge of sunlight. The raven colored mop of hair on his head was pasted to his face and sweat drenched his brow. His sea green eyes reflected an intensity that bordered on madness._

Why am I here?! Answer me! _Percy shouted through his mind._

_Without warning, Percy's fist shot forward breaking the glass, fracturing it in multiple places. He withdrew his hand and shards of glass juxtaposed on each other, causing hot blood to roll in rivulets down his hands. Percy tightened his grasp on the sink and threw back his head to scream, only no sound came out. He silently screamed repeatedly and tears came unbidden. _

_Then Percy hastily wiped away the tears and willed himself to look up one more time. He was surprised to see that the mirror was reformed, as if he had never punched it. His reflection stared back at him and then suddenly it smiled, almost maniacally. Instantly, red writing formed over the skin of his reflection and Percy gasped. Words were cut into the skin of his reflection. _

Whore. Worthless. Hate. Bastard. Retard. Nobody. Alone. Unloved. Weak.

_Percy read the bloody carved letters on his reflection and his blood ran cold. The words were everywhere - on his arms, his chest, his neck, even his face. The reflection continued to smile as it pointed to each word and began to mouth them. Percy's hands began to tremble against the sink and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't look away._

_Then suddenly the reflection stood on a stool with a rope held loosely in his hands. He wrapped it around his neck like a noose, still smiling maniacally at the real Percy. Percy knew what "he" was doing and he wanted to scream for "him" to stop, he wanted to prevent "him" from completing "his" actions. The reflection threw back his head and laughed insanely before suddenly kicking the stool away, snapping his neck instantly, deadening the noise. _

Percy awoke and shot upright, gasping for huge breaths of air as sweat rolled down his forehead. He placed a hand on his chest and felt how his heart was beating almost twice its normal rate. Percy stared down at his lap, taking deep breaths while clenching and unclenching his pale hands.

_It's just a dream. It's just a dream. It's just a dream. _Percy chanted in his head, closing his eyes and trying to steady his breathing.

He choked back a sob and shielded his eyes with his hand. Growing angry at himself, he grit his teeth in determination.

_Get a grip, Jackson. Don't be weak. _He berated himself over his lapse of emotion.

Percy steeled his nerves and stood up shakily, staring at his familiar surroundings. There was no mattress or bed of any sort - only the cold hard floor. Chip packets and candy bar wrappers were strewn about the floor in a ragtag fashion. In a corner there were a pile of dirty clothes heaped upon each other. Besides that there were a couple books checked out from the public library - "Oliver Twist", "A Tale of Two Cities", "The Count of Monte Cristo", and "The Prince and the Pauper".

It was probably around three in the morning, but in New York, the city that never sleeps, noises of traffic could still be heard outside. Percy slipped on his only sweatshirt and walked down the stairs. He grasped the railing tightly to tether himself to Earth. Once he made it outside, he stuffed his hands in the pockets of the sweatshirt and kept his head down, trying to avoid trouble.

He turned and took one last look at the abandoned building that he lived in. The building was deteriorating rapidly and it was structurally unsound, but at least he didn't have to pay rent. There were sections of the building that were almost entirely missing and during the winter time, the cold could get unbearable. During those times, Percy would bury himself in a pile of clothes to stay warm, but it was never ever comfortable.

_Comfortable. _Percy almost snorted at the word. Comfort was an esoteric concept to Percy that only the select few could enjoy.

For as long as Percy could remember, he was an orphan. He ran away when he was in kindergarten, after his mother ... died. He ran and ran never knowing where he was really going. Then he stumbled on this apartment complex and he made his home there ever since. Sometimes he still had nightmares about the way that she died, but he would always try to focus on something else.

To get food and clothes, he would steal. That's why he had a copy of Oliver Twist in his room - he learned from the Artful Dodger. In fact, the Artful Dodger was as close to a hero that Percy had. In order to wash his clothes, Percy would go to Grover or Nico's houses and use their washing machines. He didn't like to take advantage of them, but it wasn't like he had cash to burn.

Percy headed to a local supermarket that was open 24 hours a day. He passed the clerk at the front who grunted a hello in response before turning back to his copy of Playboy. Percy wrinkled his nose in disgust as he headed to the back of the store. He stopped in front of the drink section and smirked to himself. He reverently picked up a bottle of Johnnie Walker Black Label and turned it in his hands, staring at the amber colored liquid.

"Hello there buddy!" Percy whispered under his breath with a smile.

After taking a quick look around, Percy stuffed the bottle into sweatshirt pockets and picked up a bottle of milk. Then he made his way back to the front of the store and went to the cashier. He handed the cashier a three dollar bill and bought the milk. The milk was just a cover for the whiskey - you don't just walk into a super market and walk back out without anything.

Percy opened the door and cast one last look at the clerk reading the Playboy magazine before turning away and leaving in disgust. Exploiting women like that drove him insane. He had half a mind to hurl his milk bottle at the pudgy clerk ogling at the pictures in the magazine.

_But that would be a waste of some perfectly good milk. _Percy thought to himself as he walked back to his apartment.

A few minutes later, Percy collapsed on a pile of his clothes and freed the bottle of whiskey from his jacket pockets. With a grin, he snapped the cap off expertly and took a long drought from it. He drank alcohol as easily as normal people drank water. The liquid stung his throat as it went down but he didn't care - he just wanted to block that perpetual pain that haunted him and this was the easiest way out.

Soon, he began to feel light headed and he knew he was drunk. Percy set the empty bottle down with flourish before collapsing on the heap of clothes that served as his bed and falling into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

He woke up a few hours later with a pounding headache. He needed to go and shower otherwise he would be late for school. Somehow the building still had access to plumbing and water so the showers worked which was pretty amazing. After stepping out of the shower, Percy stared at his naked body, particularly up the length of his arm. There were incisions made and words were spelled out.

_Worthless. Abandoned. Unloved. _Those words were etched into his arm and Percy ran a gentle finger across them without any emotion. Then instinctually, he reached for the razor blade on the edge of the sink.

He hesitated for a fraction of a second as the blade hovered ominously above his arm. Then the blade descended and began to tear through the soft skin of his arm. The warmth of his blood spilled over his cold, lifeless arms and tickled his previous scars as it ran down into the sink. He began with a "W" and then soon he finished the word.

_Weak._

He closed his eyes for a while, relishing the feel of his blood dripping down his arms. For unknown reasons, Percy craved this - he craved the self harm and he didn't know why. Maybe because it presented some illusion of control or that it was a way to escape from the perpetual pain that he felt by replacing it with something more physical and intimate. Then Percy opened his eyes and cleaned the wound carefully, trying to prevent it from being infected.

He slipped on a long sleeved green shirt and a pair of brown shorts. Without paying any attention to the rest of his body, he walked out of his apartment with his books stuffed in his hands.

During the long walk to school, he thought about dying. This was a bad habit of his, but he couldn't resist the allure - I mean, sudden cessation of all emotions, all pain, all hurt seemed almost too good to be true. Besides if Percy died, no one would miss him and no one would care, so why shouldn't he? Why shouldn't he just follow in his reflection's footsteps and hang himself? He could finally escape the hell that was his life! It would be over! Everything that hurt him, everything that brought him pain would cease to exist in a split second.

Percy shook his head when he neared the school, trying to disrupt his chain of thought. He knew he was too early, but he didn't care. As soon as he entered, he walked over to his locker and opened it gingerly for fear of messing with his hangover. He kept only the books that he would need for his first class with him and walked to the science department. He opened the door to the biology classroom and left his stuff on his desk before leaving.

School was tough for Percy. Percy had ADHD and dyslexia which also screwed with his ability to excel in school. No one else knew, not even his teachers, so they all just assumed that he was stupid. Of course, the kids called him "retard" and it was obvious the teachers thought along similar lines. And so Percy developed a frigid facade that refused to yield even the slightest bit of emotion. He developed a mordant sense of humor and mocked anything and everything around him as a defense mechanism.

Then there was just the general lack of caring that went along with a life of perpetual misery. He figured that if suffering was inevitable, effort had no place in the world. Ultimately, everyone would suffer - some would just suffer whilst sleeping in a more comfortable bed. Percy spared himself the heart ache of trying hard and failing - it was better to just not try at all than to build up unrealistic expectations that would ultimately not be met.

Percy did combat his dyslexia to a certain extent because he could tear through any book he wanted to and he loved them. His biggest problem was math, where the numbers seemed to leap of the page and run away. In addition, Percy had an unnaturally good memory as well, but that worked against him most of the time.

Percy was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he ran into the girl coming out of the hall to his left.

"Ow!" She said as she fell to the floor.

"Sorry." He mumbled as he extended a hand to help her up, being careful to make sure that it didn't roll back and expose his scars.

The girl looked up at him with an intimidating glare. Her perfect blond hair fell down her shoulders in ringlets and her outfit was perfect - her vintage Rolling Stones T-Shirt and designer jeans looked almost custom made to fit her and accentuate her curves. The shirt was a little low cut so the tips of her lacy white bra were visible. To any other boy, this would have induced some sort of hormonal fit, but to Percy her attire just signified a lack of respect for her body. She was just another girl that wanted to look seductive, but took offense when she was told that.

Only her eyes gave Percy pause. They were an intimidating gray that looked like ominous storm fronts. He half expected to see lightning flash in her eyes, but they remained rigidly gray. They would alternate between looking like pools of liquid silver to stormy cloud fronts.

"So are you going to take my hand or not?" He asked lazily.

"I'm fine." The girl snapped, picking herself up off the floor.

"Suit yourself." Percy said, shrugging his shoulders before sliding his hands back into his pockets.

_Annabeth Chase. _Percy thought in disdain.

He had an overwhelming urge to dump some water or something on her just to mess with how perfect she tried to be. She would never be perfect, so the effort was ultimately in vain. Percy tried to hide the revulsion he felt when he looked at her as the memories of his only interaction with her resurfaced in his mind. He shuddered imperceptibly when the memories came back. He wondered if she remembered how much she had screwed his life up.

She stared at him as though he was a science experiment or a biological sample to be dissected. Percy imagined himself on a giant slide as Annabeth stared into a microscope, trying to study him. Her gaze made him feel irritated and slightly angry, but he buried it under his austere facade.

_I'm not some play thing for you to study. I'm a living, breathing human being and I deserve to be treated as such. _Percy seethed internally.

"Are you going to keep staring at me, or can I leave now? I already apologized, so unless you want my lunch money or if you want to call me a retard, I think I'll get going." Percy deadpanned to the girl in front of him, growing increasingly irritated.

_She actually doesn't remember... Un-fucking-believable... _Percy seethed internally and he clenched and unclenched his fists. If he stayed next to her for too long, he wouldn't be able to resist the temptation to hurt her.

He turned to begin walking away when her hands latched onto his shoulder and turned him around forcefully. Percy let a glimpse of undisguised rage pass through his eyes before she talked.

"Listen mister, I was not staring at you. I have a boyfriend, you know." She hissed.

"Yeah, everyone in the school knows." He said flatly, an edge of venom in his voice as he brushed her hand off his shoulder.

"Watch where you're going next time and don't you dare spread rumors about me staring at you." Annabeth hissed.

Percy smirked at her disdainfully. "No worries about that. I wouldn't sink to your level even if you begged." He said sardonically before turning around again.

"What do you mean 'my level'?" Annabeth snapped.

Percy turned his head slightly towards her. "Don't ask me questions you already know the answers to. That's a waste of your _precious_ time and mine." He said before beginning to walk away, placing special emphasis on the word "Precious" to make it as mocking as possible.

"Don't get on my bad side." Annabeth warned, jabbing a finger at his retreating form.

_On your bad side? Honey, I'm on the entire school's hate list, I think adding one more person isn't going to change anything. _Percy thought bitterly.

Percy laughed mockingly and turned his head ever so slightly, so that only his luminescent eyes could be seen. "You're funny. I think I like you." He said with a smirk as he continued walking.

Annabeth pissed him off and he enjoyed toying with her by using cryptic remarks. He knew that she hated not knowing things, so he was probably driving her insane right now.

_No one should have a life that perfect, least of all her. _Percy thought in quiet anger.

Percy walked around the school aimlessly, waiting for Nico and Grover to show up. Grover was an old friend of Percy's from back in middle school and he was slightly crippled due to polio attacks from when he was a baby. Nico moved here in the 8th grade and he and Percy hit it off immediately - they both shared a dark sense of humor and they were fiercely loyal towards each other.

Ten minutes passed before the first students began to mill into the school and then suddenly there was an uncontrollable flood of students walking, pushing, or shoving their way into the school. Percy picked out Nico and Grover quickly and he dragged them out of the crowd. The three of them went to their respective lockers together to get their materials for class. Their last stop was Nico's locker, which was unfortunately right next to the locker of the football captain and most popular kid in school, Luke Castellan.

The three of them walked there and nearly vomited in disgust when they saw Luke and Annabeth going at it without the decency to find a room. Percy's initial feelings of revulsion were dwarfed compared to what he was feeling right now - he was physically nauseas.

"Oh that's fucking gross." Percy spat out, doing his best to sound as repulsed as he felt.

Annabeth and Luke turned to see the three of them standing a short distance away. Nico was laughing riotously at Percy's comment, Grover looked at them in embarrassment, and Percy continued to look at them with complete revulsion and disdain.

Annabeth glared at Percy as Luke drew himself up to full height, rage apparent in his eyes. This would have terrified any other student in school, but Percy had fallen asleep to the sound of drive-by's since he was in kindergarten - it wasn't like this gorilla was going to scare him.

"You wanna die retard?" Luke snarled at them, cracking his knuckles in anticipation.

"Ooh, scary." Percy teased and Nico's laughter began anew. Grover shifted uncomfortably beside him - he was always the nervous, goody two shoes of the group. Him being a pacifist really didn't help right now, but Nico and Percy could probably take Luke on by themselves.

Luke cracked his knuckles once more and began to advance upon them. Grover quivered, Nico straightened himself and wore an eager smile, and Percy maintained his icy composure.

Annabeth placed a gentle hand on her boyfriend's arm, stopping him. "Luke, don't. You don't want to get in trouble over losers like them." She said loud enough so Percy and his friends could hear.

Instead of perturbing Percy like she hoped, he merely smirked and turned the statement back at her. "Good call, Chase. Wouldn't want your dumb ass of a boyfriend going on a hormonal kill spree, would we?" He said sardonically.

Percy could see Luke tremble in rage and he was enjoying himself immensely. Messing with Luke and Annabeth was just too much fun, even if it was social suicide. Then again, it wasn't like they had far to fall anyways so might as well make the best of the situation.

Percy stepped closer with every intention of pissing off the pair of them even more. He was pushing his luck, but he honestly didn't care. "That would ruin 'Little Ms. Perfect's' life and we can't have that, now can we Nico?" He asked with a smirk.

Nico grinned evilly. "Of course not. She's got to keep her little dog on it's leash. Otherwise, it'll bite someone and get put down." He said sadistically.

_Well played, Nico! I am impressed. _Percy thought to himself in surprise.

"Don't test me, Di Angelo." Luke warned them, his voice turning hoarse with rage.

Percy had had enough fun with them for now so he merely winked at Annabeth and grabbed his friends by the shoulders, steering them away. Before he passed out of earshot, he wanted to take one final stab at them just to really screw with them. "Make sure you use protection, Chase. Being preggers isn't good for your Yale application!" He called back malevolently and Annabeth positively squirmed with rage, her face turning purple as she stomped on the ground.

The three boys laughed the entire way to biology class thinking about how upset the two of them were going to be.

* * *

The week passed without a hitch for Percy and the rest of the gang. Percy continued drinking, but he didn't cut himself for the rest of the weak since he had found a new hobby - harassing Annabeth Chase. It wouldn't begin to makeup for what she did to him, but Percy took what he could get - a jab here, a snide remark there - eventually he was hoping she would crack under the weight of cumulated grievances. After all, wasn't there a chinese proverb that went something like, "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."?

Percy spun his pencil around his fingers, waiting for detention to end. He was there for not turning in a single assignment in biology since school started a month ago. Since there was still about ten minutes left on the clock, he decided to fantasize about seeing Annabeth Chase crying. He grinned dopily to himself at the thought of her shattered and broken, her perfect life in ruins. Percy could almost dance in glee - the thought was too good to be true.

Then Percy began to think of more ways to annoy the living daylights out of her. He turned over the sheet of paper that he had been writing "I will turn in my homework" a thousand times on, and began to right all of his ideas down. He finished number forty three, "_Fill her lunch box with spiders"_, when the teacher gave him the signal that he could leave.

Percy gave his teacher a terse nod as he collected his books and began walking to his locker to get the rest of his stuff. He didn't have a backpack so he was forced to carry everything in his arms, which was incredibly annoying. He opened his locker and retrieved his math book, grammar book, and US History textbook while placing his biology book back in his locker. Closing the locker behind him, Percy started to make his way back out of the school, but not before stopping for a drink at the water fountain. Once his thirst was quenched, he wiped his mouth with sleeve and stood up.

The sudden sound of paper tearing and a heart wrenching scream caused Percy to whip his head towards an empty classroom. Unlike the other classrooms, this one still had its light on, so someone must have been doing something inside. Percy walked over hesitantly and read the room name.

_Architecture 101 - Mr. Lindberg. Huh. I did not know we had an architecture class. Wonder who could be in here? _Percy thought curiously.

Taking extreme caution, Percy poked his head forward and looked through the pane of glass, into the room. The room was of average size and was filled with giant pads of drawing paper that were supported by those wooden things that hold canvases up, he didn't know what they were called. The rest of the room had pictures of famous architectural landmarks - The Coliseum, The Parthenon, The Eiffel Tower, The Leaning Tower of Pisa, etc. Scattered around the floor were a couple blue prints similar to the ones that construction workers used.

Just when Percy thought the room really was abandoned after all and that he was just hearing things, he heard a slight sniffle from the far back corner of the room that was directly diagonal to him. Percy inhaled sharply and dropped all of his books.

Percy Jackson had gotten his wish - Annabeth Chase was crying relentlessly in the corner of a random abandoned architecture classroom, completely and utterly broken. At that moment, Annabeth Chase was anything but "Little Ms. Perfect".

* * *

**A/N: Hello Everyone! I hope you enjoyed the chapter! I said it would be dark, so don't say that I didn't warn you. For those of you that didn't catch on, Percy suffers from alcoholism, but more on that later. Sorry about the middle kind of being a repeat from last chapter. How about that ending, huh? Thoughts? Concerns? Questions? Send them in a review. Next chapter will be Annabeth's POV about the week, and the chapter after that will continue where this one left off. Thanks for reading and as always: Follow, Favorite, and Review!**


	4. Diagnosis

**A/N: Again, skip the first bit if you're not interested in a small lemon scene. I promise it's about character development, not just about mindless promiscuity. **

**Diagnosis**

Annabeth's car parked outside of Luke's mansion and she stepped outside. The party was already in full swing, but Annabeth arrived precisely when she meant to so that no time was wasted waiting for the party to actually start. She smiled at her friends and rolled her eyes at boys that whistled at her as she walked around trying to find her boyfriend. It was his birthday and half the school had been invited, at least the _important_ half was.

Luke was nearby his pool, standing with a beer in hand talking to three girls. Annabeth's eyes narrowed jealously and a feeling of possessiveness began to ferment on the inside. She stalked over to Luke, yanked him down, and kissed him hard and possessively to frighten off the girls. The girls scoffed and left.

"Wow, what was that?" Luke asked once they broke apart.

"Nothing." Annabeth replied mischievously.

Luke's expression changed from one of polite puzzlement to bemusement, but his hands found their way to her hips and settled there comfortably.

"Happy Birthday..." Annabeth breathed against his ear and she noticed the slight shiver run through his body.

The two of them began to kiss each other fervently without paying much attention to the rest of the party.

"Do you have a room?" Annabeth panted and Luke nodded in affirmation.

The pair of them removed themselves from the party and headed to his room upstairs. Annabeth pushed him onto his bed and straddled him. Luke reached up to touch her but she pushed his hands back down. She loved being in control and she liked to see Luke unravel beneath her, losing all pretenses of control. The knowledge that she could have that effect on someone was an addictive feeling - she felt powerful beyond measure.

"What do you want?" Annabeth demanded, enjoying every second of Luke's suffering.

Luke looked at her lustfully and his intent was clear, but Annabeth wanted him to say it. She wanted him, the captain of the football team and most popular boy in school, to beg her for it. She was in charge and she wasn't going to give him what he wanted until he acknowledged that.

Annabeth bent down and nibbled on his ear, eliciting a moan. Smirking, Annabeth purred into his ear, "Say it."

He couldn't take it anymore and when he spoke, his voice was hoarse. "You."

She withdrew with a devilish smirk as she tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. Then her fingers moved quickly as she unbuckled Luke's pants quickly and slid down his boxers, all the while reveling in the way he squirmed eagerly. She smirked to herself one last time before moving down his body, but not before noticing the way he closed his eyes in anticipation and struggled to keep control.

* * *

"Ready to go Annie?" Her father asked her as he drew up to her school.

Annabeth slung her designer bag over her shoulder and she closed her book as she stood. She made her way over to her father's car and sat inside.

"Yeah dad, let's go." She said with a small smile.

It was a Wednesday and school had ended. Annabeth had stayed after for math team but she had to leave practice early to go to her doctor's appointment. It was nothing too big - just a normal check up that happened biannually. It was a mundane, but necessary affair.

Her dad started the car again and began driving. As he did, Annabeth pulled out her book and buried her face back into it. The book was rather good and under normal circumstances, she would have enjoyed it. But these were not normal circumstances - they were anything but. Annabeth bought her own copy of all the books she was required to read at school for two reasons. First, she liked to make her own notes and mark things to study for the test or a report should there be one. The second reason was that she enjoyed almost every book she had ever been assigned in school and so it was worth it to have a copy of her own.

Unfortunately for her, Percy had gotten ahold of her copy of "The Odyssey" when she wasn't looking and had scribbled over every page in black marker. The pages he didn't have time to scribble over, he tore out, as evident in the careless tears scattered throughout her book.

Annabeth wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of buying a new book. Instead, she continued to read from her current copy like there wasn't anything wrong with it. Of course, that meant that she had to decipher the content behind the black marker or that she had to borrow her friend's copies for pages that were torn out, but she was too stubborn to get a new copy.

_Screw you, Percy Jackson. _Annabeth thought grumpily.

Percy had taken it upon himself to screw with Annabeth's life whenever he got the opportunity. Anything that he thought might annoy her, he did. Unfortunately, Percy seemed to have a knack for disturbing her. His jabs ranged anywhere from a snide remark about secret insecurities that Annabeth buried in her heart to full blown pranks that never ceased to agitate her. Once, he had gotten ahold of her lunch and added laxatives to it - she had to stay in the bathroom for most of school that day.

The worst part of it was, Annabeth couldn't do anything that even remotely affected him. She had nothing to threaten him with - he was fearless, already failing school, didn't care about anything worthwhile, and at the bottom of the social food chain. Annabeth was a smart girl and so she went after his friends, but that backfired since that only escalated his provocations and she couldn't keep up with him.

_What's he got against me? I don't even know the guy and he's after me like he's got some sort of personal vendetta against me! _She thought in frustration.

No matter how hard she wracked her brain, she could never remember what she might have done that would have caused him to act like this. Annabeth hated not knowing things and this was driving her insane.

"Honey, we're here." Her father said gently, disrupting her foul thoughts towards Percy.

Annabeth wordlessly slid out of the car and left her designer bag behind. She followed her dad into the hospital that she had visited since she was a child. After a thirty minute wait where Annabeth silently fumed about Percy, the nurse came in and informed her that the doctor was ready to see her. Once the preliminary things were out of the way - weighing her, measuring her height, and giving her a survey - the doctor walked in with a clipboard.

"Hey Annabeth, how's it going?" Asked Dr. Solace, her doctor since the third grade.

"Everything's fine, Dr. Solace." She said with a weak smile.

"Good to hear. We're just doing a basic check up today. Nothing out of the ordinary and since you're up to date on your immunizations, you won't even need a shot." Dr. Solace said with a good natured smile.

"Great." Annabeth said neutrally.

"Do you want your father here?" Dr. Solace asked, gesturing to her dad.

"I'll step out - I've got a business call to take." Mr. Chase said before leaving the room.

For the next twenty minutes, Annabeth went through her check up like normal when Dr. Solace felt something on her back during some tests.

"That's odd? Annabeth, have you been having back pains?" Dr. Solace asked curiously, still probing her back gently with his finger.

"Actually, yes I have. I have had them for a month or two now. Why do you ask?" Annabeth asked curiously.

Dr. Solace's face paled for a slight second before he plastered a calm look on his face.

"Annabeth, we're going to do a scanning on your back, primarily your spinal cord. Now, I don't want you to worry - I just want to check something. It's better to be safe than sorry." He explained and Annabeth frowned.

"What's wrong?" Annabeth asked but Dr. Solace waived it off.

Another ten minutes later, the scan was done and Annabeth was sitting on a hospital bed alone in the room, awaiting Dr. Solace's return. Annabeth's hands grew clammy and she nervously bit on her finger nails, an awful habit of hers. She sat deep in concentration and worry.

_Am I alright? I wonder what's wrong? Dr. Solace seemed really spooked earlier. I hope nothing's wrong... _Annabeth wondered nervously.

The door knob rustled slightly and Annabeth was partially disappointed to see her father walk in.

"Dr. Solace thinks that there might be something wrong with me." She blurted out before she could help it.

Mr. Chase walked over with a slight frown on his face. He clapped her on the back encouragingly. "I'm sure that it's nothing important, honey." He said, but Annabeth wasn't convinced.

This time when the door knob shook, Dr. Solace did walk in - only he had on that doctor poker face that Annabeth had seen so much on TV. Her heart fell instantly and she went back to biting her nails, not daring to ask what had happened.

Dr. Solace pulled himself a seat and gestured to an empty chair. "Feel free to sit down Mr. Chase." He said calmly, trying to keep his voice emotionless.

"It's fine. What's going on?" Mr. Chase cut in sharply.

Dr. Solace pulled out a sheet of paper from his file, opened his pen, and took a deep breath. He rolled his wheely chair to the hospital bed where Annabeth and her father were.

"This is going to be some difficult news to accept, but I want you to understand that I will do everything in my power to help your daughter." He said before Mr. Chase cut in again.

"Dammit, will you just tell me what's wrong?!" He roared and the doctor looked up at him wearily.

"Well, I won't beat around the bush: Annabeth has a malignant tumor growing on her spinal cord." Dr. Solace said placidly.

Annabeth felt her entire world stop and her father's grip tightened unbearably on her arm. "You- you're joking right?" Annabeth asked, partially hysterically.

Her father's face was devoid of all emotion and blood.

"Unfortunately, I am not. As you can see here on the X-Ray, this bump right here is your tumor. I am afraid that it is very much real." Dr. Solace said with a grimace.

"How long?" Annabeth asked before she could stop herself, not caring to elaborate because she knew the doctor would understand.

"We don't know - anywhere between 6-10 months, a year tops." Dr. Solace said grimly.

"Is it curable?" Asked Mr. Chase for the first time.

The doctor's face darkened. "There isn't an explicit cure for neurofibromatosis, which is what your daughter has. It's a relatively rare type of genetic cancer and the fact that it is growing on her spinal cord complicates surgical procedures to a great degree. We're definitely going to try chemotherapy for starters to reduce the size of the tumor before we can even begin to consider surgery. Frankly, at this moment in time the tumor is simply too big to operate on without causing serious damage to Annabeth's spinal cord - as serious as paralysis or even death." He concluded darkly.

Frederick Chase's grip on his daughters hand weakened and he fell to the floor in defeat. Annabeth's face remained emotionless - she was in shock, she couldn't comprehend what the doctor was saying. She _couldn't_ have cancer. She just couldn't. She had her whole life ahead of her - she still had to graduate from high school, she had to go to college, she would never see Athens or the Parthenon, she would never get to see the world, she would never find the man of her dreams and settle down, she would never have kids, she would never grow old. All this struck Annabeth in a moment of realization and she tried very hard not to lose it right then and there. She had to be strong and put on a brave face for her father - if he knew how terrified she was, he would worry even more.

"When do I start chemo?" Annabeth asked wearily.

"I think in a week or two would be acceptable. You'll need to take the day off from school since you'll be too weak to attend." Dr. Solace explained.

"Doctor, be honest with me, what are the survival rates?" Annabeth asked, dreading his response.

"Neurofibromatosis is genetic and therefore varies from person to person. I can't offer you an estimate and doing so wouldn't make things any easier in the long run." Dr. Solace said softly.

"Doctor, please..." Annabeth plead.

A shadow of pity passed the doctors eyes before he answered. "We're looking at maybe a one in three chance of recovery, and that's assuming you respond properly to chemotherapy." He said, his voice slipping slightly in emotion.

"Thank you. I will see you soon." Annabeth said tersely before pulling herself up and walking out of the hospital room. Her father followed behind her and the two of them drove home in silence.

Once Annabeth made it home, she ran into her room and locked it behind her. She slumped up against the doorway and sobbed violently, finally permitting her tears to fall in the privacy of her room. That night, she ignored the desperate attempts of her parents to cajole her into seeing them, eating dinner, or speaking to them. Annabeth simply plugged in her headphones, cranked up the volume, and stared at the ceiling while laying on her bed. She didn't bother to do her homework that night for the first time in her life and she changed into pajama's to feel more comfortable. She turned off her cell phone to avoid texts from her friends. At around midnight, Annabeth buried her face in her pillow and screamed until her voice turned hoarse and eventually gave out. Somehow, she slipped into a dreamless sleep, her tears still caking her face.

* * *

It was Friday now and Annabeth's week was awful. She couldn't get the thought of her impending doom out of her head. Nothing she did felt like it had any meaning. Honestly, who cared about Taylor Polynomials when she was going to die? Everything around her lost value and she was struck by how _superficial_ her life was around her.

At lunch that day she snapped at Silena in annoyance, when she was going on about how she _had_ to have these cute new heels she saw at some designer boutique.

"Oh my god Rachel, you should have seen them! They were to _die_ for! I swear, I will be miserable unless my parents get them for me." Silena gushed passionately.

Annabeth's long building temper finally burst. "No one cares, Silena! You're not going to die over shoes. Stop being such a materialistic, self-centered airhead for once in your life! The whole world doesn't spin around you, you know?" Annabeth snapped and the entire table went silent.

"Well Annabeth, I'm sorry that you feel that way." Silena said stiffly before picking up her tray and walking away.

Annabeth sighed and buried her head in her hands, feeling tired and disappointed at herself. It wasn't Silena's fault that she had terminal cancer - she was just being herself and Annabeth snapped at her. Annabeth had made the executive decision to not tell any of her school friends about her disease. They would begin to treat her differently and pity her. Or worse, they might abandon her in disgust. No, she needed to keep up her perfect girl, perfect world facade and act like nothing was wrong. That would at least distract her from the knowledge of her impending doom.

Annabeth stood up from her chair to follow Silena and apologize. She finally found her and when she did, Silena forgave her and waived it off, saying that she did have a tendency to ramble about her clothing obsessions. When she asked her if everything was alright, Annabeth just plastered a perfect fake smile on her face and told her everything was going swimmingly.

As Silena left, Annabeth turned to leave for the library when her eyes met Percy's. He was sitting alone, holding a copy of "Les Miserables" in his hands and staring at her. Just by looking into his eyes, Annabeth knew that he could see right through her deception. Annabeth glared at him and stormed away, determined not to deal with him, but she noticed that instead of smirking like he usually would when she was upset with him, Percy's eyes glowed with something far more disturbing - understanding. She shook her head trying to forget she thought that.

Percy's pestering had only escalated after her diagnosis and it made Annabeth want to tear her hair out. The idiot was picking on a girl with terminal cancer! How insensitive could you get? Of course, he didn't know about her illness either so she couldn't complain, but she just wished that he would leave her alone.

Annabeth had been avoiding Luke after having been diagnosed. She didn't want to be with someone that she didn't love when she was in a time of hardship. Luke was just a status symbol for Annabeth to flaunt around. She only went out with him because she liked the way that other girl's looked at her when she was with him - like she was the lucky one that the big, bad high school football star had chosen.

The rest of the day passed uneventfully, and after school, Annabeth went to the architecture room to draw and get her mind off of things. Annabeth's dream was to become an architect and to create something permanent. She supposed that was because there was nothing in her life that felt solid - her grades, her reputation, her social status, and now even her own life hung by a thread. Annabeth wanted to build monuments that would last for eons, that would be admired for millennia after her death. Now she realized that she didn't even have that luxury. She was going to die without accomplishing anything worthwhile. She wouldn't be remembered - her name would just fade into oblivion like countless others before and countless others to come.

Annabeth ignored this pessimistic side of herself and focused on the drawing board in front of her. She furiously began drawing a design, letting her mind go blank as she lost herself in a moment of divine inspiration and artistic fervor. Oh how she relished the feeling of inspiration - it was something no one could ever take away from her and she cherished it.

After an hour or so of drawing, she realized that the entire thing turned out wrong. That was what did her in; what finally pushed her over the precipice.

She vehemently tore the paper off the board and screamed in agony. She crumpled up the paper in a ball and threw it into empty space. Then she crumpled to the floor and hugged her knees, sobbing into her legs. She felt so weak and there was nothing she could do about it. Annabeth wasn't used to feeling helpless - in her mind, every problem had a solution that a clever mind could find, no matter what the difficulty. This time however, Annabeth was finally presented with an unsolvable puzzle, but it was also the question upon which her survival hinged.

The door opened so quietly that Annabeth didn't hear it over her sobbing.

A gentle, hesitant voice snapped her out of her thoughts. "Annabeth?... Are you alright?" The voice asked. It was oddly familiar, but Annabeth couldn't place it.

Without any precautions or forethought, Annabeth flung herself into the arms of the speaker, not caring who it was. All she needed now was comfort, she wanted someone to know and tell her that everything was going to be alright. The frame of the person was wiry, like he was malnourished. Annabeth assumed it was a he because of the tone of the voice. She sobbed relentlessly into the stranger's shoulder as his hands hesitantly rested on her lower back.

The more she cried, the tighter she held onto him and Annabeth desperately hoped that whoever this boy was, he wouldn't try to take advantage of her in her moment of weakness. Soon, she felt some gentle, soft fingers run through her hair in the most comforting gesture in the world. His fingers combed through her hair softly, almost affectionately and Annabeth craved his touch. She never ever wanted this stranger to stop. The stranger's warm breath tickled her ears as he whispered comforting nothings in her ear even though he had no idea what was wrong. This only made Annabeth cry harder despite his words to the contrary.

Annabeth inhaled the scent of her mystery boy and felt her knees almost buckle at the comforting scent of a chilled ocean breeze and chocolate chip cookies. She couldn't take it a second longer - she had to know who this saint, this divine angel sent from heaven in her moment of need, was.

She slowly leant back and stared into the face of her comforter with teary eyes. She was shocked when they locked with a pair of familiar, heart wrenchingly complex and beautiful sea green eyes that swirled like a dark and stormy sea, pulling her in and knocking down all of her carefully erected walls.

_Oh kill me now..._

The boy who was being so gentle, understanding, and dare she say it: _loving_, was none other than the boy that had decided to make her life a living hell for the past week. Even at her weakest moment, fate found a way to kick her when she was down.

_Why Percy Jackson? Why him?_

* * *

**A/N: Hello everyone! I hope you found the chapter interesting. Percabeth begins to blossom in the air, so get ready folks! Anyhow, a few quick notes. 1. Annabeth's form of cancer is real and I've done my research, but I've fudged her chances of survival slightly so that it seems bleaker than it actually is. 2. Percy is a nihilist if you didn't catch it last chapter, and nihilism is a big theme for this story. ****I am so glad that a guest reviewer picked on that! **3. Annabeth's kind of a self-centered, sadistic control freak, but that changes with time. Again, I hope you enjoyed it and if you did: Follow, Favorite, and Review!


	5. Beginnings

**Beginnings**

_Why Percy Jackson? Why him?_

Annabeth's initial thought was to push him away in repulsion, but there was something about the way Percy was looking back at her that stayed her hand. For once, he didn't look so bitter or angry or flat out annoying. Instead he looked like he cared and like he understood even though he still had no idea what was wrong with her.

"Why are you helping me?" Annabeth demanded aggressively, trying to tease out the Percy that she had grown to know. She figured that if she provoked him, she would get his snarky side to come back out. Frankly, this side of Percy was scary because he was almost likable, and Annabeth did _not_ want to like him.

"Because I want to." He said simply, not caring to elaborate. Annabeth noticed that his demeanor stayed the same, and his darker side wasn't prevalent.

His finger reached out and brushed a stray strand of her hair away from her face, and although Annabeth thought she would have pulled away from his touch, the gentleness and care behind the simple action made her shiver in happiness.

Percy interpreted this the wrong way because he said, "Sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable. I suppose I should stop holding you now."

"No!" Annabeth said, probably a little more forcefully then she should have because Percy's lips curved upwards in a smile.

"I mean, I am not uncomfortable with getting support when I need it." She stammered defensively.

"Annabeth?" Percy asked her, still smiling.

"Yes Percy?" She asked back.

"Shut up and hug me." He said before wrapping his arms around her again. Annabeth laughed against his chest as he drew her in. Her arms tightened around him and it occurred to her that she fit almost perfectly in his arms, like they were molded to fit each other. It certainly felt more natural to her than when she hugged Luke.

Percy broke away and her train of thought was derailed. "So what's wrong?" He asked her, genuine worry glistening in his eyes.

Annabeth bit her lip and had an internal dilemma. _Should I tell him or not? He did comfort me, so he has a right to know. Besides, what's the worst he can do? _Annabeth thought to herself.

"Fine, I'll tell you, but only if you promise not to tell another living soul." Annabeth warned him.

Percy shook his head in agreement. "I promise." He said firmly.

Annabeth took a deep breath before she spoke. "I have a tumor growing on my spinal cord. I don't have much longer left - a year at best." She said breathlessly.

She looked up at Percy to gauge his reaction. He looked the same, but his pallor was evident and his beautiful eyes were clouded in regret and understanding. Annabeth was expecting pity in his eyes - after all, everyone else that knew wore looks of sympathy and pity which infuriated her. She didn't want anyone's pity, but Percy's reaction made her feel comforted for the first time.

Percy cleared his throat before speaking and when he did, his voice was hoarse. "I'm sorry." He choked out.

"For what? You didn't give me cancer." Annabeth said, her eyebrows furrowing.

"I was insensitive and I still annoyed you when you were struggling with something like this. I feel awful right now." Percy said self-loathingly.

"Hey, I just found out this Wednesday, so it's not like you were doing it all along." She reasoned.

Percy looked away. "That doesn't excuse my behavior." He said quietly and Annabeth felt uncomfortable because she didn't know how to respond.

Eventually, Percy just sighed and looked back at her with a weak smile. "So what were you doing in here?" He asked her, using an encompassing gesture to indicate he was talking about the room.

She wiped her eyes quickly to try to get rid any remaining tears. "I was drawing up some blueprints." Annabeth said simply.

"Why?" Percy asked curiously.

Annabeth snorted. "Why do you think? To sketch out buildings." She said condescendingly, but she regretted it instantly - Percy was just trying to be nice and trying to distract her from the knowledge of her impending doom and she had lashed out at him.

Percy smiled wryly at her. "There's the Annabeth I know and hate." He said with a smirk and Annabeth laughed.

She punched his shoulder playfully, but she noticed how a shiver ran through his body when her fist came in contact with his shoulder.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to." She said, referring to her condescending tone, but also for making him shiver.

Percy shook his head. "Nah, it's quite alright. But again, why?" He asked her.

"Why what?" She asked him back.

"Why draw sketches of buildings?" He asked.

"Well I want to be an architect when I... well under normal circumstances, I would say grow up, but I'm not so sure anymore." Annabeth said nervously.

Percy looked her in the eyes and said something she would never forget. "Don't let the disease define you. You're a strong person - you'll push through. Don't let your ailment change who you are." He said seriously before adding in a joke, "Otherwise the world would be deprived of the biggest condescending, smart alec ever!"

Annabeth laughed again, but she noticed how Percy never laughed - he only smiled, and even then it was only weakly. She wondered what his laugh sounded like, or what his real smile looked like.

_Before I die, I want to see that boy laugh and show me his real smile. _Annabeth thought to herself.

"Why do you want to be an architect?" He asked her and Annabeth fidgeted nervously. No one had ever asked her before because no one had really cared - they just assumed it was Annabeth being Annabeth.

"Well I want to create something permanent, something that will outlast me and be remembered forever." Annabeth explained.

Then Percy said something else that she would never forget - only this hit closer to home. "Permanency is an illusion." Percy said emotionlessly.

"What do you mean by that?" Asked Annabeth curiously.

Percy's voice was devoid of emotion when he began talking, but when he did, he sounded almost poetic. "Everything around us will eventually be destroyed - everything that anyone has ever known or ever will know will perish someday. The Second Law of Thermodynamics tells us that all systems approach entropy or disorder. Nothing we know is permanent - the Parthenon will collapse some day, and so will your building and frankly, there's nothing we can do about that." He said simply.

"Is that a reason to avoid doing something worthwhile?" She challenged, enjoying the intellectually stimulating conversation.

"Define worthwhile?" Percy threw back.

"We assign worth to the things around us. There's no such thing as intrinsic value, but we can give things value subjectively." Annabeth retaliated.

"Your assumption is flawed - there's no such thing as value. Value doesn't exist external from our subjective and arbitrary standards, which means that at best, it's a figment of our imagination - something that we've invented to help ourselves cope with the sheer meaninglessness of our existence." Percy said calmly.

Annabeth pondered a response, but Percy spoke again. "This ties back into my comment about permanence - even if things do have value, the fact that they will inevitably degenerate, be it a relationship or a building, means the gesture is meaningless." Percy explained.

Annabeth frowned at him. "You've just said that doing anything is stupid."

Percy flashed her a crooked smile. "Precisely."

She thought a little while longer for a retaliatory response, but she found none. "You're a real Debbie Downer, you know." She joked.

Percy smiled slightly at her again. "I've been called worse." He said.

Annabeth sat down and Percy joined her. She held her hand out to him and he laced his fingers with hers, intertwining them in a comforting gesture.

"You're pretty smart. Why don't you try at school?" Annabeth asked him.

"Same reasons I outlined above - I think it's pointless to try hard and build up unrealistic expectations which ultimately won't be met." He said.

Annabeth looked at him seriously. "Your argument works in theory, and for the purposes of a debate, it's a good one, but you can't honestly live that way in real life, Percy." She said.

Percy looked at her and Annabeth saw for the first time how much hurt swirled behind his oceanic eyes. "It's worked for me so far, Annabeth. Now I am never disappointed." He said bitterly.

Annabeth squeezed her hand against his in a comforting gesture to which he smiled wryly at her. "Enough with my philosophy of life, and more about you. How are you holding up?" He asked her.

After tucking back another stray strand of her that popped in front of her face, Annabeth answered. "I'm not entirely sure. I'm kind of in this twilight zone between shock and complete despair, but everyday the reality of my situation closes in around me." Annabeth shrugged, trying to breeze over her inner turmoil.

Percy didn't say anything for a while, probably because he was trying to formulate a response. "I'm not going to tell you that you're going to get through this or that you're a fighter and that you'll find someway to push through because I don't have any right to and it's ultimately not helpful. What I will say is that you should appreciate the small things and to try to live without regrets for the rest of your life, regardless of if you survive or not." Percy said and Annabeth nodded in response.

She was glad that Percy was at least being honest about her predicament. She hated it when people in the hospital refused to confront the fact that she was slowly dying, trying to sugar coat her illness to make it more palatable. People should just come out and say it - they should be honest.

"Come on." Percy said standing up and leading her to one of the drawing boards up there.

"You and I are going to make a list of all the things you need to do before you bite the dust, okay?" He asked her, and she smiled and nodded.

"Okay, let's do this!" Percy said enthusiastically, uncapping a black marker and handing it to her. He took a green one for himself and studied the empty sheet of paper. Annabeth thought about all the things that she wanted to do.

_Annabeth and Percy's List of Awesomeness:_

_1. Skip school and play hookey_ - Percy added to the board.

_2. Go on a trip to Boston _- Annabeth added.

_3. Camp up in the Catskill Mountains for a few days _- Percy put on the board and Annabeth nodded appreciatively.

_4. Go skiing in Vermont during the Winter - _Annabeth wrote and Percy grinned at her.

_5. Get drunk at a night club and stay up all night - _Annabeth added, but she noticed that Percy grow pale when she wrote that.

_6. Go stargazing - _Percy wrote on the board.

_7. Go on a binge eating spree, without worrying about my weight -_ Annabeth added to the list.

Percy stepped back and nodded approvingly at the list and Annabeth joined him.

"Not a bad list, I'd say." Percy said with a smirk to which Annabeth nodded.

"We'll do everything on here - together." Percy said earnestly and Annabeth turned around to look at him.

For a second, she forgot about Luke being her boyfriend and she noticed how gorgeous Percy was. He wasn't what traditionally fit the bill for attractiveness - he was scrawny, he was pale, he never laughed, and he was snarky - but for some reason, Annabeth was captivated by him. She liked the way that his raven black hair spiked out carelessly in all directions, she liked the way that the right half of his mouth tugged up higher than his left when he smiled, but most of all, she loved his eyes. She felt like she could stare into them for an eternity and just drown in their remarkable depth and complexity.

Annabeth had half a mind to kiss him right then and there, but she caught herself and berated herself internally. She was going out with the most popular guy in school, so it was illogical for her to like Percy. Then why did she feel like Percy was so much more desirable than Luke had ever been? Was it because he listened and actually cared about her? Was it because of his quirky personality?

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Asked Percy suspiciously.

Annabeth felt her face growing uncomfortably warm and it felt like a million butterfly's had suddenly flown into her stomach and were desperately trying to get out.

"Umm, what do you mean?" Annabeth asked nervously.

"You're drooling and staring at me." Percy said with a slight smirk.

Annabeth wiped her face, completely mortified, only to find that there was nothing there. She was going to chastise him, but then she heard Percy Jackson laugh. It was all Annabeth could do, not to cry tears of joy - Percy's laugh was so bright and carefree, it was like every good thing in the world had manifested itself into a simple sound. Annabeth felt like she could listen to it for hours.

"Oh, I completely got you!" Percy said, still roaring with laughter while Annabeth smiled dopily at him.

Then she remembered she was supposed to be mad, and she didn't want Percy to notice that she had found her most favorite sound. "That was not nice. Making fun of the cancer girl is low." She said mock angrily.

Percy wiped his grin of his face with great difficulty. "Playing the cancer card isn't fair - it ruins all the fun!" He joked.

"Well you better get used to it, Seaweed Brain." Annabeth smirked.

A queer expression found its way on Percy's face. "Seaweed Brain?" He asked.

"Yeah, your eyes remind me of the ocean and you're oblivious and kind clumsy, but in a good way." Annabeth explained and Percy nodded appreciatively.

"I could get used to that. I'll think of one for you too!" He said brightly.

"No need, just call me _The Queen of Awesomeness_ or _Intellectual Badass_ or _The Fantastic Cancer Fighting Machine_!" Annabeth joked and Percy snorted.

"Humble much?" He asked her and Annabeth grinned back at him.

"Well if those don't work, it had better be something flattering." She demanded and Percy looked at her in thought.

Then his lips curved upwards in a crooked smile. "Wise Girl." He said simply and Annabeth knew in her bones that he had gotten it right.

"Is that the best Captain Nihilist can do?" She teased him.

"Hey! It's the best I could do on short notice, but I do very much like the nickname Captain Nihilist. Sounds like I'm a superhero that fights crime with a Nietzschean philosophy." He said thoughtfully.

Annabeth snorted. "Then you would never save anyone - you would say that they would just be better off dead." Annabeth explained.

Percy grinned at her again. "Yeah you're right." He relented.

"Of course I am! I am a Wise Girl, remember?" Annabeth said proudly.

"So you _do_ like it!" Percy said, his smile widening.

Annabeth blushed for some unknown reason. "Fine, I surrender - It's perfect." She said wearily.

"Awesomesauce." Percy said and Annabeth laughed.

"Come on, we should probably get out of here before they lock the doors." Annabeth said to him and he nodded.

Once they got their things, the walked out of the school still deep in conversation. Annabeth was starting to like Percy a lot - he was different than anyone else she had ever met. He was intellectually stimulating, endearingly clumsy, and had an oblivious innocence about him that made him instantly likable. She wondered why he was never like this at school - he could easily be just as popular as she was. It was practically impossible to dislike him, once you got over his bitterness and snarky comments.

"What are you thinking about?" Percy asked her.

Annabeth sighed. "You know, it's kind of hard not to like you when you're such a cool person to hang out with." She said.

"Why would you want to dislike me?" Percy questioned and Annabeth shrugged.

"I don't know - you're kind of rude, snarky, and you have some personal vendetta against me, so it's kind of hard to accept you being this nice to me all of a sudden." Annabeth said.

Percy faced forward and Annabeth could see his face darken. "You honestly don't remember, huh?" He whispered, almost so quietly she couldn't hear.

"Remember what?" Annabeth asked him.

Percy stayed silent for a little while longer before answering. "It's nothing." He said unconvincingly and Annabeth wondered what he was hiding.

"Why can't you tell me?" Annabeth argued.

"Because you wouldn't like what I had to say." Percy said simply and Annabeth felt awkward.

"Did I do something awful to you?" She whispered.

She had hurt so many people inadvertently, just trying to keep up her popular persona that she couldn't remember what she had done to each of them. Annabeth hated that she had hurt people, but she never suspected that she had hurt Percy.

"Yes. Yes, you did." Percy answered curtly and Annabeth felt even guiltier than she already did.

"Would it help if I say that I'm sorry?" Annabeth questioned and Percy turned to her, wearing a wry smile.

"It can't hurt your chances." He whispered back.

"I'm sorry, and I truly mean it. Sometimes, I just get so wrapped up trying to maintain an image here at school that I forget who I really am." Annabeth confessed and Percy looked forwards.

"Apology accepted, but I still can't forgive you Annabeth. Who knows, maybe time will change that." Percy said lightly and Annabeth found his hand and took it in her own.

"I'll do my best with what little I have left to do just that." Annabeth whispered before kissing his knuckles.

Percy looked at her in surprise, but then relaxed into a smile.

"I should go. See you later Annabeth, and just remember - if you need anyone to talk to, I'm always available." Percy said and Annabeth nodded.

He smiled at her one last time before walking away, leaving Annabeth in the school parking lot.

Before she lost her nerve, she called out to him. "Are you free tomorrow?" She called and Percy turned around.

"Of course!" He called back.

"Wanna meet back here, and we can maybe go do something?" She asked him and he grinned.

"Definitely." He said before waving goodbye.

"See you tomorrow!" Annabeth called back, waving as well.

Annabeth drove home and by the time that she had gotten back, it was nearly 7. She and Percy had talked for almost two hours. Ignoring her brothers and her father, she walked straight into her room. She pulled out the paper from the drawing room and tacked it to her bedroom wall.

Then she looked around for her silver sharpie to make some more additions.

_8. Find out what I did to make Percy hate me._

_9. Start being myself at school, and remove the mask I wear_

_10. Spend more time with my closest friends and my family_

_11. Confront my mother about her relationship with me_

_12. Write letters to everyone of my closest friends and family_

There was only one last thing she had left to write, but she was too scared to do so. Then she realized that she didn't have a whole lot of time left, so it was better to just go for it.

_13. Make Percy Jackson fall in love with me. _


	6. Choices

**Choices**

When Annabeth woke up at - you guessed it - 5:20 on Monday morning, her head was buzzing. She had had an absolutely wonderful weekend spending time with Percy and getting into trouble. Percy was such an easy going guy once she got to know him better, and she felt at ease around him despite having hated him prior to that. They got along famously as though they had known each other forever.

Annabeth zoomed past her morning routine and finally hopped in her car. As she drove, she thought about how school was going to play out. Was she going to continue wearing her mask or was she going to shed it once and for all? More importantly, would she be friends with Percy in school for everyone to see? This dilemma soured Annabeth's mood and even once she made it to school, she sat in her car deep in thought.

She definitely owed Percy, but more than that she just really enjoyed spending time with him. It was not at all fair to him if she just treated him like scum in school. Annabeth didn't want him to think that she was only using him to feel better - she genuinely liked him and she didn't want to ruin their newfound friendship.

Despite all these thoughts, Annabeth just couldn't come to terms with throwing away her image. She had worked so hard to maintain it and achieve a proper social status, the last thing she wanted was to become an outcast while she was dying.

Annabeth shook her head and stepped out of her car feeling happy again that she would be seeing him soon, but still confused. She walked in to find Percy sitting alone in the empty hallway. Inadvertently, she began smiling inanely as she walked towards him.

"Hey Seaweed Brain!" Annabeth called out to him brightly.

Percy looked at her groggily, his hair even more disheveled than usual. "Wise Girl." Percy croaked languidly.

Annabeth frowned and her brow furrowed at the sight of him. "Oh my gosh Percy, what happened?" She demanded.

"Nothing. You're really loud." He mumbled hoarsely.

Percy looked like a gorilla had decided to teach him how to box. Annabeth extended her arm towards him and he looked at it warily before taking it. Annabeth pulled him up and was surprised by how light he was. He didn't look like he ate much - in fact, Annabeth had never really seen him with food before. She assumed that Nico or Grover must share with him or something because he usually just read through lunch.

"Percy, did you have breakfast?" Annabeth asked him, her voice laced with concern.

He shook his head no and Annabeth sighed. "Seaweed Brain, you gotta eat some food. Here, I have some." She said as she began fishing around in her bag.

Percy protested weakly as she thrust a granola bar under his nose and wagged it around. "Really, Annabeth I'm fine - I can't take your food. I'm used to being hungry." He said.

"What do you mean?" Annabeth asked him curiously.

Percy snorted. "Annabeth, don't know if you've noticed, but I'm the poorest kid in school. I'm used to going without food, heating, and new clothes." He explained.

Annabeth had always assumed that Percy was poor, but she never suspected that he was _this_ poor. "Then you're definitely eating this. To hell with it, I'm buying you lunch today and I'm not taking no for an answer. You're not going hungry anymore." She said firmly.

Percy's sea green eyes locked with hers and they were filled with unbearable humiliation and sorrow. "I can take care of myself. I don't need your pity." He said firmly, but his voice quivered dangerously.

"Helping a friend isn't pity." Annabeth said gently and Percy looked away from her, his posture reflecting defeat.

"Please, eat, for me." Annabeth pled softly.

He turned around to face her and weakly accepted the granola bar as Annabeth looked at him expectantly. He hesitantly unwrapped the bar and stared at it. His eyes flicked up to her as if asking for permission and Annabeth nodded wordlessly. Percy's eyes dropped back down to the granola bar and he slowly took a bite out of it, chewing thoughtfully.

After swallowing, he looked at the bar with a look of embarrassment on his face. "Thanks." He said softly.

"No problem, that's what friends are for, right?" She asked him.

"Friends." Percy said to himself, savoring the word as it rolled off his tongue.

"Is that what we are now?" Percy asked, addressing her now.

Annabeth nodded without hesitation and for the first time, Annabeth truly saw Percy smile. His eyes crinkled and he just emanated a sense of happiness and warmth that made Annabeth feel all cozy and wonderful inside.

"Thanks." He said again, even more softly, as though it was a special secret that only Annabeth was privy to.

"No need to thank me." Annabeth said just as softly.

The both of them locked eyes and Annabeth had to consciously remind herself that she had a boyfriend to avoid kissing him. Percy was driving her insane - he was all that she thought about, and it confused her to no end. He wasn't popular, he wasn't particularly attractive, and he was incredibly sarcastic and dark, but he was _real_ and that made him special.

Percy answered to no one but himself - he was his own man, liberated from the artificial standards that bound Annabeth and just about everyone else that she knew. The fact that he had nothing to lose made his personality shine through and he didn't fear anything.

Still, she found herself leaning towards him with her eyes closed and lips parted. She was thoroughly confused when Percy's hand gently rested on her shoulder, stopping her. When she opened her eyes she found Percy staring at her emotionlessly, still in the same spot. Annabeth couldn't help but feel hurt that he hadn't even leaned in to kiss her.

"You have a boyfriend and I'm as fucked up as people get. Don't do something you're going to regret." Percy said gently.

Annabeth felt a sense of irritation run through her. "You don't find me attractive." She said angrily.

Percy turned his head to the side for a second and whispered so quietly that Annabeth almost didn't hear him. "I don't find anyone attractive."

Shame, guilt, anger, and hurt all welled up in her stomach. "I knew it - I knew that you were just a snarky bastard that didn't care about me. You were probably just being nice to mess with me, right? To torture me as I slowly died, right? I can't believe I trusted you enough to tell you about my condition and that you are still heartless enough to still act like this after you knew. I thought you had changed. My mistake." Annabeth said venomously, turning around to leave.

Percy's hand held her back and spun her around. Annabeth angrily brushed his hand away, but she stood riveted to the spot as she looked into his eyes again, the green swirling like whirlpools.

"Annabeth, let me explain; I'm an aromantic." He said.

"What the hell does that mean?" Annabeth demanded, still feeling upset.

Percy sighed deeply before beginning. "It means that I have a lack of romantic attraction. Physical attraction means nothing to me because I am just biologically wired that way. It's confusing, but the bottom line is that I don't find people beautiful and well for lack of a better word, I don't get aroused. Sexually I am like completely dead - I don't understand things that normal boys get off on and stuff." He explained and Annabeth felt her hurt wash away only to be replaced with sadness.

"So you mean that you actually can't fall in love with anyone." Annabeth asked.

"Yeah, I just can't. Please don't take it personally, it's just the way I am, but don't feel bad for me - I've come to terms with it. Things are easier this way; I don't have to ever worry about heartache now." He said wryly.

Annabeth shifted uncomfortably, now feeling bad about lashing out at him. She wished she could help him somehow, but she didn't know how.

"Well have you ever kissed a girl?" Annabeth asked him.

"What?" Percy asked in confusion.

"Have you ever kissed a girl?" Annabeth repeated.

"I don't see how that has to do with anything." Percy said, still thoroughly confused.

"Just answer the question." Annabeth said firmly.

Percy looked around in embarrassment and Annabeth thought it was adorable when blush crept into his pale cheeks. "No. There you happy?" Percy mumbled.

"Well if you've never kissed a girl, how do you know for sure?" She asked him.

Percy frowned as if he was deep in thought. "Other things tell me that I'm right Annabeth. I don't need to kiss a girl to find out." He said after a while.

"Fine, but I think that this isn't permanent. Maybe you just haven't met the right girl yet." Annabeth pressed.

His posture softened as he answered, and his eyes glazed over slightly. "Yeah, maybe." He said softly.

Annabeth affectionately ruffled his hair and Percy snapped out of it and frowned at her, causing Annabeth to laugh.

That's when students began milling into the school, so Annabeth quickly decided to leave before anyone saw them. "I gotta go, see you at lunch Percy." She called out as she quickly sped away, leaving Percy alone and confused.

In class, Annabeth constantly thought about Percy and what she was going to do. Would she ever be able to show the school that they were friends? What would her friends think? Then Annabeth had a brilliant idea: Why not ask them?

She leaned over to Rachel during Physics class as the teacher droned on about diffraction gratings.

"Hey Rach, can I ask you a question?" Annabeth whispered.

Rachel looked at Annabeth with a startled expression, never having seen her talking during a lesson before. "Yeah sure, what is it?" She asked in concern.

"What do you think about Percy?" Annabeth asked.

"Percy Jackson?"

"Yeah him."

"What about him?"

"What do you think about him?" Annabeth repeated.

"Umm, well he's a freak and a retard. He doesn't have any friends and he looks really depressed all the time." Rachel responded.

For some reason, Annabeth felt a weird feeling in her stomach as Rachel spoke, and she was getting angry but she didn't know why.

"You don't even know him! How can you judge him?" Annabeth hissed.

"Why do you care?" Rachel retorted.

Annabeth stammered for a response. "I'm just curious, okay?" Annabeth mumbled.

"Ms. Dare, Ms. Chase, would you be so kind as to allow me to interrupt your _sparkling_ conversation so that you can answer the problem up on the board?" Mr. Garrows demanded, the tone of his voice reflecting annoyance.

"D=13.4 cm, sir." Annabeth piped up and Mr. Garrows looked at her wearily before resuming his teaching.

Annabeth made no attempt to talk to Rachel for the rest of the class period.

Once she made it to lunch, she promptly went to the lunch line even though she had brought her own lunch. She promised to buy Percy lunch and she was sticking to her promise.

She returned with a tray full of food about five minutes later and she craned her head trying to find him amongst the sea of students. Then she saw Silena and Rachel standing next to Percy, doing something to him as he tried to read his book. Annabeth walked forward hesitantly, wondering what her friends were doing to him.

The sight she saw threatened to unhinge her. Silena and Rachel were writing "Nothing" on Percy's face in lipstick while he sat impassively, trying to read, but the look in his eyes made Annabeth realize how ashamed he really was. Fury boiled throughout her stomach and she stalked over to her friends, but before she could reach the lunch table, Percy locked eyes with her causing her to stop where she stood.

Ever so slightly, he shook his head, telling her to go away. Annabeth looked at him helplessly as her friends continued to giggle and write on him. The humiliation in his eyes was heart wrenching to her and she wanted to help him so badly, but she couldn't for some reason. Maybe it was because they were her friends and she was shocked to see them doing this or maybe it was because she was worried people would find out about her friendship with Percy if she defended him or maybe it was because Percy had asked her to go away.

_Go, please. _Percy mouthed to her and Annabeth stood dumbly, still holding his tray.

Then she wordlessly left the tray on an empty table and left to find her table. As she walked, disgust and self loathing churned in her stomach in a nauseating mixture.

_Nothing. _Annabeth thought to herself, feeling even more guilty.

It was the nickname that Annabeth had given Percy before she knew him, and she had almost forgotten she had come up with it. When her friends were making fun of students her freshman year, they gave each of them horrible nicknames. Their discussions almost always featured Percy, but none of them could come up with a nickname when Annabeth had gotten the brilliant idea to name him "Nothing".

_It's perfect because he's a nobody and he will never amount to anything! _

Those were the words Annabeth had used to justify the nickname. It caught on like wild fire and she was pleased with herself at the time, but now it only inspired feelings of self-loathing of the highest degree. Annabeth wanted to curl up into a little hole and die. For the rest of the day she sat passively through her classes, not speaking a word to her friends.

After school ended, Annabeth got her things and tried to find Percy. As she passed the cafeteria on her way, she noticed that the lunch she bought for Percy was left untouched which just made her feel even worse. She waited at the front entrance for him for thirty minutes after everyone else had left, but he was nowhere to be found.

_Maybe he left early or something... _Annabeth thought to herself.

She was about to leave when a lone figure limped through the hallway, holding an arm full of books. Annabeth knew it was Percy the second she saw him and she raced over to him, each foot fall resounding in the empty hallway. Percy's raven colored hair shrouded his face, making him look ominous.

Percy didn't look up as she came towards him and Annabeth tried not to feel hurt. After all, in a sick way this was all actually her fault. She had no excuse for not helping him; she should have. Percy kept walking as Annabeth tried to keep up with him.

"Percy! Oh my gosh, are you alright?" She asked in concern.

"I'm fine. Now would you please leave me alone?" He asked flatly.

"Percy, I'm sorry." Annabeth said, her voice growing soft.

Percy didn't look up and only continued walking. "No you're not. Now go away, _please_." He said hoarsely.

Annabeth instinctively put her hand on his shoulder to make him stop and his hair shifted ever so slightly so that she could see his face. She gasped when she saw cuts and bruises on his face.

"Percy, who did this to you?" She demanded.

"You don't want to know. Now for the last time: Leave. Me. Alone." He said through gritted teeth.

"I'm trying to help!" Annabeth protested.

Percy's head whipped up and he looked at her for the first time. "Oh yeah, just like during lunch today right?" He spat out venomously.

Annabeth recoiled slightly, not expecting this sudden change in conversation. He shrugged her hand off his shoulder and continued to limp away. Once she recovered, Annabeth ran after him.

"Percy wait! I'm sorry!" Annabeth called after him.

When Percy turned around she saw just how much rage and shame his eyes held. The pleasant sea green was replaced by a green so dark it could have been black, and the colors swirled like tempests brewing on a stormy sea.

"Stop lying to me! I know that you don't give a damn about me, so cut the act - it makes you look bad. I'm not just some toy for you to use at your will. You can't just expect me to be there for your pity parties and then discard me at the first sign of trouble. You don't want to be friends; you're just using me and I was so stupid for thinking anything different." Percy snapped at her.

Annabeth racked her brain for an appropriate response, but found none.

"I _do_ want to be friends, please believe me. You told me not to interfere at lunch so I left because I thought you could handle it." Annabeth said weakly.

"Did it ever occur to you, in that oh-so-perfect brain of yours, that I might have been too ashamed to ask for your help? Did it ever occur to you that I didn't want you to see me like that: utterly and completely humiliated without a shred of my dignity remaining?" He retorted.

"You're a monster, just like the rest of them. I thought you were different, I hoped that you were. The girl I meet in the abandoned architecture sure put on one hell of an act if this was what she was really like. You once told me that you just wore that mask to school, but you know what I think? I think that's your real face, and that the girl that I befriended was the lie - not the other way around. Get back to me once you find her because she's nowhere to be found!" Percy continued.

Annabeth stood there dumbly as Percy's words washed over her, knocking down all of her cleverly erected walls. He saw through her charades for what she really was: an insecure, malicious, and fake girl that manipulated those around her for her own gain.

"That's not me! Percy, please wait! I'm so sorry!" Annabeth called after him as he quickly walked away.

"Why do you call me that? Why don't you call me "Nothing" just like the rest of your chums, huh? After all, you are the one that came up with that delightful sobriquet, so stay the hell away from me." Percy called back.

Annabeth wanted to scream in frustration and the self-loathing boiling in her stomach made her feel physically weak. She ran to her car and drove off to find Percy, but he was already gone. Annabeth repeatedly hit her steering wheel in helplessness.

She didn't want to lose Percy. He was the only one that knew about her. He was the only that made her feel alive and distracted her from the knowledge of her illness. She _needed_ him.

That thought stopped Annabeth and disgusted her even more. Maybe Percy was right after all: What if all of Annabeth's friends were just pawns for her? Luke was a pawn for social status. Silena, Rachel, Thalia and Katie were her friends though, but sometimes, Annabeth couldn't stand them either. What if everyone was just there for her benefit? The only person she truly liked being around was Malcolm, and now maybe Percy.

As she drove home, Annabeth thought more and more about this and only grew more revolted. She wanted to throw up, but that might have been the cancer speaking. That night when she looked at her list, she realized that number 13 was no longer possible for two reasons. 1. She had just completely pissed Percy off, and 2. Percy was an aromantic anyways.

She groaned as she smothered her head into her pillow, racking her brain for ways to apologize to Percy, but she couldn't deny the elephant in the room. It was now or never, she was going to have to choose: her status or the only one who cared about her...

* * *

**A/N: Hello everyone! I am sorry for updating so late - I've been incredibly busy. Thanks for being patient and more importantly for all the reviews I got last chapter. I confess, last chapter was sloppy, so hopefully this made up for it! Things kind of moved quickly between Annabeth and Percy - one second they hated each other, the next second they were great friends. However, I feel like that's how they've always been. I know Annabeth's attraction to Percy seems really sudden, but I hope this chapter explains that. If you didn't catch on, Percy was drunk in the morning, but his facial cuts and bruises are open for interpretation. Also, being an aromantic is a real sexual orientation for those that are curious. As always I hope you enjoyed the chapter and Follow, Favorite, and Review!**


	7. Intoxicated

**Intoxicated**

Percy ran into the empty, abandoned building that was his home and shut the ancient door behind him with a slam. His mind was seized with fury; horrible, uncontrolled fury that seared through his bones like hot lead. With a scream he punched the decaying wall, tearing a hole through the plaster. He didn't let his tears fall even though they pooled dangerously in his eyes.

_How could I have been so stupid? _Percy thought to himself as he repeatedly punched more holes.

Deep down inside, he had hoped that she would have changed. He had held onto the irrational belief that Annabeth was someone different or at least that she had the capacity to be someone different. Of course, she had let him down and she had done so catastrophically. For once, Percy felt like he could open up to someone and he had changed slightly for those few days that he had spent with her. He hadn't drunk for the balance of the weekend which was a milestone for him, and he hadn't thought once about cutting.

With a start, Percy's feet began moving of their own accord and he stood in his bathroom, reaching for the razor. He turned it twice in hands as he stared into his dead sea green eyes.

_Time to pay for your mistakes, you stupid son of a bitch. _Percy thought to himself as the razor blade began its descent to the exposed skin of his right arm.

_Nothing. You're nothing and you will never amount to anything. You're a waste of oxygen and everyday that you remain alive is just another punishment. You're worthless. You're worthless. You're worthless. Just die already. Please, just die. _Percy chanted to himself as his mind went blank while the razor began cutting into his soft, pale flesh.

Percy couldn't even feel the blood coursing down the length of his arm and the pain was hardly registered. A new word joined the collection of his other ones: _Nothing. _

He was so wrong - How could he think that Annabeth was actually willing to be his friend? Why would she throw away her social status for a worthless kid like him? Why in the world had he found it so easy to forgive for all the awful things that she had done to him?

Today had been a harsh dose of reality, a reminder that things were never going to go well for him. That was a good thing too - he could go back to treating Annabeth the way that she deserved to be treated: like scum. She had always been a self-centered, conniving, manipulative, dastardly, malicious girl, but this was a new low for her - something that could never be topped. First she staged some grand act that she had cancer and that she was sorry and that she would change. Then she wormed her way into his heart and became somebody that he could trust, someone _he_ could call "friend". He hadn't known her for long, but he felt like he could trust her and he had never so spectacularly wrong about anything in his life. Just when he thought things were finally going up, she pulled a stunt like this on him. Hell, she probably told Silena and Rachel to do that.

_Wouldn't surprise me one bit if she did. _Percy thought to himself as he washed his arm.

Defeatedly, he walked back into his room and slumped up against the wall and stared at the sky. The cracks in the ceiling made it easy to see the stars in the night sky. Looking up, he thought about how insignificant he was in terms of the cosmos and how meaningless the whole thing was - his life, his problems, and most of all, the goddamn world.

Suddenly, Percy began feeling anger, only a much larger scale than before. If we were here on this stupid planet we called Earth, then what smart ass decided that everyone needed to suffer? What asshole had the gall to impose universal misery on every living thing that had ever existed? What was the point of it all? Why couldn't we just be happy and show compassion towards one another? Was that too much to ask? What was the utility in cruelty, deception, or manipulation? In the end, all it amounted to was individuals seeking to somehow further themselves, but that was so trite and so ridiculous - those people had no idea what they were doing to those around them.

Percy then thought about the question that bugged him the most in his life: Is there such a thing as justice? After all, even if one assumes that suffering is meaningless and that it doesn't need a point, shouldn't it follow to have _some_ degree of reciprocity? Life just couldn't be one continual stream of endless suffering. There _just_ had to be some good in this world, there just had to. If so, then where was it?

"Where is my justice!? When do I get to be happy!?"Percy screamed into the apartment.

His response was only met with silence and Percy knew at that moment, more so than before, that there was no such thing as justice. It was just some grand, fanciful, noble sentiment that did not work in the real world. Justice was just something that we had invented to help ourselves cope with the infinite suffering that we called life. It was a fool's errand - nothing more.

Percy groaned and put a hand to his head. He was already starting to feel the effects of withdrawal. He needed a drink and he needed one now. Quickly, he sprung to his feet and grabbed his sweatshirt, slipping it on as he ran down the musty stairs.

He ran to the super market he always visited and found his friend Johnnie sitting innocently behind a glass door. He opened the door and took the bottle with trembling fingers. Without bothering to cover for himself, Percy ran out of the market as the pudgy clerk chased after him, huffing and shouting. Percy felt a sense of childhood innocence claim him as he ran, and despite his circumstances he laughed and stuck his tongue out at the clerk.

Once he was a safe distance away from the super market, Percy bent over and held his knees as he recovered his breath. Again, Percy found himself laughing uncontrollably for no apparent reason. With a twist of his wrist, the top came off and Percy took a long draught of the smoky liquid. Percy straightened himself and wiped his lips. He praised himself for having the foresight to steal an extra large bottle.

Feeling bold, he decided to wander the streets of New York City during the night. Bottle in hand, he began to walk down the dark street, humming to himself. Twenty minutes later, he had walked somewhere and he had no idea where the hell he was. He wasn't sure if that was just because he was drunk off his rocker or because he was legitimately lost.

Percy began to giggle uncontrollably as he wiggled his toes which poked out of his fraying sneakers.

"Hey there little buddy!" He squealed to himself.

He wiggled his little toes and burst out in riotous laughter. Percy laughed so hard, he clutched his stomach as tears streamed down his face.

"Percy? Is that you?" He heard a voice ask.

Percy looked around in confusion and saw a silver Mercedes Benz and none other than Annabeth Freaking Chase looking at him from the driver's seat in concern. He shook his head to make sure wasn't imagining things. Then deciding that wasn't enough, he pinched himself and sure enough the pain registered so he knew this was real.

"Annabeth! What're you doing here? Are you going to rip my heart out and step on it some more?" He called out before bursting into uncontrollable laughter again.

He missed the look of guilt and pain on Annabeth's face as she watched him.

"Are you... Are you drunk?" Annabeth's concerned voice rang out again.

Percy considered the question for a moment before shaking his defiantly. "Absholuthly noth" Percy said, his words slurring together.

The door opened and Annabeth stepped out, pocketing her keys as she made her way towards him. She put a steadying hand on his shoulder and Percy violently swatted it away.

"Don't. Touch. Me." He said through gritted teeth and again he missed the look of hurt that crossed her face.

"Percy, I need to get you home. Come on." Annabeth whispered soothingly, tugging on his arm.

"But I don't wanna go home!" Percy whined like a toddler and Annabeth took a calming breath.

"I'm driving you home right now." She said defiantly, abandoning the persuasive approach.

Percy appraised her for a second and Annabeth was shocked to see how his usually sharp and perceptive green eyes were clouded over in some sort of haze. She knew that he was shutting out the world around him because it was too painful for him to handle. Annabeth felt guilty knowing that she was the cause of all this. If she had only had the courage to defend him, then he would not be in this mess.

Finally, Percy seemed to decide to follow her, but after his first step he stumbled and fell down. He began to laugh uncontrollably again after he collided with the pavement as though it had told him the world's funniest joke.

Annabeth looked at him in complete and utter confusion - she had no idea what to do. She couldn't wrap her mind around this Percy and the Percy that she knew. The kid in front of her now was so hopelessly confused whereas _her_ Percy always seemed to have clarity.

"Hey, hey Annabeth watch this!" Percy said from the ground.

Annabeth looked at him in concern and then out of nowhere he started to crack up again. When he noticed her look of confusion, he gestured towards his toes which were wiggling. Despite the circumstances, Annabeth grinned at the ridiculousness of what was going on.

"Isn't it funny how my toes look like little... thingies that wiggle?" Percy asked her.

"Yes, yes, it's very funny but we need to be getting you home now." She said and Percy nodded.

He let himself get dragged by her to her car. He sat shotgun and propped his feet on the dashboard as he leaned back in his chair, arms clasped behind the back of his head.

Annabeth started the car and began driving which resulted in an awkward silence. She was deep in thought so she didn't really notice. That night, she had sneaked out of her house to go and see Percy in order to apologize. The problem was that she didn't have any idea where he lived. When she asked once before all he said was, "Downtown" with a sense of finality that closed all lines of further inquiry.

"Umm, listen Percy, I just wanted to apologize for everything that happened today." Annabeth started before Percy cut her off.

"Call me nothing." He interjected emotionlessly. Annabeth stole a nervous glance at him and noticed not a drop of humor was present in his tone. She drummed her fingers against the steering wheel feeling incredibly guilty and uncomfortable.

"I am so sorry - What I did was terrible and I know you'll never forgive me for making up that nickname." Annabeth said and she looked at him expectantly so that he would say something, but he remained stoically taciturn.

Annabeth spoke again, feeling more comfortable for some reason. "I know that I'm a horrible person and you were completely right, I am the mask that I wear. However, I want to change, but I need you to help me." Annabeth confessed.

Once again, she was met with silence. She didn't know whether to feel frustrated or relieved that he wasn't making any snide remarks.

"Anyway, I just wanted you to know and I truly am sorry. Can we please be friends again?" She asked him nervously. This struck her as strange since she could talk to anyone in school with poise and arrogance, but here she was now, pleading for the most unpopular boy in school to be her friend.

Percy began to sing to himself. "Annabeth, Annabeth, Annie Annie Annie Beth."

Again Annabeth smiled to herself. Percy's voice had lilting cadence to it and it was pleasant to hear.

Percy tapped her shoulder and she turned to be met by his index finger, pressed right against her nose. Her eyes crossed slightly and then he withdrew the finger slightly, and began to curl it.

"Gee Percy, should we give mean old Annabeth another chance?" He asked in a high pitched voice.

Then he reverted back to his original voice. "I don't know - mean old Annabeth was definitely very mean today." He said thoughtfully to his finger.

"But Percy, Annabeth is really sorry. Right?" His finger asked her and Annabeth shook her head vigorously in affirmation.

"I don't know... She's still done some pretty awful things to us before." He said and Annabeth felt an uneasy churning sensation in her stomach.

"Yeah remember the time that she made fun of you about your-" The finger curled before Percy pressed it to his lips.

"Shh, that's a secret! She can't know! Besides, if I think about that, I'll start crying again and I'll feel really sad." He whispered to his finger, now wagging it back and forth.

Annabeth felt so awful and miserable about what he just said that she wanted to throw herself off a high building.

"But look at Annabeth right now, she wouldn't do that to us again. Would she?" The finger asked and again Annabeth shook her head vigorously in agreement.

Percy looked to himself thoughtfully. "Well, maybe..." He trailed off.

Annabeth took a hold of Percy's index finger and curled it for him, mimicking a falsetto as well. "But Percy, Annabeth's really sorry and worried about you. She snuck out of her house to come find you, so she cares about you." Annabeth said and Percy looked at her with a ghost of a grin on his face.

"And she looks really pretty tonight, so you should cut her some slack." Annabeth added and Percy laughed, not his drunk insane laugh, but his wonderful heartwarming laugh that Annabeth could listen to for hours.

"Fine, fine - I relent. Percy would very much like to be Annabeth's friend again." Percy said with a smirk and Annabeth felt her heart do a somersault in happiness.

"But if she ever hurts him again, Percy will never forgive Annabeth." He said with a serious whisper and Annabeth paled slightly.

Then without another word, he turned on his shoulder and stared out the window as Annabeth drove uneasily, Percy's words hanging in her mind like an ominous warning.

Percy began to wiggle his toes on the dashboard while singing his Annabeth song which left Annabeth wondering what parts of what he said were real and what parts were just the alcohol speaking. Five minutes later, Annabeth cleared her throat trying to get Percy's attention.

"Annabanana, Ann Ann Banana, Annabanana, Ann Ann Banana!" Percy sang and Annabeth tried again to get his attention.

"Percy!" She said forcefully and he finally stopped.

"Yes Annabanana?" He asked innocently and she rolled her eyes.

"Where's your home?" She asked him.

A dark looked crossed Percy's face before he answered, and when he did, he sounded completely sober. "I don't have a home." He said simply before suddenly falling asleep, passed out from exhaustion.

Annabeth looked at his sleeping form in a moment of panic and indecision. She finally decided to that she would just take him to her house and let him stay for the night. It might take some convincing regarding her parents, but she would do what she had to in order to win him back.

At around midnight, Annabeth finally rolled into her driveway. She went around and propped Percy on her back and carried him. He was surprisingly light and Annabeth was stronger than she looked so it wasn't too difficult for her. She made it into her room and let him onto her mattress. Percy sank into the springy cushioning almost immediately and his fingers curled around the blankets.

Annabeth watched him with a smile as an innocent smile crossed his face and as he sighed in contentment. It occurred to her that if her parents walked in right then, it would have been a difficult situation to explain. There was a drunk teenage boy sleeping on her bed. However, she was convinced her parents would be fine with it once she told them he was her friend.

As she watched his sleeping form, Annabeth was tempted for a brief moment to crawl into the bed with him and to just lay there beside him, but then she shook the absurd thought out of her head. Percy flipped over onto his back and his ratty long sleeve shirt rolled back so that Annabeth could make out something red against his pale skin.

Curious, she walked over to him and carefully rolled down his shirt sleeves thoroughly unprepared for the sight she was about to see.

_Nothing._

* * *

**A/N: Ahh, cliffhanger! Haha, anyhow I hope you enjoyed the chapter even if it was kind of depressing. Most of it was just philosophical ramblings on my end, but whatever, it's hopefully interesting to read/think about. I like writing dialogue on Drunk Percy's end - he's hilarious, or is that just me? Anyhow, I hope you enjoyed and like always: Follow, Favorite, and Review!**

**Side Note: A good friend of mine recently published his first story on Fanfiction and I would really appreciate it if you checked his story out! It's called "Iron and Wine" and it's a Leo/Piper romance with a quest centered on recovering Jason after he gets kidnapped. I know it would mean a lot to him if you gave it a read. He's an amazing author and if you like my stuff, you'll love him. Search him by his author name: TheInfiniteParadox and you should find him. **


	8. Awake

**Check out the sneak peak of the next chapter in the Author Note!**

**Awake**

_Nothing._

Annabeth gaped at the bloody word that was carved against the pale, soft flesh of Percy's arm. She didn't know what to make of it. Surely he hadn't been cutting - he _can't_ have been. However, no matter how much she wanted to deny it, there the words were, staring her right in the face. With trembling hands, she grazed her fingers over them and froze as Percy shivered in his drunken sleep. As she rolled back his sleeves, she found herself praying that she wasn't going to see anything else.

She was wrong.

_Whore. Worthless. Hate. Bastard. Retard. Nobody. Alone. Unloved. Weak._

She couldn't understand what compelled him to do this and she didn't understand how a couple of those words even applied to Percy. It logically didn't make sense for him to call himself a whore or a bastard, but she could perceive how the other words might relate to him.

Percy had always been so strong, so independent, and so aloof. How could he, of all people, secretly loathe himself to such an extent where self harm was even considered? Why would he do this to himself? Did anyone know about this or was this a secret? Annabeth felt like she knew the answer to that question - he definitely wouldn't have told anyone.

Suddenly, Annabeth began to feel very angry and helpless. What horrible person could have driven him to do this to himself? Why would anyone hurt someone as nice as Percy? Sure he was snarky, but that was _his_ facade to prevent himself from getting hurt. He certainly didn't deserve this pain - he deserved so much more; more than she did at least.

Then a thought wormed its way into her mind, and she paled and trembled. The most recent word looked fresh, as though it could have been cut today...

_Oh god no. _Annabeth thought in despair.

It was all her fault. It was all her stupid fault. He had cut because of her - she was sure of it. She had done this to him and she could have stopped it so easily. All she had to do was defend him. If she had just told her friends to knock it off or told them it wasn't funny, they wouldn't have known that she was even friends with him - that was just something that normal human beings did for each other. However, Annabeth wasn't a normal being; she was scum. She didn't even deserve to stand in Percy's presence.

Annabeth knelt on the carpet in front of her bed and watched Percy sleep peacefully, completely oblivious to the massive emotional upheaval she was suffering through. That was good. He didn't need to see it because it was all her fault - she couldn't trouble him with _her_ mistake.

A film of tears pooled into her eyes and stung unbearably. A choked sound made it's way through the back of her throat, but it came out more like a strangled growl than a cry. Annabeth hastily wiped her eyes dry with the sleeve of her sweatshirt. She didn't have any right to cry.

Despite the lateness of the hour, Annabeth couldn't fall asleep as guilt bit away at her, like a corrosive acid slowly digesting her heart. Instead, she continued to kneel and watch Percy even though her legs pled for comfort, but she would not yield. She forced herself to suffer for her mistakes. A part of her thought that it was very creepy that she was watching her new friend sleep, but for some reason it felt natural almost. As if such a thing was even possible.

Just as Annabeth was starting to nod off at around three in the morning, Percy began to jerk violently in his sleep. Annabeth's head snapped up and she suddenly felt incredibly alert. She sped over to Percy and gazed at him in horror. His eyes were shut tightly as tears streamed down in rivers and his hands desperately groped, trying to find purchase against the sheets.

"Percy! Percy, please wake up!" Annabeth cried out, no longer caring if her parents heard - all she wanted was to help Percy.

Percy squirmed and jerked like he was being shot with volts of electricity and beads of sweat began to roll down his forehead, his skin growing increasingly paler. Without warning, Percy let out a blood curdling scream filled with such pain and agony it made Annabeth's blood run cold.

"Percy! Please! Wake up, dammit!" Annabeth pled, her voice growing hysterical. It was a wonder her parents hadn't barged into her room yet to find out what in the world was going on.

Annabeth grabbed Percy and shook him about to try to awaken him, but it didn't work. She bit her lip and looked at him before slapping him across the face. When Percy continued to shake violently, panic began to set in and Annabeth tried her hardest not to hyperventilate. She took several deep breaths before wrapping Percy in a hug, feeling him squirm in her arms.

"Shh, it's alright. I swear to god, I am so sorry - I've never been more sorry about anything in my life. Just please, please wake up, Seaweed Brain. Can you please do that for me? Just please wake up. I don't even care if you're angry with me or if you scream at me and hate me. All I want is for you to open your gorgeous sea green eyes." Annabeth rambled as her own tears began soaking Percy's ratty sweatshirt and her fingers combed through his raven hair. She stayed like that for a little while longer, whispering comforting nothings in his ears as he slowly began to calm down.

"Mom, I'm so sorry." Percy choked out and Annabeth's head perked up.

Her hand extend outwards and with the back of her finger, she gently stroked his tear stained cheek and gazed at him in sorrow.

Suddenly, Percy stopped and his eyes flew open, staring straight into Annabeth's. Annabeth was shocked to see how vulnerable he looked - his eyes were wide and filled with unspeakable horror. He looked like an overgrown baby, but Annabeth found nothing funny about the circumstance. His mouth opened and closed slightly as he gaped at her like she was some angel sent from heaven or a demon from hell. Annabeth preferred to think it was the first one.

"Annabeth?" He questioned, his voice trailing off. He sounded so small and infantile it broke Annabeth's heart.

She merely looked at him and nodded with a slight smile. Without warning, Percy flung himself into her arms and hugged her tightly, catching Annabeth by surprise.

He kept whispering fervently under his breath, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," as though it was some sort of prayer.

Annabeth quickly hugged him back but was thoroughly confused about what he was apologizing for. She didn't say anything though - she just closed her eyes and enjoyed the feel of Percy against her. It was like he was made to be there, like he was her other half, and together they made a whole that was infinitely greater than the sum of their individual parts.

_Oh god, why does this feel so right? So good? _Annabeth wondered before adding, _Shut up, brain. Don't spoil the happy mood. _

She didn't let herself dwell on the fact that she felt more at home in the arms of a boy she hated until recently than her own boyfriend's. It was strange, no doubt, but it was of little relevance.

"Why are you saying sorry? I'm the one that should be apologizing." Annabeth said soothingly and Percy broke away just as suddenly as he had hugged her. Annabeth regretted speaking at all and mentally chastised herself about her stupidity. She already missed the feeling of Percy in her arms and the way he smelled.

Percy looked down on his lap and his calm, collected persona resurfaced but Annabeth could see the strain on his face.

"You must think I'm a retard." He mumbled and Annabeth looked at him in worry. He had just come out of a night terror and he was worried that she would think he was weird? That made absolutely no sense to her, but she didn't vocalize.

"I don't think you're a retard - you're one of the smartest people I've ever met, and I'm not just saying that." Annabeth responded.

Percy didn't answer and instead merely looked down at his lap, determined not to meet her eyes.

"I'm sorry, Percy. I truly am. I screwed up big time, and even though we've only known each for only a couple days, our friendship is really special to me. You're the only person that I can trust with my... ailment. Look, I know I screwed up and I can understand why you're mad at me, but I swear that I won't ever hurt you again." Annabeth said earnestly.

A pair of luminescent sea green eyes flickered upwards and meet Annabeth's eyes. "Why would you sacrifice your social status for the likes of me? I mean come on, like you said, I'm nothing - are you really sure that you want me over things that are actually worthwhile?" Percy asked her, staring straight into her eyes, searching for truth.

"You _are_ worthwhile." Annabeth responded immediately. Percy continued to stare into her eyes with an objective yet piercing gaze.

"You haven't answered my first question." Percy responded.

Annabeth bit her lower lip and had to resist biting her nails nervously. What was she going to do? This was a critical moment that could either make or break their newfound friendship and she knew it.

"I'll let everyone know... I just need time." She said after a long while.

Percy wore a sad smile when he responded. "Ah, I see. So until then, I guess that this will have to continue." He said in understanding, but Annabeth could hear a sadness in his voice that made her squirm with guilt.

"It's not like that-" She began, but Percy cut her off.

"It's fine Annabeth - I'm used to being low on people's priority lists and we just became friends so I have no right to ask you to treat me specially." He said and Annabeth turned her head so that he wouldn't see her tears.

He wasn't trying to hurt her feelings, but he spoke with such brutal honesty that made it impossible for Annabeth to not feel guilt and regret.

"I guess I'll leave now. I'm sorry to have been such a burden." Percy said, oblivious to her suffering as he stood to leave.

Annabeth's head snapped up and Percy could see her tears running down her face. Instantly, he crouched down beside her and wrapped her in his arms even though he was thoroughly perplexed as to why she was crying.

Annabeth's hands scrunched up against Percy's sweatshirt and she chastised herself for being so weak. The lilting tap of Percy's finger on her chin forced her to look up into his eyes and again she felt that invisible spark course through her veins and her heart began to race.

"Don't cry," Percy whispered and Annabeth found herself nodding.

He gave her a lopsided grin and Annabeth felt her own face split into a smile in response. Then a thought popped into Annabeth's head and her mouth began speaking words before it even formed coherently in her mind.

"Will you go to Chemo with me? It's next week," she said and Percy nodded in affirmation.

"You might have to miss school. Is that fine?" Annabeth asked.

Percy snorted in response. "I'd much rather skip school and accompany you to chemo," he said and Annabeth smiled at him, but she felt even guiltier than she did before. She didn't deserve to be friends with Percy. How could he be so nice to her when he knew that she was treating him like he was second best? In that moment, she knew how great of a person he truly was.

Then Annabeth remembered the cuts on Percy's arm and she wondered if now was the right time to bring it up. She didn't want him to get angry that she had seen. Annabeth got the feeling that she had seen something she wasn't supposed to - something dark and intimate. Ultimately, she decided that she would ask him about it when he trusted her more. She couldn't do it now, not after the stunt she had pulled on him on the same day.

Still she couldn't stop herself from saying, "Percy, you know I'm always there for you if you need me right?"

He studied her intently, and Annabeth hoped that he wouldn't read between the lines and find the deeper message behind her words. "Don't make promises you can't keep Annabeth. I'm not saying that to be rude, but I am a realist and I know that isn't possible," he said simply.

She felt hurt, but she answered anyways. "At least promise me that if you feel alone that you'll come and talk with me," she said.

Percy looked intently at the wall, no longer meeting her gaze. He stared at it like it was a puzzle that held the secret to life. Annabeth blushed as she realized that she found the manner in which Percy's eyebrows furrowed and his eyes narrowed to be adorable.

"We'll see," he said simply.

"Okay." Annabeth whispered in response.

Percy looked down at her and gave her a lopsided grin. "Now get some sleep - I know that I kept you up all night," he said gently and Annabeth nodded drowsily, finally feeling her weariness catch up with her.

Like the day when Percy had come across a broken Annabeth in the abandoned architecture room, his fingers began to comb through her silky blond tresses and Annabeth shivered in comfort. She tried to resist the urge to tell Percy to never stop, but she didn't have to because he never did.

* * *

**A/N: Hello everyone! I have been incredibly busy with school and my extra-curriculars in addition to having a vicious bout of writer's block, so forgive me for updating so late. The beginnings of their romance is in the air and I'll try to slow things down, but honestly I don't feel like taking things slow otherwise the chapters just get really boring. Tell me if you have any suggestions. As always I hope you enjoyed the chapter and if you did: Follow, Favorite, and Review. **

**I realize that I have been very very bad with responding to reviews and PM's but I am juggling two well received stories whilst balancing my school work and extra-curriculars so things are getting very difficult. Please don't take it offensively, I swear I appreciate all of the reviews and they encourage me to keep writing. So in light of my dilemma, I have devised a solution - after every chapter, I will dedicate the next chapter to one reviewer. I'll continue to attempt to respond to all of you, but if I slip up then I hope this compensates. I'll have you know that I still read every review, PM, or comment on both of my stories, I just don't have time to review. **

**I want to take this time to thank all of you for the support that you have shown and how well this story has been received. Almost every review I have read so far has been positive, and I am so honored that you actually like it. I am super excited to share the upcoming chapters with you and I hope you continue to read. To show you my appreciation, I'll be adding a sneak peak of the next chapter (note: The italics in this circumstance don't denote a dream, it's just for effect):**

_Annabeth and Percy sat besides each other - Annabeth nervously biting her nails as Percy drummed his fingers against the cold, black plastic of the chair. They turned towards each other and Percy offered her a reassuring smile, trying to assuage her fears about experiencing her first bout of chemotherapy. Annabeth smiled weakly in response, but froze when Percy gently took her hand in his own to prevent her from chewing her nails off and squeezed reassuringly. __She opened her mouth to say something when the nurse came in. _

_"We're ready for you now," The nurse said as she gestured for Annabeth to follow her. Annabeth stood up and as she felt Percy's hand slip away, she began to miss it's soft warmth. _

_"Can he come with me?" Annabeth asked the nurse, pointing to Percy._

_The nurse, an auburn haired woman with hazel eyes, pursed her lips and looked at them sympathetically._

_"Sure, you can bring your boyfriend, but he has to promise not to mess with any of the equipment," the nurse relented._

_Annabeth blushed furiously and Percy looked dazed when they heard her comment._

_"He's not my boyfriend!" Annabeth shrieked and Percy nodded in agreement._

_The nurse smiled at them before responding. "I'm sorry - It's just that you look cute together, so I assumed..." She trailed off and Annabeth felt suddenly flustered while Percy looked confused._

_As the both of them followed the nurse, Annabeth found herself wondering what life would look like with Percy as her boyfriend..._


	9. Temptation

**Fair warning: Things get _heated_ in this chapter, so read at your own risk.**

**Temptation**

Annabeth and Percy sat besides each other - Annabeth nervously biting her nails as Percy drummed his fingers against the cold, black plastic of the chair. They turned towards each other and Percy offered her a reassuring smile, trying to assuage her fears about experiencing her first bout of chemotherapy. Annabeth smiled weakly in response, but froze when Percy gently took her hand in his own to prevent her from chewing her nails off and squeezed it reassuringly. She opened her mouth to say something when the nurse came in.

"We're ready for you now," The nurse said as she gestured for Annabeth to follow her. Annabeth stood up and as she felt Percy's hand slip away, she already began to miss its soft warmth.

"Can he come with me?" Annabeth asked the nurse, pointing to Percy.

The nurse, an auburn haired woman with hazel eyes, pursed her lips and looked at them sympathetically.

"Sure, you can bring your boyfriend, but he has to promise not to mess with any of the equipment," the nurse relented.

Annabeth blushed furiously and Percy looked dazed when they heard her comment.

"He's not my boyfriend!" Annabeth shrieked and Percy nodded in agreement.

The nurse smiled at them before responding. "I'm sorry, it's just that you look cute together, so I assumed..." She trailed off and Annabeth felt suddenly flustered while Percy looked confused.

As the both of them followed the nurse, Annabeth found herself wondering what life would look like with Percy as her boyfriend. Obviously, it would be a lot better than being Luke's girlfriend. Percy treated her with a lot more respect, could always make her feel better, and gave her personal space - all departments that Luke seriously lacked in.

She bit her bottom lip and cast a furtive glance at the lanky green eyed boy walking beside her. If only Percy would want her as a girlfriend in return, then everything would be alright. Maybe if they spent enough time together, then Percy might start to fall for her. Annabeth shook her head quickly to dispel any false hopes to avoid disappointment. There was no point constructing fantasies that would ultimately never come to pass.

The nurse led the both of them into a hospital room and had her lie down on the bed. Following her clipboard, she asked a series of questions about her general health and her behavior. Eventually the questions ended and the nurse rolled her sleeve up and inserted a needle attached to a catheter. Annabeth winced slightly as the sharp, cold metal punctured her skin but it subsided quickly. The nurse turned on a machine she called the IV pump which would begin to infuse the drugs into her bloodstream.

After she left, Percy pulled a chair up beside her and laced his fingers around the hand of her free arm. He closed his eyes and smiled contently at her and despite her circumstances, Annabeth grinned back at him. For a minute or so, a comfortable silence enveloped them as they looked at one another, still holding hands, before Percy broke the silence.

"Does it hurt?" He asked curiously.

Annabeth shrugged her shoulders to the best of her ability. "A little bit."

Percy stared straight into her eyes with piercing intensity. From this distance, Annabeth swore she could see golden flecks intermingled among the usual oceanic pull to his eyes. "You're awfully brave, Annabeth." Percy murmured quietly.

_Oh if you only knew... _Annabeth thought wryly.

Her nights were sleepless and laden with worry. She didn't have much of an appetite with her condition hanging over her head. On more than one night, she cried herself to sleep thinking about the void awaiting her, pulling her in. She couldn't be strong anymore - she couldn't pretend any longer. Her death was imminent and she couldn't accept that.

She gave him a weak smile in return, but Percy could see a veil of sadness beneath her tough exterior. "No, I'm not. I'm really not."

* * *

After her chemotherapy ended, Annabeth felt extremely weak and lethargic. The medicine was life-sucking which she found ironic since it was supposed to cure her. She hobbled out of the hospital with her arm wrapped around Percy's shoulder for support. Had she been able to think clearly, she would have felt extremely happy but in her drug induced haze, she couldn't make much sense of her surroundings.

Percy hailed a cab for them since he didn't know how to drive and because he didn't trust Annabeth to drive them in her weakened state. Throughout their entire ride, he held her hand lightly yet reassuringly to indicate that he was there for her. Even through the haze, Annabeth could still feel a spark running through her hand.

"Hey Annabeth?" Percy asked and she snapped out of her thoughts.

"Yes Percy?" She asked tiredly, stifling a yawn.

He scratched the back of his neck with his free hand nervously and seemed to be debating something. "This is probably really stupid, but seeing as how we're already not in school right now, do you want to complete the first item on our list?" He asked.

Annabeth frowned. "I can't Percy, I'm too tired. Maybe some other time," she replied.

Percy looked out the window sadly. "Yeah, my bad. I shouldn't have asked."

Feelings of sadness bubbled in Annabeth's stomach. She felt like his words were referring to something larger than just completing something on their list.

She squeezed Percy's hand reassuringly. "We're definitely completing our list - I promise." Annabeth said firmly and Percy looked at her with a small smile that warmed her heart.

"You bet we are," he said quietly.

Once the cab finally arrived at Annabeth's house, the both of them walked to her house while Annabeth called her dad to tell him to pick up her car sometime later. Annabeth entered her house and when she turned around, she was confused to see that he wasn't behind her.

"You going to come in or not?" She teased and Percy looked at her nervously.

"Are you sure you want someone like me coming into your house?" He asked cautiously.

Annabeth rolled her eyes. "You were just here last week and besides, we're friends now so don't worry about it," she said.

With great difficulty, Percy finally entered her house. He shoved his hands in his pockets and looked around, his face devoid of emotion. Annabeth could practically feel his discomfort wafting in waves from him. She bit her lip to bite back a smile, but she must have been doing a pretty bad job because Percy's eyes narrowed when he saw her.

He cleared his throat and Annabeth's secret grin spread a little bit wider. "Umm, uh, gosh, I'm having trouble talking right now. Nice place." Percy said with great difficulty.

Rearranging her smile, Annabeth managed to respond, her finger tracing small circles on her cherry wood dining table. "Yeah, it's alright," she said absentmindedly, turning away to conceal her now undisguised smile.

"You're laughing at me!" Percy protested and she could contain it no longer. Annabeth broke out into laughter and she felt her weariness melt away. She clutched her stomach as her laughs racked through her body.

Percy looked at her hopelessly which only caused her to double over once she saw his expression. He harrumphed and crossed his arms over his chest, but Annabeth could make out a trace of a grin on his own face and his eyes twinkled with mirth.

Once she recovered, she managed to respond. "It was kind of funny seeing how uncomfortable you were about coming in," she confessed.

"Whatever." Percy said, but he was just happy to have made her laugh.

Annabeth rolled her eyes playfully and led him upstairs to her room. She sank into her bed and instantly, the aftermath of the chemotherapy struck her and she began to feel light headed and slightly nauseated. She blanched and that slight nausea escalated to unbearable nausea as she stumbled into her bathroom, flipped open the toilet lid, and vomited.

She didn't notice Percy hovering behind her, holding her hair back until after she was through. Her face felt abnormally warm as it flushed with embarrassment.

_That must __definitely_ not have been attractive. Annabeth thought to herself.

Percy rubbed her shoulders comfortingly and she couldn't help but notice how good he was at comforting her. It was almost as if he knew exactly what to do in any given situation.

Annabeth turned to meet his luminescent sea green eyes glistening with concern. She felt her heart race in a most foolish and curious manner at the thought that he cared enough about her to feel concerned.

"Hey, you alright?" Percy asked gently.

"I think?" Annabeth answered in the form of a question.

"Here, tilt your head back and lie down on your bed. I'll go grab you a glass of water and some applesauce." Percy said confidently as though he had done this a million times. In truth, Percy _was_ an expert on the subject since he puked from alcohol on many an occasion.

Annabeth merely nodded in response, rinsed her mouth, and didn't protest when he helped her to her bed. She sank back in the plush mattress and watched him leave the room and heard as he trudged down the stairs. She glanced at her alarm clock and saw that it was around three in the afternoon. A little while later, she heard Percy come back and walk into her room but she smelt his intoxicating ocean scent before he physically walked into the room.

_I wonder if that's some type of deodorant or cologne... _Annabeth thought absentmindedly to herself.

Percy knelt down beside her as Annabeth turned on her side and propped her head up with her arm. He handed her a glass of water and she drank gratefully only now realizing she was parched. After she guzzled down her water, he waved a banana in front of her.

"What's that for?" She asked him curiously.

Percy's face broke out into a devilish smirk. "I don't know. Why don't you tell me, _Anna Banana_?" He teased as Annabeth groaned loudly. Percy never did let go of that nickname even though he was drowning in alcohol when he had coined it. He howled with laughter as Annabeth buried her face in her hands.

He then handed her a small plastic container of applesauce. It was Annabeth's favorite kind, spiced cinnamon apple sauce, and she resisted the urge to bury her face in the bowl. That would have been very unattractive as well. And so, with measured restraint, Annabeth ate her applesauce happily and felt better.

The entire time, Percy merely rested his hand on her bed and looked out through the window. He looked at it like he looked at the wall the night when he was drunk, as though it held secret answers to the mystery of life.

"What are you looking at?" Annabeth asked, raising her spoon to her lips.

"Not looking _at_, looking _for_." Percy stated, his eyes still trained outside.

"Okay, looking for what?" Annabeth asked, a mouth full of applesauce.

He turned to her, a ghost of a grin on his face, before he answered. "For truth," he answered cryptically, not bothering to elaborate.

Annabeth wondered what he meant and she was going to ask him before deciding to ponder his words herself.

"Why?" She asked him. It might seem like a stupid question, but it was one that we rarely asked ourselves. Annabeth felt curious about what Percy thought on the matter.

Percy flashed her a lopsided smile. "Because it's permanent." He whispered and Annabeth felt something inside her stir as his words connected with her. She felt philosophically enlightened and something in her brain just seemed to click in that moment.

Annabeth's eyes searched Percy's and she longed to kiss him. She longed to have her way with him as dirty as that sounded. She had plenty of experience and besides, isn't that what all boys wanted? Maybe Percy just didn't know how good it felt or what he really wanted. What if he was just deluding himself?

As she was thinking these thoughts, she inadvertently leaned in closer to him. It was the combination of his words, his care, his scent, and his presence that made her gravitate towards him. She could feel him tense as her body passed over his hand resting on her bed.

"Annabeth, what are you doing?" Percy whispered when she was mere centimeters away from his face. She could feel his warm breath on her, raising goosebumps on her face and doing all sorts of crazy things to her hormones.

Annabeth didn't answer as she rolled off the bed and pushed him forcefully on the ground before straddling him. She bent down and kissed his neck viciously and passionately. Gods, she wanted this - no not _wanted_, _needed_. She _needed_ this so badly. Her body was wound from the stress of her condition and she had pent up sexual tension just begging to be released. A part of her knew that this was wrong and that she was making a huge mistake, but she just couldn't stop.

"Annabeth." Percy said frostily, but she continued to nip away at the hollow of his neck as her hands roamed his upper body. She wanted a response - a sharp intake of breath, a growl, a moan - anything. Anything to prove to her that he could feel something for her.

"Annabeth. Please. Stop." Percy repeated, his tone growing more icy. She ignored him and bit down on the soft skin of his neck giving him a hickey. Annabeth almost grinned to herself at the love mark on him - _He_ was hers. Her hand ghosted over his pants when she didn't receive a response from the kissing and touching. He couldn't lie down there even if he had remarkable self control otherwise.

"Annabeth." Percy whispered deathly quiet and Annabeth froze, her hands hovering right above his zipper. She looked up into his eyes and was shocked to see tears pooling in them. Only then did it occur to her that she was practically _raping_ him. How ironic was that? The girl raping the guy.

"Please." Percy pleaded, his voice still even despite the tears flowing down his face in rivers, and Annabeth tore herself off of him with great reluctance. Suddenly, Annabeth felt anger burst through her system but it was somehow directed at the crying boy lying on her floor.

"Why can't you just let me please you? Why can't you just accept my feelings and be happy for us? Why can't you be a fucking _normal_ boy and let me have sex with you?" Annabeth raged at him while he laid there not moving.

She heard him take a shaky breath as his tears continued flowing from his eyes even as he brushed them away. Without another word, Percy stood up and walked out of the door unsteadily. His hand lingered on the doorknob for a second to support himself before he turned his head 45 degrees so that she could only see his eye.

Percy's eyes were an inlet into his soul and every emotion he felt could clearly be reflected through them, and Annabeth had no difficult deciphering them. However, when Percy looked at her now, Annabeth had no fucking clue what monolithic emotion swam through them. There was only one alien emotion glistening in his eyes and she couldn't make head or tails of what it was.

Despite not knowing what it was that he was feeling, Annabeth was hit with a guilt so strong she could no longer meet his eyes. With her eyes trained resolutely on the fraying edges of her bed spread, she could hear him shuffle out of her house and close the front door with a slam. She instantly sped to the window and watched him walk out of her driveway treading with utmost care, each step deliberately measured.

When he finally passed from sight, Annabeth raced back to the bathroom again and actually did vomit again. Once she finally finished, she weakly turned on the water and rinsed her mouth thoroughly. She wetted her hand and dragged it over her face before turning off the water. As she stared into the mirror and her bloodshot eyes stared back, she had to resist the urge to punch the mirror.

"You whore!" Annabeth screamed at her reflection. "You skank! You wretched harlot! You promiscuous sleaze bag! What the hell have you done?!"

She screamed at herself, hurling obscenities until her throat gave out and a third wave of chemo-induced weariness washed over her. She slipped into her bed and drew the covers over her body. No matter how hard she tried, sleep didn't come to her. It left her awake, at the mercy of her guilt and self-loathing, both of which were like hidden monsters waiting to devour her heart.

At that moment, all she could think about were the words Percy had spoken in the car the week before.

_But if she ever hurts him again, Percy will never forgive Annabeth..._

* * *

**A/N: **

**This week's review dedication goes to MaydayParade8123 for writing such long and thought provoking reviews. She's also one of the authors I admire the most here and I am honored that she reads my story. I apologize in advance for dedicating a particularly sleazy chapter for you.  
**

**Hello everyone! This past week has been a roller coaster for me - my quarter ended and my grades were the worst they have ever been and finals made me stress out insanely and I qualified for a national tournament for debate - a ton of stuff happened. All in all, I am very disappointed with myself and as such I might not be updating as quickly anymore because this website is the biggest reason I haven't been diligent with my academic pursuits.  
With that aside, I am aware this chapter is really really dirty and I apologize. I'll do my best to keep things like this to a minimum but you were warned multiple times, so I regret nothing. I like the truth part a lot, but apart from that, I don't have much to say. I hope you enjoyed it and as always: Follow, Favorite, and Review!**


	10. Darkness

**Fair Warning: This chapter... just brace yourself when you read it. **

**Darkness**

The next day, Annabeth drove to school in apprehension. She had no idea what she was going to do to get Percy to forgive her. It was a lapse of judgment and control that compelled her to act that way, and she never meant to hurt him like that. More than anything, she just wanted him back. She realized that her life just wasn't the same anymore without him. After spending so much time with him, she had grown accustomed to his presence and he made her happy.

She stepped out of her car and made her way into the school, eager yet dreading to see Percy again. An apology was already somewhat framed in her mind, but she intended on winging most of it because she would probably forget it anyways.

Hesitantly, she opened the school doors and peered into the dark hallway, looking for Percy, but no one was there. She spent the next twenty minutes searching for him, but to no avail. Even once the students began to flood into the school, Annabeth didn't abdicate her search. At this point in time, she honestly didn't care what anyone else thought. Only the thought of finding Percy was on her mind and she didn't intend on stopping until she apologized. However, the metallic ring of the bell told her that she would have to postpone her search for the time being and head to her class.

Throughout the entire day, Annabeth was notably fidgety and disinterested in class, contrasting from her usual conduct in class. She was borderline OCD when it came to academics which is why all of her materials were so meticulously arranged. However, on this particular day, everything was scattered and strewn about in her backpack in a careless manner very uncharacteristic of Annabeth.

She couldn't help it though. With Percy on her mind and guilt eating her apart, she had no capacity to focus. When her classes ended, she would scramble out as quickly as possible, her materials thrown about in a ragtag fashion as she hastened to maximize her time searching for him.

It was around lunch time that she finally figured out that Percy wasn't at school that day. She sank into her lunch table in regret as she dragged her palm across her face. As her friends happily chatted away, she quietly slipped away unnoticed.

At least she thought.

As she relocated herself, an angry Luke plopped down in the seat in front of her. Inadvertently, Annabeth wrinkled her nose - she did _not_ want to see him right now.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" He demanded.

Annabeth's eyebrow cocked up and her weariness and guilt were beginning to be replaced by anger. "What?" She challenged.

Luke stared her down coldly before answering. "Don't play dumb. You've been avoiding me. What's wrong?" He retorted.

She felt her hand twitch as it clenched against the side of the lunch table. "Nothing's _wrong._" Annabeth spat back.

"There's obviously something going on that's disturbing you. Are you pregnant?" He asked, his voice dropping to a whisper, but an undertone of fear and apprehension was unmistakable in his voice.

That's when her rage finally snapped. "No! I am most certainly not pregnant. Now leave me alone!" She whisper yelled, trying not to cause a scene.

Luke studied her for a moment longer before sauntering away, but Annabeth saw the way that he hungrily gazed at the cheerleader table. She began seeing red, but it was strange for her to get so bent out of shape about this. Then she realized that her brain was just trying to divert her attention away from Percy to anger, just to give it something else to do.

Taking deep calming breaths, Annabeth felt her mind go blank and then after a while, she stood up and threw her tray away. She would see Percy when she would see him and there was no way around that.

* * *

Days passed. Still no Percy.

To the rest of the school, it was like he didn't even exist. This just made Annabeth angrier and angrier. She was so desperate, that at one point, she asked Nico di Angelo about him only to be scorned at as he walked away from her in disgust. Annabeth got the feeling that even Nico didn't know where he was, but _he_ didn't seem too worried about it.

The school week passed by without a hitch for the rest of the student body, but Annabeth suffered in silence. Everyday the guilt tore away at her more and more. Worst case scenario's bubbled in the recesses of her mind, but they brought only misery, not reprieve.

That weekend, she spent all of her time driving around down town, hoping to stumble across him somehow. However, fortune didn't seem to favor her on her endeavor.

As she sat in her car, clutching her steering wheel till her hands turned white as she idled in an abandoned parking lot, she thought about Percy's whereabouts.

_Is he drinking himself into oblivion? What if he's doing drugs now after what happened? What if he works for a gang and got killed during some operation? What if he ran into some psychopath that attacked him? Is he even alive? _She thought, biting her lip so hard it drew blood.

Her weekend searches were ultimately unfruitful and she prepared herself for the next school week. When she woke on Monday morning, she was puzzled to see that she had slept past her alarm due to her exhaustion and guilt keeping her awake. She scrambled to make it to school on time, but she still managed to get there a few minutes early like always.

When she stepped out of her Mercedes, she literally ran into the school, hoping and praying that she would see Percy again.

Annabeth got her wish, but sometimes, you need to be careful what you wish for.

As she peered into the dark hallway like she had been doing so the entire school week before, she noticed a figure slumped up against the lockers with his head buried in his knees.

Her foot steps resounded as she jogged over to him, her heart filled with worry and apprehension. The moment of confrontation was finally at hand. Was he going to scream at her? Was he going to give her the cold shoulder? Was he going to ask her to leave him alone?

"Percy?" She inquired and the figure stirred.

Groggily, Percy lifted his head and he looked like he hadn't slept in weeks. He looked at Annabeth and instantly his eyes clouded over with the same emotion that she had seen the day the "incident" happened. Only now, she knew what she was seeing - disappointment.

However, the look vanished and his face broke out in a large smile. His eyes crinkled happily and he rose steadily.

"Hey Wise Girl!" He said cheerily and Annabeth struggled to repress her shock.

_Why in the world was he acting so nice? What's his angle through all this?_

"Are you feeling alright?" Annabeth asked, her voice laced with genuine concern.

"Never better," he responded so sprightly that Annabeth almost believed him. Almost.

Annabeth curled her fingers against her palm and bit her lip as she pondered a way to break past this facade that Percy was putting on.

"Where were you this past week?" Annabeth asked.

"Doesn't matter." Percy said nonchalantly, shrugging his shoulders.

She knew better than to try to force him into revealing information he was not willing to share.

"It's so good to see you again!" He said happily before engulfing her in a hug. Annabeth froze against his frame before hesitantly wrapping her arms around him as well. Something about this hug felt so wrong from their previous hug.

As she pulled back, it finally broke her inhibitions and she decided to address the problem head on. "I apologize for what happened that day after chemo. I-I wasn't myself and I never meant all of the things I said. I took things too far and after you left, I realized how badly you must have felt about it all." Annabeth ranted, glad to finally get the issue out into the open.

In response, Percy cocked his head to the side and raised an eyebrow. "What're you talking about?"

Annabeth felt her world freeze around her. What the hell was going on? Why was Percy doing this to her? This was thoroughly unexpected and it took a lot to catch her off guard.

"I'm talking about me practically trying to rape you." She glowered at him.

Percy studied her for a second before pressing his hand against her forehead as if trying to check for her temperature. "Are you sure you're feeling alright Annabeth? I think you might be burning up." He said, his voice laced with concern so genuine, it appeared to be forced.

Angrily, she swatted his hand away and he recoiled slightly. "I'm fine." She spat venomously, getting increasingly agitated that Percy refused to believe that her actions had even occurred. It was driving her up the wall, and he was doing such a believable job that she wondered if it was real at all and not just some chemo-induced hallucination.

Maybe Percy had drunk himself silly so that he could forget about the whole shebang and now he couldn't remember it. The thought caused tears to prick her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. He definitely must have cut this past week, but she didn't let herself think about it for the sake of the vestiges of her sanity.

Then she remembered the look in his eyes when she first saw him today and she knew that he hadn't forgotten. He was doing this on purpose for reasons that she couldn't even begin to comprehend.

She remained quiet but she went along with it, glad to have avoided the inevitably nasty conversation she had expected. Throughout the entire week, she studied Percy to see if his facade would slip at all, but he did a remarkable job of acting like an amazing best friend that never had to deal with her assaulting him.

This only made Annabeth's guilt intensify. The fact that he was treating her so nicely after all that she pulled on him tore her heart to shreds. Now that she thought about it, all that she had ever done for Percy was bring him pain, but throughout it all, he remained firmly loyal to her by staying at her side. She had nothing to show on her end however. She was a bad friend that had tried to jump his bones when he was there for her.

However, there was something about his kindness and concern that seemed alien. It was like it was practiced or rehearsed which took away its authenticity. The whole thing was just so forced, it was almost painful to her. In a way, Percy was hurting her more by faking kindness and concern than by attacking her with insults. To Annabeth, it felt like she had tainted their entire friendship by turning it into something artificial.

The pain she felt only grew greater with every passing day, and by Friday, she could no longer take it. She cornered him in the morning when they were the only ones in the school to have the conversation the both of them had been putting off.

"What's wrong with you? Why are you doing this to me?" Annabeth demanded, her eyes starting to tear up already.

"What do you mean?" Percy asked her politely.

"This! Like what I did to you never even happened? Why are you acting so- so nice to me? I can tell that you're faking it!" She cried out, wringing her wrists in angst.

"We're friends remember? I'll always be nice to you." Percy stated, still being nauseatingly polite.

"You're not answering my first question! I'd rather have you scream and hate me than doing this - acting like a cookie cutter best friend when you don't mean it!" Annabeth raged.

Percy's eyes bulged incredulously. "You're saying you want me to scream at you?" He asked in a voice of disbelief.

"Stop changing the topic!" Annabeth screamed, feeling helpless.

Percy reached out to her, but Annabeth stepped away in disgust. "You really need to see a doctor, Annabeth. I think the chemo's doing weird things to your thoughts." Percy said, shaking his head.

Anger coursed through Annabeth's veins and she began to see black. "You sick bastard! You're enjoying this, aren't you? You're enjoying seeing me squirm with guilt while you play dumb, right?" She demanded, shaking with rage.

Percy's facade slipped and a look of malice passed over his face before he smirked. "Oh, but of course."

Annabeth didn't even register what she was doing when she slapped him across the face. A gleam passed through his eyes and before she knew it, Percy pressed her against the lockers so that she was forced to stare into his eyes which bordered on manic intensity. She squirmed, trying to look everywhere but in those orphic eyes - she knew she would lose herself if she did.

"Look at me." Percy whispered, but there was rage so dark and oppressive behind his words that he sounded infinitely more threatening than if he had screamed. His words forced her gaze to lock onto his and instantly, she regretted it.

When she peered into them, she saw a suffering so unimaginable it made her knees buckle, but Percy held her up, forcing her to stare. Annabeth saw men drinking alcohol like water, driving themselves to lunacy as they closed themselves away from the world. She saw madness manifest itself in every form imaginable, taking grasp of weak minds like a silent invader spreading a small but indestructible seed that gradually destroyed its host. Rivers of blood streamed around the bodies of the broken, the forsaken, who felt so much pain that only inflicting their own brand could allow them to feel like they still had an iota of agency.

Things so unspeakably dark that they couldn't even be comprehended rested in Percy's eyes - casual and indifferent murder, merciless rape, and cold blooded abuse. That's when Annabeth knew that these were all things that Percy had seen at such a ripe age. He had told her that he was fucked up, but only now did she have an idea of just what he was talking about. He was literally the living embodiment of suffering.

She didn't register the tears streaming down her face or the violent sobs that racked her body. They felt inconsequential compared to what Percy had to deal with ever since the day that he was born. She finally understood the cutting - anyone would do the same if they had seen what he had seen. Hell, it was a surprise that Percy wasn't driven into madness already.

"Do you see now, Annabeth?" He whispered, his breath teasing her neck and raising goosebumps.

Annabeth managed a small nod because she understood what he was saying. She saw now why Percy was who he was and now more than ever, the guilt of her actions threatened to topple her.

"Do you want to know why I can't love Annabeth? Do you want to know why I am not 'normal'?" Percy hissed and Annabeth felt her blood run cold. She didn't want to know, but she had the feeling she was going to find out anyways.

Percy took a steadying breath before continuing. "I've seen so much darkness in this world, the likes of which your mind couldn't even begin to process. I've seen little girls get raped in broad daylight by despicable men. I've seen babies drugged with heroine and cocaine until they died. I've seen so much, Annabeth, and I am so terrified of everything and everyone around me. I live in perpetual fear from the things that I've seen and then you come along and try to sexually assault me after I _told_ you that I don't feel physical attraction. That's my euphemistic way for saying that I can't love because no one has ever loved me and I've never seen love. All that I've seen is misery." He rambled, his voice cracking occasionally but for the most part, it remained steady.

"Percy, I didn't know." Annabeth whispered pleadingly, but Percy turned his head away to the side.

"There's a reason I didn't think we would be friends, Annabeth. It's because my world and your world are incompatible. I'm destined to suffer and I sure as hell am not going to let you add to my suffering. I don't befriend anyone because people are hell - they betray and eat each other like wolves. You're _no fucking different_ no matter what you might want to believe. Trust me, this entire time was my testing period to see if you were special enough to rise up out of the shit storm of the world we live in, and you did not even come _close_ to passing." Percy responded and Annabeth couldn't even _begin_ to identify what she was feeling.

Then Percy quieted and a strange look appeared in his eyes. "Why am I still here? Why shouldn't I just kill myself and escape?" He whispered to himself, but Annabeth heard him.

"Death is not an escape, Percy." She said slowly, trying to reign him in.

"You don't know anything about me. Stop trying to sympathize because you can't and I don't want you to." He spat back and Annabeth recoiled.

"I might not know anything about you, but taking your life isn't the answer." Annabeth said.

"Then what is?" He responded flatly, and Annabeth wracked her brain.

After a while, she answered, "I-I don't know."

"Thought so." Percy fired back, his back to her now.

Suddenly, he appeared to age before Annabeth's very eyes and he sagged with weariness, but Annabeth righted him. "I am sorry for what I did to you, but I did not know about any of this." Annabeth pleaded and Percy looked up at her.

"Now that you do, what will you do?" He asked softly.

"I'll stay and help you through this. I might not fix things, but I can definitely make things easier for you. I can promise that much." She replied instantly and Percy managed a small smile.

He studied her for a little while longer before he spoke. "You're interesting Annabeth Chase, maybe just enough to keep around." He said with a small smile and Annabeth didn't even attempt to stop the grin blossoming across her face.

In that moment, things were back to equilibrium, and she realized that Percy Jackson needed to complete their list just as badly as she did.

"On Monday, I'm thinking of skipping school. You up for it, Seaweed Brain?" Annabeth asked, feeling bold.

With a truly genuine smile, his first in two weeks, he responded. "Oh most definitely, Wise Girl."

* * *

**A/N: Hello everyone! Well now you know a little bit more of Percy's life and why he is the way he is. I kind of stole the eye stuff from Percy's interaction with Dionysius in the first book, but I made it my own. Next chapter, they'll finally start their list! Until then: Follow, Favorite, and Review!**


	11. Giving

**Giving**

Like a commando operative, Annabeth hid behind the oak tree in her front yard as she counted the seconds, waiting for her parents to leave for work. Athena had already left before she even woke up which was occurring with increasing frequency of late, which was strange because Annabeth was always the first one awake. Her mother left before dawn and didn't return until around ten or eleven at night. It was like she was trying to work herself to death at her architecture firm. Ever since Annabeth's diagnosis on the whole cancer affair, her mother had become strangely silent and reserved, not even speaking with her anymore.

_I wonder what in the world is up with her... _Annabeth thought to herself.

Annabeth dispelled the thought as she watched her father stumble out the door, balancing his briefcase in hand, a cup of coffee in the other, and a muffin clamped in his mouth. He forgot his keys or something because he rolled his eyes exaggeratedly, groaned, and trudged back into the house, mumbling a slew of curses under his breath. Annabeth had to clamp her hand over her mouth to suppress a chuckle at her father's antics.

Frederick had been doing everything in his power to accommodate his daughter's needs and Annabeth really couldn't ask anything more from him. He was understanding and protective, but not in an overbearing manner, and he was always there if she needed to talk. The only reason she felt hesitant about ditching school today was because of him; she didn't want to give him a heart attack and she was definitely going to get a stern talking to at the end of the night.

When he finally did drive away, Annabeth dropped her backpack in the house, grabbed some cash, and ran over to the local bus stand to drive her downtown. Her car was still stranded at the hospital since her dad had been rather time pressed and therefore hadn't brought it back yet. She was meeting Percy at some coffee shop that they both knew, and Annabeth could scarcely suppress her excitement.

As she stood, she contemplated what she was going to say to him once they saw each other today. She acknowledged that she had screwed up big time, and she couldn't fathom the depth of his character to have forgiven her. Yet again, she realized that Percy truly was a great being and she admired him all the more now that she knew the circumstances surrounding his upbringing. He could have easily turned the other way, but he remained righteous despite all that.

There were still things that Percy was holding back from her and she knew it. However, now that she had kind of burned some bridges between them, she wasn't exactly going to be privy to all of his problems anytime soon. She would have to regain his trust over a long period of time; time that she might not really even have.

Swearing under her breath, she cursed her boneheaded move that day as she boarded the bus. She had put them back several steps in their friendship, and now she had to waste valuable time recovering ground that she had already claimed before.

Annabeth leaned her head against the window pane on the bus, sighing to herself as she watched the startling transition between the well kept orderly world of the suburbs give way to the grimy, no-holds-bared atmosphere of the city. It shocked her to see the juxtaposition between the prosperous and the impoverished.

There just wasn't any rhyme or reason to it. In different circumstances, the homeless man pushing the shopping cart could have been an affluent corporate manager if he had just been dealt a better hand. It was so arbitrary how delineations between the lucky and unlucky were drawn. Who determined if someone would be born into a happy, wealthy, loving family or an abusive, poor, painful family? It just didn't strike Annabeth as particularly fair, but then again, she had cancer so things weren't really adding up in the fairness department.

Then Annabeth realized that no matter how well off you are or how seemingly perfect your life is, there were always things that went wrong and things that existed to cause you pain. That was a common denominator between every human being that has ever lived or will live, and oddly enough, that was a good thing. It was our suffering that allowed people to understand and connect with other fellow beings. Maybe it was a steep price to pay, but Annabeth felt that she would much rather live in an empathetic world than an apathetic one.

The bus finally came to a stop and she walked out, making a beeline for the coffee shop and making a point of directing her head to downwards to evade unwanted attention. She arrived at the coffee shop without a hitch and opened the door only to be hit with the overpowering smell of coffee and the warm sugary aroma of freshly made pastries.

After scanning the shop, she realized that Percy wasn't there yet so she decided to buy the both of them some food and drinks. With the food and beverages in hand, she plopped into a chair at a table basking in the radiance of the morning sun, but not in a blinding manner.

It was the tell tale tinkle of the door's bell and the familiar fragrance of an oceanic breeze that alerted her of Percy's arrival. He slid into a chair and Annabeth stole an indulgent glance at him. He was wearing an old, stained white T-shirt with a very interesting and provocative statement that was so "Percy" that she wanted to grin.

"So god is dead, huh?" Annabeth asked with a smirk as Percy matted his hair down. She could see that it was still wet from a recent shower; not that she minded or anything.

"Oh, what this?" Percy asked, gesturing to his white T-Shirt, before a small smile slid across his face.

"Yeah, what's up with that?" She asked him.

Percy reached over and stole some coffee from Annabeth and an apple danish. "I don't know; why don't you tell me?" He challenged, and Annabeth rolled her eyes before dropping the subject.

"You don't wear that at school." She pointed out.

He unscrewed the top of his drink, eyeing it suspiciously, before frowning at its contents and capping it once again. "It's too 'political' or whatever crap they come up with these days to promote homogeneity." He said disdainfully.

Annabeth smiled at his statement. "You don't sound too happy about that."

With a wry smile, he answered sardonically, but more so in a teasing manner than an aggressive one. "Gee, what gave it away?"

"There's the Percy I know and hate." Annabeth mimicked and that elicited a full blown grin on Percy's end.

"Clever, Chase, but I get the feeling that I might have heard that somewhere before. Can you help jog my memory?" He teased, and Annabeth flushed when she recollected the context of the conversation that the phrase was used in.

"Shut up." She grumbled and Percy laughed brightly, causing her to smile secretly to herself as she covered her mouth with her hand because she wanted to seem to project displeasure towards his remark.

Percy leaned over and ruffled her hair affectionately causing her to glare at him intensely. Before she could melt his bones with her eyes, he took a hesitant sip of the coffee before his eyes bulged comically and he exaggeratedly forced the liquid down his throat which elicited an amused laugh on Annabeth's end.

"Blah! How can you drink that crap?!" Percy asked disdainfully, holding his cup with two fingers as though the Devil had personally pissed in it.

With a chuckle, Annabeth gazed at him in amusement. "It's because I'm a grown up and you're still a five year old." She teased and Percy stuck his tongue out at her, now opting to stuff his face full of danish.

"So what are we doing today?" Annabeth inquired as Percy inhaled his food. She was secretly glad to see him eating instead of declining to accept the food like she thought he was going to.

He slowed down and chewed thoughtfully, contemplating an answer. "Well I thought that we could go to my house and shoot ourselves full of methamphetamine. Sound like a plan?" He asked seriously and Annabeth's jaw dropped as her eyes bulged out of her sockets.

In a split second, his serious expression gave way to riotous laughter. "Oh, you should have seen the look on your face! Priceless!" He chortled as Annabeth gazed at him disdainfully.

"Relax Wise Girl, we're not going to my house or doing drugs today." He said placatingly and she rolled her eyes at him.

"We're saving that good stuff for a later day." He said with a wink and a good natured yet mischievous grin as he took another bite of his danish.

"Whatever." Annabeth mumbled and his smirk widened.

"No, but in all honesty it's a surprise. You'll just have to wait and see." Percy stated mysteriously and Annabeth tried not to act too interested.

It was then that Annabeth realized that Percy was wearing a T-Shirt, which meant that his forearms were exposed. However, when she gazed down at them, one was heavily bandaged.

Percy must have picked on this because he raised one up for her to see. "You like my new look?" He teased with a cloying smile.

Noting her unamused and concerned expression, he rolled his eyes before answering. "Relax, just burned my arm on the stove this morning. No biggie." He lied fluently and convincingly, but she didn't buy it for a minute.

"Can I see your burn?" She asked lightly causing Percy's arm to retreat under the table and a haunted look to cloud over his eyes.

"No, you may not." He stated flatly, closing off all avenues for further inquiry.

Without warning, he stood up and rubbed his hands over each other to cast away any excess crumbs before beckoning Annabeth to follow him.

"Where are we going?" Annabeth asked as she jogged to keep up with him.

"My most favorite place in world." Percy stated simply and Annabeth pondered what he meant.

Percy deftly navigated through the hustle and bustle of the city with practiced ease while Annabeth stumbled awkwardly and ungracefully, trying to keep up with his pace. When he finally realized she was struggling, he took her hand in his own and led her around as Annabeth tried to quell the eruption of butterfly's in her stomach.

When they finally stopped in front of a rather destitute looking building at the heart of the city, saying that Annabeth was confused would have been an understatement. On a list of possible activities, she had been expecting some sort of fun or entertaining outing to be at the top, and being dragged into a women and children's homeless shelter was way _way_ at the bottom; like non-existant at the bottom.

"We're at a homeless shelter." Annabeth stated confusedly.

Percy smirked at her wryly. "And my name is Percy. Thank you Captain Obvious. We are indeed at a homeless shelter." Percy deadpanned dryly.

"Oh." Annabeth stated inarticulately, following him as he walked through the doors only to be greeted by a musty smell.

_This is the smell of defeat and surrendered dreams. _She thought to herself in dry amusement as she followed Percy down a set of creaky stairs.

When they entered a sort of kitchen on the bottom floor, Percy's face lit up as he walked over and warmly hugged a young woman standing behind the countertop, preparing some food.

"Hestia! It's so great to see you!" Percy gushed and Annabeth was taken aback by his sudden display of affection. She felt irked by the fact that he had his arms wrapped around a slim brunette in her late twenties.

"Percy, don't hug me in front of your girlfriend; You're making her jealous!" She chastised and Annabeth flushed angrily while Percy chuckled.

"She's not my girlfriend Hestia, and she is most definitely not jealous of my hopelessly falling in love with you, a most cruel specimen to deny my advances." Percy joked, but Annabeth didn't notice his tone and started seeing red.

With a scowl, she pushed Percy away from her before ruffling his hair affectionately. A dopey grin slid across his face and his eyes twinkled merrily as she did so.

Hestia coughed expectantly when Percy stood there stupidly, breaking his reverie. He cleared his throat loudly before wiping his palms against his jeans. "Okay, so umm, Annabeth meet Hestia, proprietor of this fine establishment. Hestia, meet Annabeth, the biggest smart ass you will ever meet in your life." Percy said and Hestia playfully whacked the back of Percy's head, causing him to rub it awkwardly.

"Gee, you really know how to treat a girl, Jackson. I'll give you that much." Hestia said sardonically and Annabeth could immediately see how they got along so well.

Hestia turned towards Annabeth with a warm motherly smile as she dried her hands on a towel after washing them. She extended her hand and Annabeth met her halfway albeit slightly hesitantly.

"Hestia Jones, it's a pleasure to meet you. I've heard a lot things about you from old kelp-for-brains here." She said warmly and Annabeth smiled despite herself.

"Annabeth Chase and likewise. All good things I presume?" She asked and Hestia smiled and nodded in agreement before returning to her cooking.

"So what brings you here on a _school_ day no less." Hestia asked in an accusatory tone, stressing the word "school".

"Oh well, I was just showing Anna Banana here the homeless shelter and I thought that we could help out today and also catch up with everyone." Percy stated and Hestia's posture softened.

"Percy, I know how much you care about everyone here, but you can't put your life on hold. You're a teenager; go get an education and find someway to make something out of yourself." Hestia said and Percy rolled his eyes.

"I'm staying and that's final." He said adamantly and Hestia mumbled something that sound suspiciously like, "Of course".

"Well, if you're helping, don't just stand there! Get your ass over here and help out!" Hestia scoffed and waved the both of them over.

Percy immediately went to work, donning an apron and washing his hands, while Hestia taught Annabeth how to prepare some of the dishes. She listened attentively to every word that Hestia was saying, but she found herself distracted with how skillfully Percy was navigating about the kitchen. With practiced hands, he peeled the skin off a potato in one fluid motion and proceeded to zest a lemon over one of Hestia's finished dishes.

_"Burned my hand on the stove," my ass... _Annabeth thought dryly.

"Well, that should be about it. Any questions?" Hestia asked.

"Huh, what?" Annabeth asked, snapping out of her ogling.

Hestia frowned slightly but then followed her line of sight and grinned cloyingly. She nudged her playfully with her elbow causing Annabeth to swat her away in embarrassment.

"He's a looker isn't he?" Hestia teased.

"I-I don't know what you're talking about." Annabeth stammered weakly and Hestia laughed warmly.

"Don't worry, you're secret's safe with me. Mum's the word, eh?" She said before winking and returning to work.

Still flushing with embarrassment, Annabeth approached Percy to seek guidance since she didn't want Hestia teasing her anymore. When she made her way over, Annabeth was surprised to see the look of pure and undivided concentration on his face, a look she never expected him to be wearing.

Loathe to interrupt him when he was in the zone, Annabeth shuffled about awkwardly, retrieving and tying an apron around her midsection before washing her hands. She took a look at a couple vegetables laying solitarily on the cutting board so she ambled over and began to cut them. She was doing a pretty awful job, chopping arbitrarily and unevenly, the cucumber slices looked rather peculiar.

After about a minute, she heard Percy emit a sigh before sauntering over to assess the damage. Annabeth winced slightly thinking about how foolish she must have appeared to him.

"It's not nice to try to maim that cucumber. I mean, what did it ever do to you?" Percy joked and Annabeth mumbled an apology that he quickly dismissed.

"Hey don't worry about it. I nearly burned the place down my first time cooking here." He chuckled and she smiled a small smile.

"It's true! Damn near had to call the fire department!" Hestia piped in and the pair of them laughed.

Percy took the cucumber and the cooking board from Annabeth and began to cut it into perfectly even slices, slowly so that she could observe his technique.

"You gotta make sure that you're cutting through, not cutting at." Percy stated, methodically chopping while Annabeth nodded.

"Here, you try now." He said, thrusting the cucumber and board into her hands.

She hesitantly accepted them and began cutting them, but she still couldn't mimic Percy's technique. He remained silent, studying her as she chopped which made her feel awfully self conscious. Without warning, he walked behind her and gently took her hand in his own. Annabeth felt her breathing hitch when Percy whispered into to her neck, raising goosebumps.

"Like this." He whispered, guiding her hand in fluid motions, cutting the cucumber with surgical precision.

Annabeth nodded imperceptibly in response and continued to allow him to guide her, relishing the close contact. At this proximity, his fragrance was irresistible and seemed to refresh and suppress her thought clarity at the same time. It dulled her inhibitions, but heightened her awareness. For example, she felt tingling as his pale arm lightly grazed her tan one.

He let go of her hand to encourage her to attempt it by herself now and she instantly missed his warmth. With shaky fingers, she copied Percy's motion to the best of her ability and delighted to see the slices turning out evenly now.

"I did it!" Annabeth proclaimed proudly and Percy beamed at her before returning to his own work.

For the next hour, Annabeth lost herself in the preparation of the food for the resident at the shelter, and she found herself enjoying every second of it. Percy and Hestia would banter back and forth, throwing witty remarks or citing great literature as they teased one another without reservation while Annabeth listened on with a barely restrained grin. They would include her in conversations as well and she was surprised by the level of intellectual engagement they had. It was like conversing with two erudite yet humorous scholars.

"Hey Annabeth!" Percy called in a muffled voice, and she turned away from her work to look at him.

She burst out laughing as she saw Percy using two bananas as walrus tusks while wearing a pasta strainer as a hat.

"I am the Walrus! Goo goo cachoob!" Hestia sang and the three chorused in laughter at their antics.

When she recovered, Hestia excused herself to go and bring the residents in for food. They had prepared a remarkable spread of very homestyle, comfort food - mashed potatoes and gravy, flaky biscuits slathered with melted butter, and roasted vegetable lasagna to name a few.

"What's with all the food? Doesn't seem like normal shelter food; more like restaurant food." Annabeth confided and Percy shrugged.

"Hestia has a philosophy that I share - good comfort food helps heal the soul." He stated and Annabeth nodded in approval.

"That makes sense. Is that why you enjoy cooking so much?" She asked, sitting on top of the countertop, watching Percy sharpen some knives with his back towards her.

He shrugged again. "It's part of it, I suppose, but it's really about helping these people out." He confessed.

Annabeth thought about it. She volunteered but it was more out of a necessity for her college application than it was because she motivated by some sort of moral obligation to help those in need. Again, her respect and admiration for Percy rose; he was thinking about others when he barely had enough for himself.

"I thought you said that values didn't exist?" Annabeth pressed to which he shrugged again.

"This isn't a question of values or attaining some sort of ethical or metaphysical purity. I just do it because I want to, not because I want to engage in moral masturbation, so to say." He said.

"What's the difference between wanting to do something and 'moral masturbation'?" Annabeth asked with a smile as she drew air quotes.

"Well, moral masturbation is getting off on the fact that you're helping others. You do ethical things because you feel good and awesome and pure on the inside, not because you're necessarily even concerned about the welfare of another human being. Sooner or later, your justifications for acting ethically become centered around getting that feel-good sensation that comes from service rather than doing the act for its own sake. I just do these type of things because honestly, I see myself in these people and I want to help them because I was never helped myself." Percy rambled and Annabeth was struck by how profound his insight was.

Annabeth began swinging her feet back and forth like a toddler. "Why don't you live here then?"

Another shrug. "I don't want to be a burden for Hestia and the others. They're far more deserving than I am and besides, I have place to stay so I can't really complain, you know?" He said nonchalantly, but there was an undertone of humility and self-degradation behind his words that made Annabeth's heart fill with sorrow and admiration.

"You're not a burden." She whispered and Percy stopped his sharpening to turn to her.

"Hate to break it to you, but, yeah, I kind of am. I am just a dead weight that won't amount to anything, like you said." He stated defiantly and guilt wormed reared its ugly head yet again in Annabeth's system.

"Percy, you know that I don't mean that, at least not anymore now that I know you." She pleaded, hoping that he would hear the regret in her words, but he just scoffed and shook his head.

"Doesn't change the fact that it's true." He pressed and Annabeth found herself without a response. Percy's eyes softened as she hung her head in shame and regret at his words.

"Hey, don't beat yourself up. I didn't mean to call you out or anything, but it's just how I feel. Trust me, I don't blame you." Percy said honestly.

"I know! I know and that's the strange part; I've been so awful to you and said so many hurtful things and you should hate me, but instead you just stand there and act like nothing's happened and you comfort and care for me when all I've ever done is fuck things up for you." Annabeth mourned, speaking bitterly.

She heard the shuffling of feet and soon the enveloping fragrance of Percy's scent told her that he was close to her. Dangerously close.

With a lilting tap of her chin, she looked up into his sea green eyes which twinkled in the dim light of the kitchen, sparkling with their own brand of light that made all others seem dark in comparison. For a fraction of a second, her eyes flickered to his lips but she diverted them to his eyes before she did anything impulsive again.

"Don't tell yourself these things. You'll not doing yourself any favors dwelling on the past and looking so sad doesn't suit you. You look prettier when you're happy." Percy confessed and Annabeth almost choked on her own spit.

"You think I'm pretty?!" She asked him incredulously and Percy frowned at her.

"That's what you got from all that?" He asked, but his face reddened and he didn't deny the statement which made Annabeth almost want to prance and dance around the room in joy.

The sound of Hestia's voice telling them to bring the food upstairs broke the awkward silence. The two busied themselves with carrying the all of the dishes up the stairs. They emerged and immediately Percy's face broke out into the biggest smile that Annabeth had ever seen on anyone.

He sped over and two young boys, obviously twins, began to run to him with huge grins on their faces. As soon as Percy put the dishes down, he hugged both of them tightly and spun them around. Annabeth smiled at the sight of the three of them playing and laughing.

One of them tugged on Percy's jeans while another clambered on his back, eliciting a laugh on Percy's behalf. "Travis! Connor! Easy guys or you'll tear Percy apart!" Hestia exclaimed, suddenly appearing by Annabeth's side.

Percy dismissed her statement with a content laugh. "It's alright Hestia, let 'em be. Boys will be boys after all." He remarked to which Hestia scowled before laughing to herself.

"And hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!" She retorted causing Percy to stick a tongue out at her.

With another laugh, she turned to Annabeth and beamed at her. "I can't thank you enough for helping out Annabeth! Come with me and I'll introduce you to everyone." She said, dragging Annabeth along with her.

Everyone at the shelter was remarkably kind and respectable towards Annabeth and they didn't judge the rich designer label clothes that she wore. At that second, she wished she was wearing anything else since she felt pretentious and guilty. She made good friends with a kind older woman named Demeter Harper, who grew all the vegetables used to make the food, and a beautiful, soft-spoken girl her age named Piper McLean.

After all the introductions, everyone began to dig in and ate with obvious relish, praising Hestia and Percy for their amazing talent. Percy insisted that Annabeth also be accredited for the spread before them and the entire shelter cheered her name in unison. Annabeth felt like her heart was going to burst with emotion when they did because for once she felt like she was doing something right in her life, something bigger than just herself.

Percy met her eyes and grinned in approval before wrapping an arm around her shoulders and hugging her close to him. "You did great." He whispered into her hair causing Annabeth to shiver.

"Thank you." She whispered in response and she could feel Percy grinning against her.

"So you enjoyed it?" He asked nervously yet hopefully to which she nodded vigorously in affirmation.

"Good." He said, before shoveling some more food into his mouth.

When the festivities where over, Percy and Annabeth volunteered to do the dishes, but the rest of the occupants brought the plates down for them. Then Percy manned the sprayer as Annabeth dried the dishes. They talked the entire while about everything and anything - mostly Annabeth talked and Percy listened because he claimed that he didn't have anything interesting enough to mention, but he actively asked questions or laughed at the right moments so Annabeth knew he wasn't bored out of his mind.

It was strange really, Annabeth felt a lot more self-conscious around Percy because she didn't want to disappoint him, but he also made her feel incredibly at ease and accepted. She found herself hoping that she wasn't annoying him with her stupid recounts of things that happened to her, but he seemed to be enjoying himself so she felt assuaged.

Percy handed the last dish to Annabeth and as she dried it off, she failed to notice the sudden mischievous glint that appeared in his eyes. Right when she set the plate down, Annabeth screamed as Percy sprayed her with the water from his little spray gun. He roared in laughter at the sight of her as she glared daggers at him, fuming yet trying her hardest not to laugh at the same time.

"Oh yeah, Seaweed Brain? You think that you are funny?" Annabeth questioned and before Percy could register what was happening, he was struck in the face with a smattering of flour. He sneezed and wiped his eyes off, but his face was yellow and completely covered with flour.

"This means war, Chase." He stated evenly, and Annabeth quickly scanned the room for more edible projectiles.

Without warning, Percy attempted to squirt her with more water but she hurtled past him, getting a handful of leftover gravy and hitting him in the chest with it. Percy groaned and pelted her with a tomato, dying her entire shirt red. Annabeth raced over to him and capsized an entire bowl of chocolate pudding, causing it drip all over his clothes. Then that glint appeared in his eyes again and before Annabeth could process what was happening, he hugged her tightly, effectively slathering her with all the pudding and gravy that adorned his chest.

"Cheater!" Annabeth protested weakly, trying not to cling onto him.

She felt his chest rumble as he chuckled in amusement. "All's fair in love and war, my dear." He whispered before pressing his lips to her hair.

"Come on, let's go get cleaned up and then we can take Connor and Travis to the park. Piper can come with too." Percy said, withdrawing from Annabeth who was turning the same shade as her shirt and she nodded in agreement.

Using the showers at the shelter, the both of them got cleaned up and Annabeth borrowed some of Piper's clothes since hers were too mucked up after her little food fight with Percy.

Soon, they were both outside with Connor and Travis running ahead of them, yelling obnoxiously. They were endearing for a pair of six year olds; sorry six and three quarters, thank you very much. Piper walked along with Annabeth while Percy chased after the twins trying to make sure they didn't get lost.

At the park, Annabeth and Piper chatted as Percy ran around, terrorizing the twins in a game of hide and seek. He would always make a good show of pretending that he didn't know where they were when they hid in plain sight, giggling rather loudly between themselves. When he finally found them, the twins would pounce on him and tackle him to the ground and the three would laugh. Percy would usually ensnare one of them and tickle them while the other escaped.

"Travis! Save Me! I'm dying!" Connor squealed as Percy tickled him mercilessly.

Piper and Annabeth exchanged smiles as they watched the sight. Connor finally managed to squirm out from underneath Percy who let him run off. As Connor sped away, Percy threw his head back and laughed brightly, his eyes twinkling merrily, and he looked the happiest that Annabeth had ever seen him. His eyes met hers and he grinned boyishly and when Annabeth's heart fluttered, it occurred to her that Percy would have made a great father.

* * *

The hour turned late as Annabeth and Percy walked together back to her house, still chatting happily with one another. She felt like today had been the greatest day of her short teenage life and she felt like Percy gave her something special today.

The sense of community and caring that she now felt with the residents of Hestia's shelter was iron clad, and now she understood what Percy meant by "moral masturbation" and about helping for the sake of helping. She felt a sense of fierce compassion when she helped the occupants or talked with them and she resolved to visit there and help out more when she found the time.

"I had fun today." Annabeth admitted and Percy smiled inwardly as he looked down at his fraying sneakers.

"Did you?" He asked, a smile tugging at his lips.

"Yeah, a lot of fun. It wasn't what I expected, but it was infinitely better. It was a great way to spend time outside of school and I'm definitely going back whenever I get the chance. I have to take Piper shopping with me some time." Annabeth rambled and Percy's grin grew wider.

"I'm sure she'll like that and I am so glad you liked it." Percy said in response.

"Loved, not liked." Annabeth corrected and Percy laughed, bumping his hip against Annabeth's causing her to stumble sideways slightly. She responded in kind, but more forcefully, sending him sprawling. Percy just looked up at her and laughed as she apologized profusely, ultimately laughing herself.

As she pulled him up, she thought about how great of a team they were. However in that second she wondered what would happen to Percy when she died. Was her friendship with him even meaningful if she was ultimately going to death shortly? What if she left him scarred and broken with her death? She couldn't do that to him; not after all that he had done. However, she was too weak to resist his allure and even though she knew that she was inevitably hurting him, she couldn't bring herself to stay away from him.

"You are aware that you're friends with a dying girl, right?" Annabeth suddenly blurted out.

Percy looked at her seriously before answering. "You are aware that you're friends with a boy that's already dead, right?" He asked her and Annabeth paused.

"You were definitely alive today." Annabeth argued, not in the mood for Percy's linguistic grandiloquence.

When Percy answered, his answer burned itself in her mind. "We're at a crossroads, Annabeth. I am the dead boy slowly coming back to life and you are the living girl slowly dying and we've met each other at some intersection. I can see what's eating at you, but realize that we both need each other. You're teaching me how to live and feel again and I'm teaching you how to cope and feel contentment." Percy stated.

Annabeth thought a while about his response, processing and savoring every word he spoke. "How do you do that?" She asked him suddenly.

"Do what?" He asked, his brow furrowed in confusion.

"Use words so artfully. Listening to you talk is like listening to poetry and you can heal or ramify any situation just by talking." She admitted and delighted to see Percy blush a deep red color.

"I-I don't know; It's just how I am, I guess." He stammered and she laughed.

When they finally got to her house, they stood awkwardly at the doorstep, both reluctant to leave the other. "We'll see each other tomorrow." Percy said, breaking the silence and Annabeth nodded in response.

"We will." She agreed and Percy flashed her a sheepish smile.

"I guess I had better head out then." He said and with a wave, he made his way back home.

"See you later, Seaweed Brain!" Annabeth called out and Percy turned, but continued to walk backwards.

He lazily saluted in response. "Aye aye, Wise Girl!" He replied and Annabeth watched him leave with a smile.

Finally, she turned towards her house and unlocked the door, buzzing with excitement. She walked towards the stairs after slipping her shoes and socks off, but was surprised to see the kitchen light on.

With a shrug, she put her foot on the first step before stopping in shock when she heard a voice that hadn't spoken to her in weeks.

"Where the hell have you been?"

Swallowing audibly, Annabeth turned to see her mother sitting at the kitchen table, seething with fury at the sight of her daughter.

* * *

**A/N: Dun Dun Dunn: Cliffhanger! This chapter is obscenely long in comparison to my other ones and is rather fluffy, but I felt it was necessary. I hope that it didn't get boring to read - I like it a lot, but I am the writer so my opinion doesn't count. Anyhow, I hope you enjoyed the chapter and as always: Follow, Favorite, and Review!**

**PS: You should watch the movie "Remember Me". It's really really good. Also, you should read my new one shot: "Iron Hearts". I am awfully pleased with it and I would really appreciate if you would give it a read! **


	12. Eventide

**Eventide**

"Where the hell have you been?" Athena demanded, her hands crossed over her chest.

Annabeth gulped and turned to face her mother and wiped her suddenly clammy hands on her jeans. She tried to put on a brave face, but Athena's cold, calculating gray eyes pierced through her facade with ease.

"Mother." Annabeth croaked weakly.

Athena glared silently at her daughter for another second befor speaking once more. "Answer my question. Where. Have. You. Been?" She spat out, chewing out each word.

"I-I was out." Annabeth said quietly, realizing how stupid she sounded.

Her mother appeared to take offense to her response because a dangerous gleam passed through her eyes and her nostrils flared ever so slightly. Athena's hands pressed down against the wooden table table as she pushed herself up, scraping the chair back.

"Are you mocking my intelligence? I am perfectly aware that you were out. The question is, where did you go?" Athena exclaimed.

Annabeth recovered and managed to spin a good story. "I was volunteering at a homeless shelter with a friend from school." She said defiantly.

Athena cocked an eyebrow upwards in disbelief. "And you think that skipping school for that was justifiable?" She demanded.

Her daughter gasped slightly and Athena's eyes grew colder. "How naive do you think we are? Did you not think that we would find out?" She proclaimed.

"My actions were not intended to question your intelligence. I needed a day to breathe, and I don't think that's too much to ask. After all, I am going to be stone dead sometime in the near future." Annabeth said bitterly, hoping to cut her mother with her words, as selfish as that was.

Athena's response was thoroughly unexpected. "Oh, of course you won't." She stated and Annabeth looked up, her brow furrowed in confusion.

"What do you mean 'you won't'?" Annabeth questioned, suddenly feeling very apprehensive.

"The doctor's will cure you. You'll see." Athena declared so confidently it could have been gospel.

Annabeth had no words to say. "I have a one in three chance of surviving and that's _if_ I respond to chemo." She said slowly, hoping to reach her mother and drag her from whatever fantasy she was living in.

"You'll live." Her mother repeated.

Hesitantly, Annabeth took a step backward and her hand wrapped around the railing on the staircase to steady herself. She studied her mother with worry etched into every feature of her face as she sought desperately to find reason in her mother's face. Athena however remained firmly dogmatic and illogically confident that she would survive, as though her death wasn't even a possibility.

"Where's dad?" Annabeth questioned.

"Out. I'm not done with you, get back down here." Athena proclaimed, advancing towards her daughter.

Annabeth shook her head in dissent childishly and turned to escape but her mother exerted a vice like grip on her arm and dragged her into the kitchen. Athena sat back in her chair as her daughter rubbed her forearm. With a glare from her mother, Annabeth sat into the chair opposite her and continued to massage her bruised arm.

"What are you playing at, Annabeth?" Athena demanded.

"I just skipped one day of school! Calm down, I have always gone to school every single day for as long as I can remember, it's fine if I don't for one day." Annabeth protested, feeling exasperated.

Athena shook her head in agitation. "You can't afford to take things easy! College applications are right around the corner. We expect you to follow in Malcolm's footsteps, and you can't do that if you're taking days off." She insisted.

The words tumbled out of Annabeth's mouth before she could stop them. "I am not Malcolm! I never was and I never will be. I am my own person, and you need to acknowledge my limits. Why can't I be good enough for you?" She cried out.

Her mother's eyes narrowed and grew colder. "Stop being so dramatic and get over yourself, Annabeth. This is not some Disney movie; this is real life and you better stop treating it like a joke if you want to make it out there." She declared, jabbing her fingers at the door to gesture the world beyond their life of luxury.

Annabeth went quiet and her mother sank back in her chair and appraised her. "You've never seen the horrors of the outside world. You don't know what it is like to be failure and my job as your mother is to make sure that you never experience that. However, every time I push you to succeed, you just push back and it is _so_ frustrating." She said, sounding suddenly weary.

Annabeth hung her head in shame, not wanting to disappoint her mother and because she knew that she was right. "I'm not trying to resist. I just want you to let me walk on my own two feet instead of micromanaging me." She protested and her mother snorted.

"Yeah, and look where that took you - you played hookey and went to a 'homeless shelter'. For all I know, you could have been off with some boy, drinking and smoking." Athena said sardonically.

"You don't know me at all! You don't even trust me to make my own decisions when all I've ever done is strived to make you proud!" Annabeth cried, tears pooling in her eyes.

Athena regarded her coolly, seemingly unperturbed by her daughter's words and anguish. "I know you - you are my daughter and that is enough for me." She said harshly and Annabeth shoved her chair back and ran upstairs.

She slammed the door and locked it before slumping up against it and letting her tears flow more freely. With everything crumbling around her and the constant circulation of drugs in her system, Annabeth felt weaker than she had ever felt and she hated it.

Weakness was an alien concept to her. She was a champion. Ever since her birth, she had been bred like a race horse for one single purpose: to win. And win Annabeth did. She won and won and won, but it never seemed enough. Her medals and awards and certificates were nothing more than hollow victories which did nothing to fill the empty spaces inside her where uncertainty and doubt bubbled. They were poisons that threatened to corrupt and destroy her and so she tread carefully, pursuing a very strict regimen that was almost militaristic in nature.

However, no matter how closely she adhered to her routine, it was never enough. No matter how hard she ran, Malcolm's shadow stretched infinitely behind him, constantly basking her in its inescapable darkness. Slowly, her dreams became smaller and smaller as the doubts and stress mounted unbearably.

And so the tear drops fell like waterfalls from her bloodshot eyes, and she felt like a caged bird, unable to open her wings.

Had she really just spent an entire day with Percy at a homeless shelter? Why did it seem like it happened ages ago instead of earlier today?

The thought caused Annabeth to pad over to her window and open it. With one backward glance, she vaulted out and landed ungracefully in a jumble of entangled bones and appendages. She quickly got on her feet and dusted her jeans off before running down the dark street.

She found Percy sitting at the bus stand and felt relief bubble up inside her and wash the weariness away from her psyche. Percy shot her a confused look as she raced towards him, now running at a sprint to bridge the distance between them. With every step she took towards him, she felt better and better.

"Gosh Annabeth, I know that I'm awesome and everything, but can't you manage to stay away from me for more than fifteen minutes?" he teased, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

Annabeth choked out a laugh as she fought for breath, and it sounded hoarse and slightly hysterical. She bent over and rested her hands on her thighs, gulping more air than her lungs would allow. When a hand rested on her shoulder, she started but relaxed when it was just Percy, who had risen from his seat, and not her mother.

"Hey, are you alright?" Percy asked, his voice laden with concern.

For once, Annabeth didn't attempt to hide behind a mask of indifference or nonchalance and submitted to her feelings. "No, I am not alright." She said bluntly and she felt like a load had been lifted off her chest. Unfortunately, said load was now on Percy's chest since he had to worry about her and try to fix things now.

_Selfish as always, Annabeth. _She thought wryly to herself.

"How can I help?" Percy asked and Annabeth smiled despite her situation and selfishness.

"I need a place to stay," she said and he froze beside her.

_Oh crap, overstepping boundaries, overstepping boundaries. _

"I-Is that alright?" Annabeth asked nervously, toying a strand of her hair to keep from biting her fingers.

She did _not_ want to stay at home with her mother tonight. All she wanted was to get as far away from her mom, her house, and her life.

Percy's eyes remained forward and he was still rigid when he answered. "Yes, you can stay at my place." Percy said curtly, a sense of objective formality lacing his voice.

Annabeth placed a gentle hand on his forearm and squeezed. "You don't have to let me if you don't want to," she said quietly and Percy finally met her eyes again and his eyes pierced straight through her.

A small smirk passed across his features. "Believe me, you won't want to stay after you see it," he joked, but Annabeth could detect an undertone of shame and worry beneath his words.

"I won't judge you, you know." Annabeth proclaimed and Percy attempted to shrug nonchalantly, but seeing as how she could see right through it, the gesture was ultimately vacuous.

They sat in companionable silence until the bus arrived (Annabeth paid for both of them despite Percy's protests) and somewhere along the ride downtown, Annabeth fell asleep, resting her head on Percy's shoulder.

As the bus drove on through the still night, Percy looked at the girl sleeping on his shoulder and, not for the first time, attempted to assess how he felt about her. There was something that he felt when he looked at her sleeping form. She seemed to age backwards in her sleep, looking like an innocent ten year old than her normal worried self.

He noticed the discrete splay of freckles peppering her nose in a manner that was subtle yet adorable. He noticed the way she would puff short bursts of hot air against his cold, pale neck and how his hairs would rise in response. He noticed the way that her slender form heaved with every breath she took and how it deflated with every breath she released.

Oh, indeed there was something that he felt growing inside him when he looked at her. At first, he likened it to a parasite, slowly destroying its host, but he now realized he was completely wrong. It was far more like a seed, spreading its roots about his heart, pervading his thoughts, and growing ever larger with each passing day that they spent together.

It had only been a month, but this tiny tiny seedling that Annabeth had planted in his heart had taken root, anchoring itself firmly, and try as he might, he could never seem to get rid of it. At some point, he realized that he rather liked this sapling and instead of trying to uproot it, he just let it be, so that it was free to grow.

As he mused, a stray strand of Annabeth's flaxen hair broke free and dropped across her face. Almost on instinct, Percy's hand went and gently placed it behind her ear, locking it in place.

He smiled to himself when she nuzzled her face against his neck, burrowing further into him. With a sense of hesitancy, Percy wrapped an arm around her shoulder and leaned his head against her hair and shivered as it softly tickled his cheek.

He closed his eyes and breathed deeply, filling his lungs with air and his olfactory senses with her intoxicating fragrance of lemon, coffee, and paper. It was a smell that was just so _Annabeth _that he smiled to himself before closing his eyes as well.

And then suddenly the bus stopped at its destination and when Percy groggily opened his eyes, it was like he never slept at all. With a probing hand, he roused Annabeth from her slumber and they both stumbled out of the bus and made for Percy's home, but when they walked, they were detached from one another.

After a few minutes of walking, the pair finally arrived at Percy's house and Annabeth took a moment to drink it all in. It was a crumbling, decaying building with absolutely no structural support, but she walked in anyways. When they walked into the dark foyer, Annabeth swore that she heard rats scampering around in the shadows.

They walked up a musty staircase and rounded a corner before Percy opened a door and wheeled them both after it. Annabeth blinked in the darkness of the apartment, feeling thoroughly lost. She wished that Percy would turn on the light, but he didn't. She didn't know if it was because he was too embarrassed to let her see anything or if it was because the lighting didn't work.

Percy's hands found hers silently and after squeezing reassuringly, he led her through the darkness with an infallible sense of direction and they emerged into a bedroom. The moonlight filtered through the clouded windows and cast a gentle silvery glow about the surrounding.

Annabeth looked around and saw the fraying carpet which was littered with candy wrappers and chip bags. A heap of clothes lay in one corner of the room, and books were scattered about intermittently. Apart from that, there was really nothing more to the bedroom. Ironically, it lacked a bed of any sort.

"If I knew you were coming, I would have cleaned the place up beforehand." Percy joked, but when Annabeth looked at him, he was almost jittering with nervousness. His sea green eyes were downcast and they swam with shame leaving Annabeth wishing that she could just steal all his pain and suffering away.

"It's nice." Annabeth said simply and honestly.

Percy didn't appear to buy her statement, but said nothing in contrast. Annabeth suddenly plopped onto the ground and Percy followed her a short while later. A fraction of a second passed before their hands brushed, both asking silent permission in place of words that they couldn't and wouldn't say. Their hands then firmly entangled themselves and they sat there in the moonlight, wondering.

"What happened?" Percy asked, breaking the silence.

Annabeth sighed wearily. "My mom and I had a fight," she explained and Percy nodded to indicate he understood.

"Well, stay as long as you can stand to," he said and Annabeth's lips curved upwards in a smile.

He didn't ask her to explain, letting her determine whether she wanted to talk or not. He didn't press her and act like he had some sort of magical solution that would solve her problems and make her hurt melt away. She loved that about him.

It was one of the many little things that Annabeth loved about him. These little things built upon each other and eventually became something tangible that Annabeth could never get enough of. These little things were always there, unchanging and unwavering in their existence, and that made them genuine. These little things made Percy in all his imperfect perfection.

They both laid down on their backs, but their hands never left each other. It was as though they comprised a single entity enjoined by only their hands; an entity made out of their collective identities to become something that infinitely greater than the sum of each individual part. The release of their hands would spell the being's definite death, and that was something that neither Percy nor Annabeth would permit.

And so the lay there, hands intertwined as they rested in the moonlight. Annabeth heard another rat scamper and she shivered inadvertently when a vision of a horde of rats swarming her body and eating her alive flashed before her eyes. Percy's grip tightened and the image instantly dispelled, but her heart was still beating furiously.

"My mom thinks that I am a disappointment and that I don't try hard enough." Annabeth said, mostly to distract herself from the telltale pattering of feet that reminded her that they weren't alone.

"Oh, why is that?" Percy asked.

"She was upset that I missed school today and she said that I couldn't afford to be lax if I wanted to succeed," she said, feeling more comfortable now because Percy became more present as he spoke.

Percy gave her a sidelong glance that she noticed, and she bit her lip. "I have a feeling your mother would love to have me as a child," he teased.

Annabeth grinned. "She would drown you and claim it was a swimming lesson gone wrong," she replied instantly and when he laughed beside her, she joined him shortly after.

Percy rested his head on its side so that he could see her more clearly and Annabeth did the same. "Your mom doesn't know how good she's got it. Trust me when I say she really lucked out in the daughter department," he whispered and Annabeth felt her insides warm pleasantly.

She smiled genuinely at him and he smiled back, and both their eyes were alight with merriment and vitality absent at all other times. Then they both brought their heads back upright and stared at the cracks in the ceiling where they could make out the stars in the night sky.

"You know, my mother always used to say that the sky was just an ocean that floated above our heads and that the stars were just pearls. She said that when it rained, it was just the droplets leaking from one sea into another." Percy said softly, his voice heavy with melancholy.

Annabeth turned to see him and noted the wistful smile on his face. His eyes met hers for a second before he looked back up at the sky.

"I remember asking her once if I could just swim up to the sky and leave Earth behind. She looked at me, straight in the eyes, and told me that I could. I told her that if I ever did, I would come back and steal her away with me, and that we would both live happily among the stars." He continued, his voice no louder than a whisper, and Annabeth felt her heart squirm with sorrow.

"Percy, what happened to her?" she asked him and was shocked when she saw a solitary tear slide down his face.

"I-I'm sorry," he began, voice trembling, "I can't, I can't." He repeated and Annabeth felt her chest constrict as she sat up. With great restrain, Percy pulled a brave face back on and offered Annabeth a weak smile while she stared concernedly at him.

"Sorry 'bout that," he croaked, trying to sound nonchalant, but failing miserably.

Annabeth looked at him with a hard expression on her face and her silvery gray eyes bored into his. "Percy, you don't have to be strong for me." She said and that was what did him in.

He began to sob violently and Annabeth wordlessly held him against her, running her hands through his silky ebony hair while whispering comforting nothings.

Percy's hand scrunched the base of Annabeth's shirt for support and he calmed himself down before staring at her with glistening eyes.

"She died." He said suddenly and Annabeth nodded because deep inside, she felt like she knew all along.

"I'm sorry," she whispered to him.

He turned his head away and stared at the night sky, his expression mournful. "Yeah, me too."

Somehow, they both fell asleep as the weight of their troubles and the world finally became too much for them. They would find themselves entangled in the morning; Annabeth's head and left hand resting on Percy's chest as she clung to him like a lifeline, and Percy with his arms wrapped around her slender frame, forming a protective cocoon.

* * *

**A/N: Hello everyone! This chapter is chock full of poetic musings and I went a little overboard with it, but I loved it too much to get rid of it. Anyhow, I hope you liked it and if you did, please: Follow, Favorite, and Review! Last chapter there weren't that many reviews, so lets see if we can break the 300 mark with this one!**

**Also, I have a new story and one shot out! The story is called "Treading Water" and it's all about Nico and is very similar to this story in tone, so give it a read if you like this one. The one shot is called "The Biggest Scam" and it has a really interesting plot twist at the end. I would be grateful if you would spare five minutes of your day to give them a read and drop a review. Thanks! **


	13. Ascension

**Ascension**

The mumbled curses flew out of Annabeth's mouth as she readjusted her outfit for the millionth time. She looked into the mirror and scrutinized her appearance with shrewd eyes. Tonight was the night she and Percy were going to complete the next item off the bucket list: night clubbing and drinking. Percy refused to drink, but he said that he would accompany her to the night club just to make sure she didn't get into too much trouble.

She was touched and relieved that he would be there because she didn't want to be taken advantage of when she was tipsy. Annabeth had a little trouble controlling her alcohol which might have stemmed from the fact that she relied on her brain more so than others and as such, couldn't tolerate it when her thought process was impaired.

With one final tug at the hem of her silver one shoulder shirt, she walked out of her room and went to the garage to back her car out of the drive way. She put the Mercedes in reverse, backing out of her driveway, and then she was off. As she drove downtown she thought about the night that she spent at Percy's three weeks ago. It wasn't the first time she ever thought about it, and it certainly wasn't going to be the last.

Something was happening between them, and she could feel it. Everything seemed to be building towards one moment, but she couldn't be sure what that moment was and if it would be good or bad.

Annabeth shook her head to clear herself of that feeling of apprehension that was welling in her chest. It wouldn't do well to dwell on such thoughts because she had no capacity to influence them. However, that still didn't stop the sensation from brewing and festering in the back of her mind.

Thirty minutes later, Annabeth strolled into the night club and made her way around to try to find Percy. The task was easier said than done due to the general frantic chaos and atmosphere of the club. Bass was thumping, bodies writhing, conversation sparkling, drinks flowing, but Percy was nowhere in her sight.

She somehow managed to find him sitting alone at the bar, staring at the varnished counter top while the bar tender moved freely about, shaking and pouring drinks. There was no way she going to fool a guy like him if she asked for a drink, so she hoped that someone older would offer to buy her one. Annabeth plopped into the seat next to Percy and he looked at her tiredly and smiled.

"What's wrong?" Annabeth hollered over the sound of the club.

Percy merely shook his head in response, indicating that it was nothing to worry about. Instead, he turned to her and flashed her a warm smile that made his gaunt look disappear and Annabeth grinned reflexively. His eyes ran along her profile and for a brief second she swore that she saw disappointment flash in his eyes before disappearing again.

On instinct, Annabeth frowned and looked at her attire to see if there was something off about it. It looked fine to her: a tight, silver one shoulder top that showed off her tanned shoulders, a pair of tight fitting jeans that accentuated her curves, and her gray converse.

When she looked back up at Percy questioningly, he merely shrugged indifferently, but she knew that there was something that he wasn't telling her. She cast another look about the club when a song that she liked came on and she tugged at Percy's hand to get him to dance. His eyes widened and he furiously shook his head no, but Annabeth put on her best pouty face and he sagged slightly, feeling his resolve weaken.

In protest, he tapped his left foot twice to say that he had two left feet, but Annabeth simply laughed and waived it off before dragging him to the dance floor. He came grudgingly, but there was a small smile on his face as she led him through the crowd.

They found an empty spot on the dance floor somehow and Annabeth turned to him with an expectant look in her eyes. He gave her a panicked look and she bit back her smile, shaking her head at him before guiding his hands towards her waist. Percy shook his head furiously, and Annabeth paused, feeling hurt. However, when Percy's hand guided one of hers to his shoulder, and when his other took hers in his own, she had to smile at the corniness of it all.

They began to do some sort of pseudo-Waltz that oddly fit into the entire club scene even though it was old fashioned. Percy grinned at her as they danced, often tripping over their feet, but enjoying themselves nonetheless. Annabeth laughed brightly and her heart felt like it was soaring as she danced. She admired that Percy was respectful enough to not want to grind on her, and preferred to dance in a more proper manner.

After a while they grew tired and Annabeth dragged him to the bar, but Percy looked displeased to be sitting in such close proximity to the alcohol. He shot the drinks a poisonous look that didn't go unnoticed by Annabeth. She was just about to pluck up the courage to use her crappy fake ID when she felt someone tap her shoulder, the one that was exposed by the shirt.

She turned to see a handsome college boy smiling down at her, a drink in hand. Annabeth gave him an inquisitive look and he mouthed, "Can I buy you a drink?", and Annabeth nodded nonchalantly, trying to act like she didn't really care.

The new guy got her a beer and she sipped on it happily, and he sat down on the stool next to her. He stuck his hand out and Annabeth shook it, impressed that he was trying be a normal human being instead of trying to hit on her with pick up lines.

"I'm Dylan, what's your name?" He called over the music.

"Annabeth!" She called back to him.

"Well, Annabeth, I must say that you look really hot tonight." Dylan said, a cocky smirk on his face.

Annabeth blushed slightly, and began to twirl her hair flirtatiously.

Then the two began talking and flirting shamelessly with one another, and Annabeth continued to drink her beer, slowly feeling her inhibitions crumble. She learned that Dylan was a freshman in college, and he was underage to be drinking, but the bar tender was his older brother so he got free drinks anyways. He was an attractive guy, with light brown hair and a winning smile that probably won many a girl over, so when Dylan invited her to dance, she quickly accepted and together they stumbled to the dance floor.

It was then that Annabeth remembered that she came there with Percy, and she tried to look for him. He was sitting on the same stool that he sat in when he walked in and when Annabeth's eyes met his, she asked him a silent question if she could dance with Dylan, and Percy smiled and gave her the go ahead. With a grateful smile, she returned her attention back to the attractive boy next to her.

What she didn't see was the way that Percy had hastily plastered a smile on his face when she met his eyes. What she didn't see was the way that Percy looked at her with disappointment as she left. What she didn't see was the strange look that settled in his eyes when he saw her flirting with Dylan.

Percy was sure that he didn't feel jealous about Annabeth and her new boy toy. He was just extremely disappointed. First, she had come into the club wearing that rather revealing outfit, but he held his tongue even though he disapproved; it wasn't his place or right to dictate what she was allowed to wear. Now, she was off flirting and dancing with some random guy that she had just met, completely forgetting that he was there in the first place.

Now, and not for the first time, he wondered if he was just being tooled by Annabeth. He didn't want to believe that she was using him - he had hoped that she was better than that, and even if she wasn't, that at least he might be able to change that mentality. Maybe that was asking for too much.

He realized now why he was doing all of this. It was all to make sure that in the event that Annabeth actually did die, that she died with dignity, as someone that people would have been proud to know. Percy didn't want her to die as superficial as she was when he had first met her because that would have been a crime.

There was something there in her that only he could see. She was good, she was pure, she was honest, but she never allowed herself to be. Percy's mission was to make sure that everyone saw her for how astounding she truly was, but she seemed to be too terrified to let anyone else see. She still hadn't learned, even though she was dying, that if those close to her couldn't accept her for herself, then they were nothing more than fakes that never really cared about her in the first place.

Before she died, he just had to change her into someone that _she_ would be proud of. That someone was not the girl he saw before him now: wearing revealing clothing to make herself look desirable, clinging to random boys that clearly had ulterior motives, and trying to drink just for the hell of it. There was no way that he would let her die like that because that's what people would remember. They would only remember her for being just another ditzy, superficial teenage girl, but she was so much more than that and he was going to make her see that.

The song changed and Percy snapped out of his musings. His finger which had previously been tracing rings on the varnished countertop stopped moving, and he shoved his hands in pockets before looking around.

When he saw Annabeth grinding against the college guy, he thought that he was going to be physically sick. There was something just so _wrong_ about the whole thing. Call him old fashioned or whatever you want, but girls didn't have to throw their bodies like that and the person that invented such lewd dancing should be shot.

He stood up and decided to wait outside to clear his head and avoid seeing her like that because it strangely made him hurt. It was annoying really - he honestly shouldn't have cared about her behavior, but he couldn't seem to ignore it and he felt saddened.

Even if she was using him, he owed it to himself to at least try to improve her character. It was alright in the long run, Percy was accustomed to being used, stepped on, beat up - you name it. At least this time, something good would come out of it all.

Right before he passed through the door, he saw Dylan press his lips against Annabeth's, and he strode outside before he could see anything more.

Annabeth noticed Percy leaving the club, wearing a indecipherable expression on his face, and she was about to excuse herself when Dylan leaned in and kissed her. At first, she was taken aback, but then she responded and kissed him back. It wasn't anything amazing, but hey, a kiss was a kiss, so it still felt pretty damn good even when it was bad.

She broke away and excused herself, leaving Dylan looking confused as she sped through the crowd to go outside. The door flung open and as it closed, so to did the chaotic world of the club and the excess. She spotted Percy sitting against the curb a short distance away from the club. When she sat down besides him, he didn't even attempt to look at her, and she began to feel guilty about leaving him.

"Hey! What're you doing out here?" Annabeth ventured.

"I felt like I was suffocating in there," he replied emotionlessly.

"We can leave if you like," she suggested nervously.

He smiled wryly at her. "No, you go on and dance until you're through. It was what you wrote on the list and I don't want to be a killjoy, so go on and enjoy yourself. Don't let me ruin things for you," he said wistfully.

Annabeth twirled her hair nervously to keep from biting her fingers. "It's not the same without you," she said honestly.

"Didn't seem that way when that pervert was shoving his tongue down your throat." Percy said vitriolically.

She flushed and felt embarrassed; she didn't think that he had seen.

"Dylan's a nice guy." Annabeth said hotly, trying to defend herself.

Percy snorted condescendingly, his eyes still trained at some fixed point in the distance whereas Annabeth couldn't seem to keep her eyes off him. "Hate to break it to you, but 'Dylan' was undressing you with his eyes the second he saw you," Percy countered and Annabeth struggled to find a defense.

"You're just imagining that because you're jealous," she accused, trying to find anything to respond with.

A mordant smile twisted across his lips. "Hmm, the aromantic getting jealous about a boy lusting after a girl; never heard that one before," he said sarcastically.

"Then why are you so worked up about this!" Annabeth cried out, feeling irritated.

"Because you're better than that!" Percy exploded and Annabeth shrunk back under the intensity of his emotion.

He finally turned to her, his eyes burning with profound disappointment, and suddenly Annabeth felt shameful and despondent. She hated seeing him look at her like that, with disappointment. It hurt her more than anything else in the world.

"Because you're better than that," he repeated, his voice softer, but laden with disappointment.

"I'm sorry," Annabeth said honestly, but Percy shook his head with a sad smile on his face.

"You don't understand. You just don't understand," he said weakly, and Annabeth felt empty.

"Then help me understand!" She cried out, desperate to grasp what he meant.

Percy sat silently for a while, deep in thought as he gazed into the distance. He seemed to be mentally wrestling with something, but she didn't know what. She squirmed impatiently, waiting for him to speak.

"Do you know how alcohol affects the body, Annabeth?" He asked, finally breaking the silence.

Annabeth frowned and shook her head no.

Percy tucked in his knees and looked at her. "Well, what happens is alcohol enters your body and affects two neurotransmitters which spread chemical signals through your body," he said, before pausing for effect. Annabeth had absolutely no idea where he was going with any of this.

"One of the receptors it binds and activates is the GABA receptor, an inhibitory neurotransmitter, which basically impairs how your nerve cells work, particularly in the brain. Alcohol simulates a GABA molecule to prevent some of your neurons from firing. The second type of receptor that it blocks is glutamate receptors which are excitatory ones. It blocks them to prevent glutamate from actually binding with it which also means that your brain cells won't fire as fast," Percy explained.

Then he looked forward, the gaunt look from before returning once again. "That's one of the reasons I drink," he said softly after a while, and his words wrought Annabeth's stomach in knots.

"I drink because I want to shut the world out. I just want to forget, if only for a little while, what a messed up world we live in. It just dulls the pain and it feels so good to be able to not feel for once," he continued sadly, and Annabeth felt sympathy well up inside her.

He took a deep breath before turning to her and looking her straight in the eyes. "What I am trying to say is that I drank to drown out the world for the longest time because I couldn't stand it. In my eyes, there was nothing here worth noticing, nothing worth appreciating, nothing worth saving," Percy said before pausing for effect.

After one final breath he continued. "That was until I met you, and I am not talking about the bullshit that you pull at school; I am talking about the real you. I am talking about the one that can feel scared, the one that wants to build something permanent, the one that wants to take Piper shopping for clothes. That's who I am talking about, and for once in my life, I saw something worth noting, worth appreciating, worth saving." He exclaimed, letting his last few words linger, and by this time, Annabeth's eyes began to burn with tears more so than before.

He smiled at Annabeth wistfully, his voice dropping to whisper. "Now I am one month sober. Ever since we became friends, I haven't needed the alcohol because for once, my existence became tolerable, maybe even enjoyable." Annabeth felt her throat tighten painfully at his words.

"Can you see why I am getting worked up? It's because you're putting on a show, Annabeth, for all of the wrong people. You care so much about what other people think, but you don't realize, _even though you are on your death bed_, that they don't _fucking_ matter. What good is it to live in this world if you aren't living your life the way you want to?" He challenged, and she hung her head to disguise her anguish, and to try to escape his brutally honest words that cut through her like knives.

"I'm trying-" Annabeth started, but he cut her off.

"No you are not! If you were trying, then you would been fine coming here in your pajamas, but I am willing to bet my life that you stood in front of your mirror and stressed about your clothes, trying a bunch of them on to decide which one you looked 'hotter' in." Percy exclaimed, drawing air quotes.

"News flash, Annabeth: You're beautiful. Don't ruin it," he said seriously and Annabeth gaped at him.

He jabbed his finger in the direction of the night club. "Don't dress provocatively for jerks like Dylan. You are already gorgeous, so you don't need to constantly try to overplay that fact. Just be the way you are - don't give superficial people an excuse to prey on you," Percy said defiantly, his piercing sea green eyes boring into Annabeth's.

His expression softened marginally. "You're better than that, Annabeth, and I swear that I will make you see that." He whispered and now, tears did escape Annabeth's eyes before she crushed him in a hug.

Percy enveloped her in his arms and rubbed her back comfortingly. When Annabeth pulled away, she gave him a watery smile. "Thanks for being such a great best friend. I really needed to hear that." Annabeth whispered, and Percy waived it off.

"Hey, what are best friends for? I am sorry I was so harsh, but I just can't stand seeing you like that. Now, you have to promise me that you'll try to let go of this, alright?" He asked gently and she grinned at him.

"Do or do not. There is no try," she said in a croaky old voice and Percy laughed brightly.

"Yoda - I am impressed," he confessed in admiration.

"Come on, let's leave before Dylan comes back." Annabeth said, shivering slightly, and he grinned down at her.

"Why, I thought he was a 'nice guy'?" Percy teased, causing Annabeth to scoff at him.

"Jerk," she mumbled and he laughed so she punched him playfully.

Together, they stood up and made their away from the noisy night club and settled for just wandering about the city streets, happy to converse with one another about everything and nothing. After all, the night was still young.

* * *

On Monday, Annabeth walked out of her Mercedes and swung her old backpack from her middle school years on her back before walking into the school. She navigated through the bustle and suddenly all conversation stopped as everyone turned to look at her. Annabeth could see the looks of shock and disbelief on their faces, but she merely smirked to herself. Then she saw Percy and her heart soared when she saw the pride shining in his eyes, and they smiled warmly at each other.

Silena was the first to break the silence, and said what had been lingering on everyone else's minds.

"Oh my god, Annabeth, what in the world are you wearing?" She shrieked incredulously.

* * *

**A/N: Hello everyone! I apologize in advance - this chapter was sloppy. However, I loved the dialogue so much that I decided to let it fly since I didn't feel like reworking everything else. I hope you all liked it, and as always: Follow, Favorite, and Review!**

**Rambling begins (Ignore this unless you're interested or bored):  
****1. My evil-ex returns - **For those of you don't know, I had a girlfriend before and we had a really bad break up that screwed with me. If you want the specifics, read Chapter 33 of "Demigod Adventures" to learn more. Anyhow, I decided to join track again because I am a pretty good runner, and the only reason I stayed away was because she is super involved and this year, she became captain. However, I decided that I couldn't keep avoiding doing things that I love just to avoid her, so I have decided to rejoin track. Yeah, wish me luck...

**2. I apparently don't trust females... **This ties into number one, but ever since the whole debacle with my ex-girlfriend, I have become kind of predisposed to disliking and distrusting females that I interact, but it was largely psychological so I didn't even notice until I really sat down and thought about why I have been making all my female characters so awful. I realized that I get some sort of sadistic (don't know if that's _exactly_ the word to describe it) pleasure to really bash on female characters in my story, and it's really strange because I am big supporter of feminist empowerment movements and I have always treated girls extremely respectfully, but I realized that I just don't frankly trust them anymore. Don't put me on a pedestal because I am not as great as you all seem to make me out to be, and I feel uncomfortable accepting your praise. Really, I am just as screwed up as everyone else, it's just that I get hurt rather than hurt others. I guess more than anything, that realization just really makes me sad, that one person managed to ruin my faith in an entire gender, and that I am weak enough to succumb to that lack of faith. So yeah, no hate to all of you wonderful female readers out there, I know that you are all infinitely awesomer than my ex-girlfriend, and I apologize if I offended anyone.


	14. Metamorphosis

**Metamorphosis**

Silena finally broke the silence, a shrill screech escaping from her mouth, "Oh my god, Annabeth, what in the world are you wearing?"

Lo and behold, Annabeth was wearing a ratty old volunteering shirt that she found buried deep in her closet, a pair of well worn jeans, some old but very comfortable sneakers, and to top off the ensemble, her secret pair of glasses that she reserved only for emergencies. They were these thick, black, ugly glasses that she swore never to wear in public, but wearing them right now, she felt utterly and completely liberated.

The shirt was baggy and rather scrappy, and the jeans didn't do anything to hug or flatter Annabeth's figure much either. The sneakers looked rather mucked up and that was expected considering that they were her running shoes. In truth, she felt like she looked hideous, but oddly enough, she didn't really mind too much. It was nice not to have to dress for other people for once, and to just wear things that felt comfortable and good on her. Now, her clothes felt like a second skin instead of thin material stretched too liberally across her body.

Annabeth cast a nervous furtive glance at Percy to gauge his reaction, and he merely tipped his head down in a gesture of approval.

Silena stalked over, utterly bamboozled. In different circumstances, Annabeth might have laughed at her expression, but now she felt apprehensive instead and prepared herself for a scene.

After taking a hasty glance around, Annabeth could see that the other kids were still milling around, watching their interaction and Annabeth with a sense of confusion and malicious amusement. Only Percy stood stoically, radiating calm and approval, which made her feel more grounded and sure of herself.

Once Silena made her way over and appraised her, Annabeth drew herself up straighter, determined not to give an inch. Silena remained impassive as she examined her shrewdly as though she was a bacteria underneath a microscope. Annabeth found it thoroughly unnerving, but she held her tongue.

"Annabeth, your clothes... what is this?" Silena asked, the confusion evident in her tone.

Shifting slightly, Annabeth met her eyes and stared her down. "What's wrong with it?" she challenged, bracing herself for battle.

After glancing at her friend with a look of undisguised exasperation, Silena grabbed her by the arm and shoved her into an empty classroom, closing the door behind her. When she turned around, she looked furious.

"What the hell are you trying to do here, Annabeth? Do you _want_ to advertise yourself as a loser?" Silena hissed, her tone caustic.

Annabeth narrowed her eyes at her friend. "Why? Am I not allowed to dress differently?" she challenged, meeting Silena's tone.

Silena looked at her like she was a mutant from a different planet. "Annabeth, I don't know what you are trying to prove, but this has got to stop. I have some emergency clothes in my backpack that might fit you. I'll run to my locker and grab them, so you stay right here. We'll fix this yet," she said with fierce determination, and made to leave, but Annabeth stopped her.

"Silena, you're overreacting - I want to dress this way," Annabeth pointed out, and now Silena looked like she had been slapped across the face.

"You _want_ to dress like this? What in the world is wrong with you? You look like a tramp!" Silena exclaimed hysterically.

Annabeth recoiled, feeling insulted, before advancing upon her friend. "I am not going to dress like some sort of sleaze ball anymore. I am going to respect myself and my body by dressing the way that I want to, not for you or anyone else!" Annabeth stated defiantly.

Her friend stepped back and held her palms outward saying, "Look Annabeth, this is not some cheesy high school TV show - this is real life. It's cool and all that you're trying to, I don't know, try something new or whatever, but you can't dress like this as a popular girl. It just won't fly."

The two girls stared each other down, and Annabeth attempted to speak, but the door opened and Katie walked in, peering from behind the door. Katie looked at her two friends hesitantly, and she could practically feel the tension in the room.

"Um, is everything alright, you two?" Katie asked cautiously, but neither Annabeth nor Silena turned to acknowledge her.

"Everything is _fine_, Katie. Annabeth here has decided to swim in dangerous waters, and I for one am not going to hold her back." Silena exclaimed sharply, and Katie winced.

Silena began to storm out of the room when Annabeth called out after her, "I don't need your help, Beauregard. I can take care of myself!"

Katie nervously stepped into the room and walked towards her friend, closing the door softly behind her. She took a long look at her before her face broke out into a grin.

"Loving the new look, Annie!" she exclaimed, and Annabeth smiled, relieved that at least one of her friends didn't seem to mind.

"Thanks, Katy Kat," she responded wearily, and they both sat down on some abandoned desks in the classroom.

"Not that I am against this or anything, but what's with the clothes?" Katie inquired and Annabeth shrugged.

"I guess it's just that I don't really care about what people think anymore," she said, and Katie appraised her impassively.

She looked like she chose her next words with caution. "Annabeth, is this all because you've been spending more time with Percy?"

Annabeth looked her sharply, wondering where this was going. "Why does that matter?"

Katie took a deep breath before she began. "Listen Annie, I am just looking out for you so don't chew my head off, but that boy is not normal and you shouldn't be hanging out with him or doing whatever it is that you two do. Don't let him convince you to change your lifestyle to become something that you aren't."

"What are you talking about? It's because of Percy that I realized that I have been pretending here at school for everyone, pleasing people that I don't need to please. If I can't be true to myself, then what's the point? I refuse to live someone else's life just to make everyone else happy," Annabeth exclaimed and Katie shook her head.

"You can't just ignore everyone and do as you please Annabeth. Can't you see that people will start calling you a freak if you dress this way? You're lucky that no one other than me knows about your _thing_ with Percy. Otherwise, you could kiss your status goodbye," Katie stated.

The blond shook her head and laughed humorlessly. "Why should I care Katie? It doesn't mean anything," she said pointedly.

"Means nothing? Annabeth, _this_ is our lifestyle, _this_ is how things work around here. We are on top of the school, we get invited to all the good parties, get all the cute boys, and generally just enjoy the high school experience. You can't look me in the eyes and tell me that that is a bad deal," Katie said, but Annabeth smiled wryly.

"We do it to feel important Katie. We do it to feel wanted or admired. I have just realized that I don't need that anymore. I like being me, and if that's not good enough for you or for anyone else, then that is fine by me," Annabeth declared defiantly and Katie looked at her impassively.

She took a deep breath and put her fingers over her closed eye lids. "Whatever, Annabeth. This is your call, and I'll stick by your side, but I won't be able to take the heat for you when you receive it, that's on you. I guess I can accept the new wardrobe, but you're walking a thin line here and I am not sure your ready to deal with the consequences," Katie said before leaving the classroom, leaving Annabeth alone.

The rest of the day passed by strangely, with the student body gaping at her whenever she walked by. Mostly people murmured to themselves about her change in appearance, but there were a couple bold students that outwardly insulted her. Her friends scared them off for the most part, but it still hurt to be insulted because she wasn't really used to it.

Thalia and Rachel were completely onboard with the whole transformation; Thalia because she thought that it was antiestablishment, Rachel because she thought that it was avant-garde in a feminist kind of way. Silena was outwardly disapproving of it, and Katie remained wary about the whole deal. Annabeth was just relieved that they hadn't ditched her at first sight, but she was still adjusting to the weird looks people were giving her.

More than anything, she wanted to find Percy to talk to him about this, but with her friends around, she didn't want to dig her hole any deeper. Oddly, for the majority of the day, she didn't really even catch a glimpse of him, which made her nervous.

_After all, this whole thing was his idea, so why was he strangely invisible now?_ Annabeth thought to herself.

For a panic stricken minute, Annabeth became doubtful about the whole thing. What if this was all just a big mistake? What if Percy honestly didn't care about her and was just trying to make her look bad? Those thoughts left as quickly as they came, but Annabeth still felt a tinge of doubt in the back of her mind.

At lunch, she managed to elude her friends and snuck over to Percy's table where he was sitting alone, holding a copy of Byron in his hands. Funnily enough, he had a carton of chocolate milk in the other hand and was drinking it through a strand of blue licorice. When Annabeth plopped into the chair across from him, he peered over his book with an expression of great sagacity.

"Ah, Annabeth! To what do I owe the pleasure," he said, his voice formal and dignified.

Annabeth's lips curved upwards into a smile. "Oh dear god, Byron's gotten to you already hasn't he?" she said, miming a horror stricken expression.

Percy grinned at her boyishly in that lopsided manner that made her heart spin, and said, "Methinks the wench be right!"

"Wench?! Why, you have got some nerve!" Annabeth said, mock seriously, and Percy laughed.

"Sorry 'bout that. Anyway, what's up Wise Girl?" he asked, putting the book down before him.

Annabeth fidgeted nervously, looking down at the table before looking up again at him. "I am not entirely sure that this is such a good idea, Seaweed Brain," she whispered quietly.

Percy looked at her impassively, and spoke carefully. "I thought that this is what you wanted, Annabeth."

"No, I do want this, don't get me wrong. It's just that... I feel really self-conscious, that's all," she confided, and Percy nodded.

"Well in the words of Lord Byron, 'Adversity is the first path to truth.'" Percy said sagely.

Shaking her head, Annabeth smiled to herself, feeling slightly better. Percy sighed beside her.

"Things are going to be difficult, Annabeth. I never promised that this would be easy, but I did promise that it would be worthwhile. And as with all things worthwhile, you have to fight for it with every fiber in your body because some things are just too precious to let slip away," he said quietly, staring intently at her as he spoke.

For a second, Annabeth couldn't shake the feeling that he was referring to something other than her predicament. Oddly enough, she felt a blush rise to her face at the thought, but before she could interrogate further, she felt a hand clamp down on her shoulder harshly.

She turned up and saw Luke towering over her, looking at Percy with hate in his eyes. A burst of nervousness traveled throughout her system, and she feared for Percy's safety.

"What is going on here?" Luke asked, his voice strained.

Percy spoke first, saving her the trouble of making up an excuse. "Annabeth here thought it would be funny to ask me where I stole my milk from. You better watch your girlfriend Castellan - a mouth like hers could get her into all sorts of trouble," he lied fluently, and Annabeth had to force herself not to gape at him.

Luke looked down at her with a smirk. "Is that right babe?" he asked and she dumbly shook her head, unable to talk.

With a smug expression, he looked at Percy again and snarled. "I hope you weren't threatening her Jackson, or I might have to rearrange your face," he spat out.

Annabeth dearly hoped that this wouldn't come to blows, and that Percy would refrain from making a snarky comment. Unfortunately, Percy being Percy, he couldn't resist jabbing at him at the expense of his safety.

"Threaten her? Little old me? Why, I wouldn't hurt a fly!" Percy said with mock indignation, and Luke caught onto his tone.

He leaned over the table and grabbed Percy by the collar of his tee shirt and yanked him upwards. "Are you mocking me Jackson?" he growled, and Percy smirked at him, his eyes turning frosty.

"Oh most definitely," he whispered back and Luke snapped.

His fist collided with Percy's jaw, shooting spikes of pain through his face. Annabeth stood up and tried to snap Luke out of it, but he repeatedly punched Percy in the stomach causing the pale boy to cough and sputter.

"Luke! Please stop!" Annabeth cried, and he released Percy who slumped against the lunch table, his chest heaving.

Luke sneered down at Percy's limp body and said, "You better remind yourself of what you are Jackson: a loser. You're nothing, and it's about time you learned some manners."

Percy pushed himself up off the table weakly with one hand and wiped away a smear of blood coating his mouth, a smile tugging on his lips. "Where do you think you're going, Castellan? We aren't done here," he wheezed, coughing specks of blood onto the lunch table.

The other boy shook his head in disbelief and looked down at Annabeth expectantly. "Come on, let's ditch Nothing and go back to our table," he said, and Annabeth stared back at him.

For a second, her eyes turned towards the beaten boy beside her and she looked at him with a torn expression, but he only regarded her impassively. She turned back to Luke and plastered a smile onto her face.

"Sure! We can go, but I need to run to the bathroom quickly, so you go on ahead," she said, a little too cheerily.

Luckily, Luke didn't catch on and shrugged instead. He bent down and kissed her roughly on the lips before smirking at her flabbergasted expression and sauntering back to his table. When a bewildered Annabeth looked around, the rest of the lunch room stopped staring and resumed eating their food. Annabeth helped Percy up and slung one of his arms over her shoulder for support.

"Let's get you to the nurse's office," she said quietly, but Percy didn't respond.

His dark hair hooded his face giving him a brooding expression, and Annabeth didn't attempt to provoke a response for fear of his anger. Slowly, she dragged him discretely out of the lunch room and towards the nurse's office.

Ten minutes later, Percy was lying on his back as the nurse fussed over him. Annabeth stood a little distance away, watching with a gaunt expression as the nurse removed Percy's shirt and tended to his numerous scars. His forearms were still wrapped in bandages so his cuts were hidden, but the rest of his pale, emaciated body looked trashed.

There were gashes and scars haphazardly scattered about his body, but he never moved when the nurse prodded each of them and applied bandages and ointments. In fact, through the whole affair, Percy remained completely silent and stared resolutely up at the ceiling with a vacant expression on his face.

The nurse finally left a short while later and Annabeth hesitantly shuffled forward, standing silent vigil over Percy's bedside. He was breathing heavily and his eyes were firmly shut, so Annabeth didn't feel guilty when her gaze traveled over his body. She was terrified to see small circular white scars that stood out even against the pallor of his skin. They were peppered intermittently over his torso, primarily focused on his chest.

With trembling hands, Annabeth's fingers lightly ghosted over the white scars, tracing small circles. She nearly jumped out of her skin when Percy's hand suddenly stopped her and his sea green eyes were wide open and staring at her in pain.

"Don't," he whispered and Annabeth nodded, raising her hand away. Once again, Percy tightly shut his eyes and began to breathe heavily.

"I'm sorry," Annabeth said softly, not only referring to the touching, but the whole Luke incident.

In response, Percy looked up at her and grinned brightly before sputtering out some more blood. He wheezed into the crook of his elbow, and Annabeth wondered if she should call the nurse through her horror.

Percy waved his hand irately. "I'm fine, I'm fine, don't call the nurse."

"Okay," Annabeth murmured and he settled down again a short while later.

After a few more seconds, Annabeth said quietly, "Thank you."

"For what?" Percy asked, his eyes still closed.

"For lying, for giving me advice, for enduring that - for everything really," she confessed and Percy attempted a smile again, but smaller now for his sake.

"Why I came here, I know not; where I shall go it is useless to inquire - in the midst of myriads of the living and the dead worlds, stars, systems, infinity, why should I be anxious about an atom?" Percy wheezed, his smile still stubbornly lingering on his lips.

Annabeth frowned at him. "That's a really unusual yet beautiful way to say thank you or no big deal."

Percy chuckled merrily and said, "I couldn't resist quoting Byron, even if it doesn't make sense. I guess, I don't deserve the thanks because it's ultimately rather meaningless."

"Nihilist even on your death bed, huh?" Annabeth joked, causing his grin to widen.

"May Hades take mercy on my damned soul and take me now!" Percy cried out, looking up at the ceiling again, and suddenly Annabeth didn't know if he was joking or not.

Then Percy turned to her with a wry smile. "Didn't work," he said matter-of-factly, and Annabeth plastered a smile on her face, unsure of how to respond.

"Don't mind me - I just tend to babble," he said good naturedly, his smile obviously fake judging by the anguished expression in his eyes.

Annabeth stood up and looked at him one last time. "Well, once again, thank you and I'll let you rest. I'll be back at the end of the day and we'll hang out or something if you're feeling up to it."

Percy smiled sleepily at her. "I'll be counting the seconds," he said drowsily.

With one final look, Annabeth turned to leave, but before she made it out of the room she snatched Percy's Byron book off a seat. She would return it to him later, but she was curious to read more of his work based on Percy's interest. She found one particular page dog-eared and a quote was underlined in pencil.

_Sorrow is knowledge, those that know the most must mourn the deepest, the tree of knowledge is not the tree of life._

Annabeth pondered the words and wondered why that particular line was underlined. Then she realized that it was a reference to knowing and seeing what Percy had seen and that knowledge was sorrow which must mean that he mourned the deepest. He had knowledge about tragedies that Annabeth couldn't even begin to guess at, and that knowledge was sorrow to him. It was then a gripping realization seized her and her suspicions felt confirmed.

The white scars on Percy's chest had to have been made by a cigarette. Someone had put out cigarettes on Percy's body.

* * *

**A/N: Hello everyone! That was a grim note to end on, but now you know a little bit more of the puzzle that is Percy. I couldn't resist adding Byron into the chapter. He's one of my most favorite poets and an absolute genius. British poets are the greatest. I really loved the second quote even though it didn't really relate to the chapter. Anyhow, I hope you enjoyed the chapter and as always: Follow, Favorite, and/or Review!**


	15. Void

**Void**

"And we have to be sure to visit the Old North Church! It's where Paul Revere did the whole 'one lantern, two lantern' thing," Annabeth said animatedly, her eyes flickering off the road to look at Percy more than was safe.

"Uh huh, sure. Why don't you just keep your eyes on the road, Wise Girl," Percy suggested, his fingers turning white from gripping his seat forcefully.

Annabeth faced forward, and said, "Oh, right. My bad."

Percy just laughed and cranked up the radio as they drove. Since the school had given them a few days off for the end of the quarter, they had decided to go on their Boston trip. Annabeth was driving, poorly might Percy add, and he was navigator, DJ, and victim of Annabeth's history/architecture rants.

If Percy was being perfectly honest, he kind of liked that Annabeth felt so passionately about architecture and he didn't mind listening because she got this twinkle in her eyes and would talk really quickly and animatedly - he just wished for a minute of silence to calm his growing headache that he attributed to her monologue. He didn't bring that up though since he didn't want to rain on her parade.

A thought occurred to him, so he leaned over to Annabeth and said, "Hey, how far are we through the list?" he asked.

Annabeth flashed him a bright grin. "I have no idea what list you're talking about. However, if you are referring to the "List of Awesomeness", I have all the items on my phone," she said, gesturing to the cup holder where her phone was resting.

Percy rolled his eyes and retrieved the phone, flicking through it.

_Annabeth and Percy's List of Awesomeness:_

_1. Skip school and play hookey_ _(X)_

_2. Go on a trip to Boston _

_3. Camp up in the Catskill Mountains for a few days _

_4. Go skiing in Vermont during the Winter _

_5. Get drunk at a night club and stay up all night (X)_

_6. Go stargazing _

_7. Go on a binge eating spree, without worrying about my weight _

_8. Find out what I did to make Percy hate me._

_9. Start being myself at school, and remove the mask I wear (1/2)_

_10. Spend more time with my closest friends and my family _

_11. Confront my mother about her relationship with me_

_12. Write letters to everyone of my closest friends and family_

Annabeth noticed that he furrowed his brow as he read his way down the list, and suddenly he looked up at her, his lips quirking upwards in a smile.

"Hmm, I was reading through the list-" he began, but Annabeth interrupted.

"List of Awesomeness," she corrected, and Percy sighed.

"Fine, _List of Awesomeness_, and I found some interesting items that weren't there before," he said teasingly, and Annabeth shot him a confused glance.

Percy cleared his throat dramatically. "Allow me to refresh your memory. Subpoint 8, find out what I did to make Percy hate me. Subpoint 9, start being myself at school, and remove the mask I wear," he read, and Annabeth swallowed.

In a second filled with pure, unadulterated panic, Annabeth wondered if she had included the last point about falling in love with Percy, but then she remembered that she hadn't included it because she didn't want to, in case her parents did a search or something.

He turned to her with a wolfish grin, and said, "Care to elaborate?"

Annabeth audibly gulped before scanning her brain for a response, and she was about to reply, when Percy interjected. "Ah, it's alright, I'm just teasing. Besides, if you really want to know for number 8, I'll tell you," he said calmly, and Annabeth felt her heart race hopefully.

"Really?" Annabeth asked.

"Sure! Just not today," he said, and she groaned.

Percy raised his hands in surrender, and smiled at her. "Trust me, I don't want to spoil the day. It'll really put a damper on the trip, and I don't want to ruin it. I promise that I'll tell you when the time is right. Besides, I've forgiven you so it's no big deal anymore," he explained, and a grin slid across her face.

They arrived at Boston at around twelve, so they went to grab some lunch before heading to their hotel. After they finished eating, they deposited their luggage, Annabeth with three bags packed to the brim, and Percy with a plastic Walmart bag that held some clothes and his tooth paste and brush. Due to a lack of rooms, they were forced to stay in the same room as each other, but they both trusted each other implicitly at this point.

And so they began a fun filled day of Annabeth dragging Percy to see old historical monuments, and explaining at detailed length the significance of each architectural landmark. Percy played the part of the good friend and attempted to stay interested, but Annabeth could see how difficult things were for him, so she stopped him at the Bunker Hill Monument.

"Why don't we go somewhere that you want to go?" Annabeth suggested, but Percy just shrugged sheepishly.

"To be honest, I don't really have any place in mind. I just enjoy seeing you so happy," he confessed, blush coloring his pale cheeks.

Annabeth tried her best to look stern, but she felt fireworks going off inside her stomach. "Percy, friendship isn't a one way street - you deserve to be happy just as much as I do," she said, but he merely shook his head.

When Annabeth shot him an exasperated look, he held his hands up in surrender, "I am having fun, honest," he explained, but Annabeth didn't look convinced. She didn't press him further because she didn't want to ruin the mood.

With some degree of reluctance, Annabeth continued her architecture rant, and Percy listened politely, the smallest of smiles gracing his lips.

During dinner, Percy forced Annabeth to let him pay, and after a lengthy discussion, she finally relented.

"It's just that- I don't want you to feel like I'm using you. This isn't a patron-client relationship; this is a friendship and I want to chip in equally when I can," Percy explained on their walk back to the hotel.

"Hypocrite! If this was a friendship, then you wouldn't feel the need to pay me back," Annabeth said, and Percy shook his head resolutely.

He stuffed his hands in his pockets, and said, "Just drop it. What's done is done, and you shouldn't feel guilty at all. I paid because I wanted to treat my best friend to a nice meal. Is that too much to ask?" he questioned, and Annabeth paused.

"Wait. I'm your best friend now?" she asked hopefully, and Percy snorted.

"Wise girl, you're my only friend."

Annabeth smiled sheepishly, and said, "And you're my only Seaweed Brain."

Percy grinned at her in response. "I still don't understand why my nickname for you is a compliment, whereas mine is an insult," he pointed out, and Annabeth playfully shoved him.

"Think of it as a term of endearment rather than an insult," she suggested, and he shrugged.

* * *

Later that night, Annabeth tried to fall asleep, but no matter what she did, she couldn't. For a while now, Annabeth had been suffering from panic attacks, sudden floods of depression that took over her psyche that told her that she was nothing and that if she died, it wouldn't really matter. And when she closed her eyes, all she saw was the void staring back at her, indifferent and cold to her imminent demise. She could be erased; erased from memory, from thought, from existence, and no one would be any wiser.

So she tossed and turned in her bed, unable to let sleep claim her because in the back of the mind, her fear of the void grew stronger, exerting a pull on her infinitely more sinister than gravity. The thought of nothingness after her death terrified her because it was something that she couldn't fathom. The cessation of all thoughts, all feelings, all consciousness terrified her because it was incomprehensible to her.

Suddenly, she sat upright and stared out the window, looking at the night lit sky and the dark street in front of their hotel room. Her clammy hands grasped at the fabric of her comforter and pulled it up and around her body. She was breaking out into a cold sweat, and her body began to shake reflexively.

Annabeth nearly jumped out of her skin when she was wrapped into a warm hug. She buried herself deeper into Percy's body, trying to escape the void. In his arms, she felt safe, like nothing could get her. Maybe that was a fantasy, but it was one that she desperately needed and believed in. Annabeth rested her head against his chest and felt herself calming down as she listened to the steady, relaxing beat of his heart.

Percy began to rub her back in a comforting manner, and just stayed silent, protecting her like the selfless guardian that he was. Annabeth thanked the stars for having sent an angel like Percy to come help her in her time of need because she couldn't fathom going through all of this alone.

"What do you think happens when we die?" Annabeth asked, surprised by how timid her voice sounded.

She felt Percy shift against her, and he sighed, causing his chest to heave.

"Do you want me to tell you what I think or what I believe?" Percy asked quietly, and Annabeth pondered for a second.

"Both, I guess."

"Well, I believe that there is something on the other end. Who knows what it is, but I believe that there has to be something there because there just can't be nothing, you know? Even if death is one giant prank and we actually just end back here again, or on a parallel universe like it, at least there's something," he explained and Annabeth nodded slightly against his frame.

"But what I think is that there really is nothing waiting for us, and that's the hell of it. We just can't know for sure, can we? Maybe there actually is something on the other end, but more likely than not, there's just nothing. We just invent all these lies and fantasies like Heaven or Hell to help ourselves cope because we don't understand the concept of nothing. It just fundamentally does not compute," he continued, and Annabeth found herself enraptured. He had clearly given this a lot of thought.

"What does nothing even mean? The instant you define it, it no longer exists. Like if you think nothing is just black, empty space, then it's no longer nothing, it's a black, empty space. That's the terrifying bit, nothing _can't_ exist, but that's what's waiting for us - that's the void." Percy finished, his voice slightly wistful.

Annabeth thought for a while and raised another question. "Then what's the point to all of this? Why does anything we do mean a goddamn thing if we're just going to vanish into nothingness?"

Percy bit his lip and looked down at her. "You know, I have asked myself that question since I was seven years old and for the longest time, I thought I had an answer. I thought we were just here to suffer; to wallow around like pigs, trying to create order out of an undying chaos, but it was all just a sham. Humans think that they're so great because we have economies and political systems and doctrines, but it's all just a guise to hide how utterly lost we are in the first place."

He continued, saying, "You think the economy or politics matters? We just create these institutions to have some semblance of order - that's what humans are really after. If it rains, we build a shelter. If we're hungry, we invented irrigation systems and farms. You see, human beings don't deal well with chaos, but we fail to understand that entropy is the natural state of the universe - everything degrades. You leave a building alone, and what happens? It fucking decays and collapses. Hell, science has proven it, but we can't seem to drill that into our brains."

"I guess what I am trying to say is that, I was only half right. Chaos isn't suffering; chaos is neutrality. It doesn't discriminate and it doesn't have a point. So why try you ask? Well because we want there to be a point. There just _has_ to be a purpose for our minds to function. We don't deal well with the notion that nothing we do matters," he elaborated, starting to gain momentum.

"If you strip it down to the bare essentials, what do humans want? We want only one thing: happiness. Every single event in history, every single action that you have done is for the promotion of your happiness. Eating a sandwich? Keeps you full, keeps you happy. Study for a test? Get a good score, maybe a nice job, keeps you happy. Want more gold? Kill off an African Village, drill a couple holes, makes you happy. That's it. That's all there is to it." Percy rambled, getting increasingly more passionate.

Then he stopped his long winded rant, taking a deep breath. "But then I met you and I've really thought about things, and I realize that I was wrong about one big thing. No matter how meaningless and pathetic our existence really is, that doesn't mean that we shouldn't try. If the end goal is happiness, why wouldn't you strive for it, regardless of pointless your actions are? That's your why, Annabeth. You need to try because you want to be happy, and if it makes you happy, then nothing else matters."

Annabeth peered up at him, her eyes glistening in the dark, and Percy suddenly became self conscious and shy when he looked down at her. He froze and Annabeth's hand slowly ascended to brush his hair out of his eyes so that they could see the color of each other's eyes without restriction.

"I am so glad that you're here with me - here at the end of all things, Percy Jackson," Annabeth whispered, and Percy gave her a heart meltingly shy smile.

"I wouldn't want to be anywhere else in the world, Annabanana."

* * *

**A/N: Hello everyone! How about that abrupt transition, huh? One second, everything was all light and happy, and the next second it was all dark and philosophical. Well the second half of this chapter is basically all me - every philosophy that I have about life is right there on paper. **

**For those of you that read my profile, you probably saw that I too fear the void, and this is why. It is also why I have a deep seated fear of anesthesia because that's also voidish in nature. Anyhow, that's my deepest fear in real life: being under anesthesia because I am afraid that I'll never wake up. It sounds stupid, but the concept of eternal nothingness scare the socks off of me. I also personally suffer from panic attacks that are existential in nature which sounds really melodramatic and pretentious, but they are real and they are debilitating. **

**On sheer content alone, this is my most favorite thing that I have ever written. It's really kind of dense and tactless because it's really just a rant that isn't artfully intertwined with the story, but I honestly don't care. I am super proud of it, and I hope you find my views interesting and I hope that I didn't offend anyone about the whole "Heaven and Hell" thing. Feel free to believe what you want to believe. If you enjoyed the chapter, please: Follow, Favorite, and Review.**

**PS: Totally stole the last bit from Lord of the Rings. **


	16. Antigone

**Warning: This is without a doubt the saddest, most disturbing thing that I have ever written. Don't read if you aren't old enough, I beg of you. **

**Antigone**

The sound of dripping water drowned out the traffic and commotion outside, a single flat note repeating endlessly. Manic sea green eyes found themselves staring into the reflection of a horribly gaunt, anemic boy staring back with equal intensity. Percy's hair lay matted against his head, the ebony strands wet with the polluted water dripping from the faucet.

Using his hands, Percy held himself on the sink to keep from falling down. Judging by the way that his legs were bowed, he had lost the ability to walk, but for some reason, he was hell bent on looking at himself. He didn't like what he saw, but then again he never had. Honestly, he could have cared less about his appearance, but he would have done anything, _anything_, to have gotten rid of that look in his eyes; that haunted, burning quality to them that froze and incinerated all in its path from the sheer intensity of its gaze.

Footsteps.

The scene blurs and changes.

_"Percy! You must promise me that you'll never to leave your room. Understood?" the Woman whispers, her voice taut with fear. _

_The Little Boy with wide sea green eyes and dirty raven hair wants to nod, but fear has rendered him immobile. He can't move. He can't speak. He can't breathe. _

_"Am I understood?!" _

_A curt nod. _

_"Good. Off you go, and don't come out until I come get you. Now, go and hide! Quick!" _

_The Little Boy scampers off as quick as his short, stubby feet can carry him. His heart pounds so hard and so fast and so loud, he's sure that it will burst right out of his chest. _

_Right after he makes it into his tiny room, which is more of a closet than a room, the front door bursts open loudly. The Little Boy cowers under the bed, and whimpers quietly, absolute, unadulterated fear taking control of his entire body. He is beyond thoughts. He is one giant ball of emotion. _

_He begins the poem as soon as the man starts shouting at the Woman. _

_"What the fuck have you been up to, bitch?" _

Yesterday, upon the stair,  
I met a man who wasn't there

_The Little Boy starts quietly, feverishly monotone, but he can still hear the noises outside, each sound a scar. _

_"Answer me when I am talking to you, you fucking whore!" _

_The whistle of a belt. The shriek of the Woman. His sadistic laughter. _

_Hands find The Little Boy's ears, but they do not help, because it is not his ears that hear those sounds. It is his soul. _

He wasn't there again today  
I wish, I wish he'd go away...

_"You like that, you greedy little whore? Do you like that?" _

_Crack goes the belt. A sob. _

_"Please..."_

_Sadistic laughter._

When I came home last night at three  
The man was waiting there for me

_"I think my little whore is ready for me. Are you my little whore, Sally? Are you?" _

_"Please, no." _

_"Take off your clothes."_

But when I looked around the hall  
I couldn't see him there at all!

_"Don't." _

_"Take off your fucking clothes, you bitch." _

_"Don't! Please!" _

_Sadistic laughter. The tearing of a dress. The helpless scream of a woman._

Go away, go away, don't you come back any more!  
Go away, go away, and please don't slam the door

_Grunting. Screaming. Crying. Moaning. Gasping. Shrieking. Creaking. Slamming. _

Last night I saw upon the stair  
A little man who wasn't there

_Tears flow without beginning or end down The Little Boy's face, each an endless river, stretching across infinity. All the strings inside him have snapped simultaneously. _

_He's too young. _

_He's too young for these kind of things. He should be playing with his toys, not cowering underneath his bed in fear. He shouldn't have to hear the sounds of his mother being raped. _

_He's too young. _

_And then, it stops. _

_Sobbing. Footsteps. Coming closer. _

He wasn't there again today  
Oh, how I wish he'd go away

_His heart is racing. It's beating so fast, but he needs to be quiet. Otherwise He will hear. He will find him. No matter where he hides, no matter how far runs, no matter how much he tries, He will find him. And He will hurt him. _

_The Little Boy can see His feet from under the bed. The Little Boy stops breathing, but his heart pounds, disobeying his will. _

_The Little Boy whispers the final stanza one more time, "Oh, how I wish he'd go away." _

_Something has got his foot. He's been dragged out from under the bed, and it's Him. He's looking at him in absolute and utter disgust, but the sadistic grin on his face grows wider. Smoke from the cigarette coils up in the air like a snake. _

_The Little Boy doesn't breathe. Through the still of the silence he can still hear the Woman sob to herself, and then He speaks. _

_"There you are, you little fucker. Time to play." _

_The cigarette stub descends, and The Little Boy screams. _

The reflection's skin grows suddenly paler, almost transparent and it leers at Percy. Sea green gives way to crimson, and the ebony hair bleaches until it turns bone white. When it smiles, Percy can see its black pointed teeth, and a forked tongue licks them clean.

Without warning, the reflection lunges outward and comes out of the mirror, one clawed hand grasping, reaching, clutching.

Percy can't step back before it tightens around his throat and the reflection hisses in approval. No matter what he does, Percy can't pry off the reflection's fingers, and then its face finally emerges from the mirror, leering intensely at him.

It opens its mouth, drawing ever closer, the forked tongue flicking about. Percy watches in horror as the satanic reflection kisses him and quickly withdraws, a phantom like apparition being pulled from his own mouth. The reflection is pulling a pale violet apparition by its teeth, and Percy wants to scream but he can't, his mouth is filled with this strange ghostly figure.

He finally does scream when he realizes that it's his soul. The reflection is sucking his soul out of his body.

"Percy!"

"Huh?" he asks, rubbing his eyes groggily.

His vision swims and Annabeth appears before him, gazing down at him in concern. The cafeteria melts into the picture, creating an obnoxious background, and he wants to go back to sleep.

"Are you alright, Seaweed Brain?" Annabeth asks, her voice laced with concern.

Percy manages a half-smile, but Annabeth can tell that it is blatantly fake. He runs his hand through his hair, trying to appear casual, but Annabeth knows by now that that is his tell for when he is unsettled.

Annabeth almost misses it, but his left hand discretely scrunches up his shirt, right where the cigarette burns are. She remembers that from the time in the nurses office, and she realizes what he has been dreaming about.

He finally finds his voice, and says, "Never better, Wise Girl." He doesn't have the gall to ask her why she asked.

She wants to press him, to force him to confess so that she can help, but she doesn't. Instead, she says, "You know that you can tell me anything, right?"

Percy gives her a suspicious glance and purses his lips. Annabeth can't understand what's going through his head, but she wishes she could at that moment.

Instead of brushing it off, he says, "There are some things you are better off not knowing."

Annabeth doesn't understand that. She can't comprehend what could be so unnerving that it's better not knowing about. She hates not knowing. But she knows better than to press him.

Instead of pressing, she says, "There are some things you are better off sharing, not hiding."

Percy can't find a response to that, and so he stays silent.

* * *

The autumn air was frosty as Annabeth walked out of the movie theater, burying her hands in her sweatshirt pocket. With a sigh, she readjusted her glasses on the crook of her nose to keep them from falling down.

Luke, Ethan, and Matt's guffaws ruptured the still of the night air, something that she had grown to enjoy. She huffed in annoyance at the uncalled for disruption of the tranquility of the surroundings. After spending time with Percy, she had grown sensitive enough to detect that particular stillness that always came with the night air. It was something that she had come to relish since it helped her relax, and her mind felt liberated.

Ethan's girlfriend, Tammi, and Matt's girlfriend, Nikki, both twins, howled with laughter as well; their shrill voices made Annabeth cringe. Their unwelcome presence lingered perpetually behind her, and she rolled her eyes even though they couldn't see her. If she was being perfectly honest, she didn't know why she was on a date with Luke and his stupid friends that day.

Oh, that's right. Luke forced her into coming. She had disagreed at first, but Luke coaxed her, and when that failed, shouted at her for not spending enough time with him. Oddly enough, she wanted to be spending time with Percy every second that she was on the date.

Now more than ever, she realized how much Percy and her friendship with him meant to her. Whenever she was away from him, she felt like half of her was missing too. She wondered if he ever felt the same way about her.

That was the hell of it - she didn't know how Percy felt about her. For all she knew, he probably considered her as just another friend, but she wanted them to be so much more than that. Sure there was the whole Luke thing to consider, but she would have dumped him in a heartbeat if it meant being with Percy. She just didn't know if he felt the same way about her - all she could do was hope that he did, or that at the very least, that he would get there someday.

She desperately wished that his aromantic asexuality was just a phase or something, not his permanent sexual orientation. Being friends and everything was great, and since they shared more intimate moments with each other than many other friends did, Annabeth wasn't unhappy with their friendship. However, she longed to be closer to him, she longed to be cared for by him, just like she cared for him, in a way that traversed the realm of friendship. Instead, she was pretty sure that she was stuck, permanently friendzoned.

Life sucked.

Cancer, friendzoned, crazy boyfriend, even crazier crush. Yup, Life seemed to enjoy toying with Annabeth to no end.

"Hey babe," Luke murmured into her ear, his arm draped across her shoulder. Annabeth shivered slightly, but it went unnoticed, and instead Luke hung even more tightly onto her.

A quick glance around told Annabeth that Ethan and Matt were already in their cars with their girlfriends doing god knows what.

"You wanna beer?" Luke asked, and Annabeth politely refused, causing him to pout.

"Come on, don't be like that. Loosen up a little," he said, and Annabeth gave him a small smile and refused once again.

She knew what he was trying to do, and she would have done it before, but now that she had changed, the idea of being with him sexually disturbed her. "Loosen up a little" was the line he used to get her to finally be intimate with him, and he was trying it again.

"I'm fine, thanks though," Annabeth said politely.

Luke shook his head in disbelief and shrugged. "Whatever. Do you want to go inside the car?" he asked, and again, Annabeth refused.

"My dad said that I had to be home at 11:00," she lied, and Luke looked at her suspiciously.

"You still have twenty minutes, and I swear I won't take more than five," he argued, but again Annabeth refused.

"I have to be going now. Bye," she said, and turned to leave, until Luke caught her and turned her around.

"Fine, be that way, prude. Let's at least drive around until you have to leave." Luke said angrily, and Annabeth hesitated before nodding.

Soon Ethan, Matt, and Luke were driving and heading down town, all of them probably too drunk to drive. Annabeth sat by quietly, watching the scenery flash by and remembering her bus rides to visit Percy.

They all parked somewhere in an abandoned parking garage, and walked around outside, joking to themselves. As they walked, Annabeth felt more and more estranged from the group, and she longed to slip away to visit Percy even though the hour was late.

Somehow, they wound up in front of Hestia's orphanage, and Luke noticed the sign.

"Hey, guys, look at this. A homeless shelter," he grinned devilishly.

Ethan looked up at it, and said, "I can't believe our parents have to pay tax dollars for lowlifes like them."

Annabeth shook with rage, and said, "Don't say that - some people are just unlucky."

Tammi looked at her in shock. "Yeah, well, some people are just stupid and ungrateful leeches that like to prey on the wealthy," she sniffed, and Nikki snickered in agreement.

"I don't think that's fair to say at all," Annabeth whispered quietly.

"No, what's not fair is _their_ laziness sucking us dry of _our_ money," Matt grunted.

Then out of the blue, Luke said, "Let's trash it."

Annabeth recoiled and looked at him in shock. "What the hell is wrong with you?! You can't do that!" She fumed, but Luke turned and looked at her like she was the crazy one.

"Why not? It's not like they deserve to live there. They belong on the streets," Nikki retorted.

"There are women and children there!" Annabeth said, clearly appalled.

"So?" All of them asked, and Annabeth shook her head incredulously.

"I can't believe we're having this conversation. You're all drunk, and you need to go home," Annabeth said.

They all looked at her strangely. "Annabeth, what's gotten into you? A few months ago, you would have been the one convincing us to do this," Tammi said, and the others nodded in agreement.

"Well, I'm not the same person I was a few months ago," Annabeth said, and Nikki scoffed.

"Well, obviously; you dress like someone who's fashion retarded," she exclaimed, and Annabeth seethed with rage.

"Yeah, well, at least I don't have to dress like some blonde bimbo like you!"

"Oh my god! That is _so_ not okay," Tammi squealed.

"Whatever, I am sick of your crap. You all need to grow up, and stop being self-centered assholes. There are people in there with lives to lead, and you can't trash their home," Annabeth argued.

Luke sneered at her, "Who would have thought: Annabeth Chase, defender of the poor? Weren't you always the one whining about how homeless people were like the worst thing to happen on Earth because they lived off your parent's money?"

Annabeth glared at him, and said, "I told you before, I am not the same person I used to be."

"Well then you better get the fuck out," Ethan growled, but she stood her ground.

"Not until you back away from this shelter."

Without warning, Luke walked up to her and grabbed her roughly by the wrists, throwing her against his car, before leering down at her. Annabeth watched in shock as he leaned in close to whisper into her ears.

"First, you don't blow me, and now you're defying me in front of my friends? You're going to turn the fuck around, or I will break every single bone in your body. You got that?" Luke demanded, and Annabeth meekly shook her head, terrified.

He shoved her violently, and Annabeth tumbled onto the street before running away to find a bus back home. Once she got on the bus, she nearly collapsed in exhaustion, and buried her face in her hands. She assumed that Luke was just joking, because he had made statements like that before, and had been saying it just for the hell of it. And so, she let the bus drive her home before slipping into her bed and drifting into a dreamless sleep.

The next day, she went to school early like she always did, but when she stepped through the doors, she could tell something was amiss. For one thing, Percy was on the ground, curled up into a little ball. His knees were tucked into his chest, and his dark hair shrouded his head.

"Percy, are you okay?" Annabeth asked curiously, and Percy's head lifted up.

Annabeth was shocked to see tears streaming down his face with a feather attached to a string of beads in his hands, and then it sank in. Annabeth knew what he was going to say before he said it.

"Annabeth, the shelter burned down. Piper, -she died."

* * *

**A/N: Okay, that was gruesome on just about every account, but I warned you. The first part is like a blurring of dreams, each layered on top of each other. The reflection and the italics are both dreams, but the stuff with the reflection represents how nightmares and reality blur for Percy. I hope that helped you understand Percy a little bit better. If you didn't catch on "The Little Boy" was Percy, "The Woman" was his mother, and "He/Him" is still a mystery. It's not Gabe - I can say that much. Percy's going to be pissed when he finds out about the truth. Follow, Favorite, and Review. **


	17. Vengeance

**A/N: I'm actually making this story into a self-published novel, so I have two quick questions. 1. If I did, would you be interested in buying it? AND 2. Which title sounds the best: "Wolff's Law", "Remembering Cloud Edison", or "A Boy Named Cloud"? **

**FYI: Cloud Edison is the name of Percy in the self-published novel. Please drop a review with your thoughts! Thank you!**

**Vengeance**

"Annabeth, the shelter burned down. Piper, s-she died."

The entire world seemed to stop revolving about its axis for Annabeth after Percy spoke those words. It felt like the hands of time had shattered into a million irretrievable pieces, and a painful constriction took hold of Annabeth's heart. She found it hard to breathe, almost like she was suffocating and was being forced to breathe through a tube.

_Luke couldn't have acted on his words - he would joke about those kind of things, but he was never serious. He just can't have done that. _

Annabeth tried to deny what she knew was true, and every second that went by only made her sink further and further. The immediate dilemma became whether or not she should tell Percy. Then it occurred to her that she too was at fault because she didn't stop them when she got a chance. She knew that there would be no way that Percy would ever have forgiven her if she confessed. It was one thing to screw with him, but it was another thing entirely to screw with Hestia's shelter.

Annabeth knew how special the shelter was to Percy. If he knew that it wasn't an accident, he would go absolutely mad with grief and vengeance. However, Annabeth also knew that by keeping the truth from him, she would only dig herself into an even deeper hole. It was better to tell the truth and pay the consequences than deliberately lie to him despite the nobility of her intentions. Again, Annabeth found herself betwixt a moral dilemma that tore at her very essence.

In the end, she decided on the bolder of the two options. She confessed.

"Percy, it wasn't an accident. It was arson, and I know who did it," she said calmly, and Percy's gaze sharpened, giving him an almost feral expression.

"Who?" Percy demanded, his tone deliberately measured.

"Luke, and his friends-" Annabeth began, before Percy stood so quickly she jumped back in fright.

Percy's expression was perfectly neutral, but his skin was several shades paler than it already was. "Ok. Thanks for telling me, Wise Girl," he said, and then he made to leave, his body language screaming murder.

Annabeth stopped him and said, "Percy, wait. I'm not done yet - there's more."

When Percy looked at her sharply, she took a deep breath, and said, "Percy, don't get mad, but I was there."

"You were what?" Percy asked, his tone betraying nothing.

Annabeth winced, and tried again. "I was there last night when he burned the place down. He joked and said that he would because homeless people didn't deserve to live off of the rich, and that it would be better to torch the place down. I tried to stop him, and I told him that they had every right to be there. He hit me and told me to leave, otherwise he would break every bone in my body, so I left. But I swear, I never would have left if I knew that he was being serious. Trust me, Luke always says those kinds of things, but he never acts on them, so I thought he was just trying to look cool for his friends."

Percy stood silently, his head turned away from Annabeth so that she couldn't see what he was thinking. "But you were there right?"

"Yes," she breathed.

"And you could have stopped them, right?"

Annabeth frowned. "Well, no. I tried to, but Luke threatened me."

"But you could have stayed, right?"

"Umm, well, I could have."

Pause.

"Then _why_ didn't you?"

"Because he threatened me."

Pause.

"Oh, I see, because if anyone threatens little miss Perfect's well being, all other concerns go out the window. Forgive me for my insolence, I should have known! It's gospel, how could I have not known that?" Percy said, his voice bitter and sardonic.

Annabeth ignored the burning behind her eyes. "That's what you got from that? That I was too self-centered to care?"

Percy shrugged nonchalantly. "Pretty much."

Annabeth pursed her lips angrily. "Oh, I see. Well then you obviously don't know me we-" she began when Percy whirled around to face her, his eyes burning with hellfire.

"Shut up! I know you, Annabeth Chase. I know what a self-centered, manipulative little bitch you are. I've seen your fucking soul, and I know that no matter what mask you wear, you will always be that shallow egomaniac that doesn't give a damn about anyone, but herself!" Percy screamed, his voice reverberating across the empty hallway.

Tears began to well up in Annabeth's eye sockets, but she willed them not to fall. "I see," she said, barely choking even that out, "Maybe I should just do the world a favor and die, huh? I mean, I'm obviously a very detrimental addition to the human race, so I don't deserve to be here."

Percy's eyes softened marginally, and Annabeth could see a change in them, but she was too far gone to care. "Thanks for everything, Percy. You taught me a lot about myself, but it seems like I'm beyond help. I really do appreciate what you've done so far, though, really."

With that, Annabeth shouldered her bag and stalked away in the opposite direction, wiping her tears away as she walked.

"Annabeth, wait!" Percy called, but Annabeth only sped up her walk.

She eventually hid herself in some dark corner of the school so that Percy couldn't find her. She didn't cry; she felt like she was beyond that. She didn't have the strength to cry anymore. Percy's hurtful words rebounded endlessly in her mind, and she curled up into a little ball to try to deflect the pain.

All too soon, she heard the roar of the other kids coming into the school, so she braced herself and began to head out with a plastered smile on her face. She joined Silena, Rachel, and the rest and quickly immersed herself in their conversation about a cute sophomore boy named Tommy Jensen. In all honesty, Annabeth could have cared less about Tommy Jensen, but she wanted to distract herself from remembering Percy's words.

They were so hurtful because they were still so true. Despite all the changes that she had underwent, she still hadn't made it far enough. She was stuck in limbo - not independent enough for Percy and not popular enough for everybody else. Annabeth felt like a marionette on a string, dancing to whatever tune she heard around her. She was so fucking tired of pretending. She had to pretend to be the perfect daughter for her mother, the popular girl for the school, the respectful student to her teachers, the independent free thinker for Percy, the fun promiscuous girlfriend for Luke - it was too much. Annabeth just wanted to be Annabeth. Why wasn't that good enough for anyone?

_Who is the real Annabeth? _

Percy's question rang clearly in her mind and she stiffened. It was a question he had asked her a while ago, and she didn't have an answer at the time. Annabeth always said that she just wanted to be herself, but she had no idea what that meant. She now realized that all she was was an overlap of all the masks she wore. These collective personas made up her identity, and she found it impossible to divorce herself from them. The short of it was that there was no real Annabeth, at least, not yet.

Like a bolt of lightening, it struck her: That was Percy's goal the whole time. He wasn't trying to get her to pretend for him. All he wanted was for her to be herself, the real version. When she thought about, Annabeth could catch glimpses of her real Self when she examined the memories she made with Percy. The real Annabeth enjoyed spending an entire day at a homeless shelter with poor people. The real Annabeth wanted to take Piper clothes shopping. The real Annabeth felt at home in the darkness of Percy's dilapidated apartment, peering up at the stars with him beside her, revealing his closest secrets.

The more she thought about it, the more she realized that Percy wasn't just trying to be her friend - he was trying to show her something. He was trying to accomplish something, not for himself, but for her. He was trying to show her that she didn't need to pretend for anyone, and that her real Self deserved a chance to be heard. Even though she might stumble, Annabeth knew that she was slowly shedding her various personas and becoming the person that she always dreamed of being.

Suddenly Tommy Jensen didn't seem nearly as interesting to talk about. She suddenly had the urge to find Percy and fall at his feet to beg for forgiveness, to confess repeatedly that she was a sinner and that she needed him. Oh god, did Annabeth need Percy; he was the only constant, the only lifeline that she had in the whirling shit storm that was her life. Even though his words had been hurtful, Annabeth was willing to look past all of that because it was largely true, and she needed to prove to him that she had changed.

She waited eagerly for lunch, willing time to accelerate so that she could see him again. During her classes, she kept an ear open for any news regarding Percy and Luke, just to make sure that he hadn't done anything overtly rash that would have landed him in major trouble. She was relieved when no horror stories were told, at least, none reached her ears.

Lunch went by, but she didn't catch a sign of Percy. She worried that he might have left the school, or that he had done something rash and had hurt himself. She spent the remainder of the day in an incredibly agitated state, wondering where in the world he had disappeared to. Annabeth even waited after school for him, but she didn't find him anywhere.

Finally, she gave up and went to leave when she heard some commotion in the school parking lot. Curious, she walked in the direction of the jeers and loud noises when she saw a sight that made her blood run cold. Percy was facing off against Luke, Ethan, and Matt, all of whom had about an extra 40 pounds of muscle on him. Despite the uneven odds, Percy looked calm and assured, his eyes still burning with hellfire and the thirst for revenge.

Without warning, Percy lunged at Luke only to be caught by Ethan and Matt, who each took an arm and held it behind Percy's back. Luke stepped forward and punched him roughly in the stomach, causing the pale boy to spit out blood. Percy merely looked up at Luke with a provocative smirk, and said, "You hit like a girl, Castellan. Put your back into it."

With a howl, Luke punched him again and then viciously kicked him in the knees. Percy staggered and coughed again, but continued to smirk at him, taunting the other boy. In a fit of rage, Luke hit Percy over and over again, getting increasingly frustrated when the other boy's malevolent smirk never disappeared. Matt and Ethan released him to join in and relieve Luke for a while, and Percy retreated from their blows. Annabeth was too mortified to move - her brain had completely shut down.

Whenever Percy got knocked down by the three boys, he would simply get back up, wipe the blood off his face, and lunge at them again, only to be beaten back down again. This cycle continued repeatedly, and Percy accumulated more bruises, but he was relentless. It was as though he was possessed.

"_Why_? Why won't you stay down?" Ethan demanded, panting after his latest hit on Percy.

Percy calmly picked himself back up again, and said, "Because I won't take shit from the likes of you, people that prey on innocent women and children, people that cast them out onto the streets to suffer." Then he smiled, and said, "I won't stop getting up until you collapse from exhaustion, unable to punch me again."

Again, he lunged at them only to be beaten back by the three boys, but it was clear that they were tiring. Annabeth stood in silent admiration, unable to understand the strength of his resolve for him to have the ability to get knocked down over and over again, but still have the strength to stand up.

When he fell yet again, Percy met her eyes and Annabeth jolted like she was shot with electricity. Percy's eyes changed and again, Annabeth saw that desire to accomplish something deep within them. It was a resolve so strong and unwavering, Annabeth could never have expected someone of Percy's devil-may-care personality to possess it. Instead of asking for her to help or even acknowledging her, he merely picked himself up again and ran at Luke and his friends.

Annabeth sank to her knees and shut her eyes to prevent the tears from falling out of them, unable to witness Percy's martyrdom for any longer. She knew what he was trying to tell her. He was telling her that some things are worth fighting for, and that come hell or high water, you don't back down because if you do, you stand for nothing. And so, Percy hurled himself at foes that were infinitely stronger than him, and he definitely had some broken bones, but he continued anyways because if you don't fight for what's right, then no one will. The resolve in his eyes was not for revenge, it was to teach Luke and his cronies a lesson.

True to his word, Percy didn't stop until Luke, Ethan, and Matt had fallen in exhaustion, unable to lift their hands again. Percy towered over them, his sea green eyes glinting in the darkness like the light of justice. After limping over to them, Percy proclaimed, "Let me tell you all something, we aren't made to mindlessly hate one another. We are here to help and care for one another, and if you can't see that, you should at least respect it."

He took another step forward, and the three boys quailed under the intensity of his stare, before continuing. "You burned down a homeless shelter that many of the best people that I have ever met lived in. You killed the unluckiest people in the world because you were drunk and didn't have anything better to do."

Pause.

"You killed my best friend, Piper McLean, the only girl that ever cared about me. She had her whole life ahead of her," Percy said and then laughed bitterly before continuing, "You know, she wanted to be an actress. She used to put on these little plays at the shelter, and for an hour or so, everybody there, no matter how bad their lot was in life, could just forget and feel happy about something. You took that away from them. You took everything away from them."

Annabeth held her breath wondering what he was going to do to them, but Percy merely held up Piper's beaded feather which floated eerily in the wind. "Have fun living with yourselves after knowing that you've destroyed lives, you miserable little fuck ups. Know that you will _never_ be forgiven, and I hope that you burn in hell," he said, and staggered away.

Annabeth was shocked to see tears streaming down the other boys' faces. It never occurred to her that Luke, Ethan, and Matt would actually cry about something that Percy said, but he had nearly moved her to tears without speaking at all. She knew that what Percy had just done was infinitely more hurtful than any physical wound. Those boys would have to live with the guilt of their actions for the rest of their lives. The knowledge that they had killed an innocent teenage girl would plague their minds twenty years later, and they would have to live with that fact.

When Percy stumbled, Annabeth raced up to him and helped him up. He was borderline unconscious, but when he saw Annabeth, he smiled genuinely.

"You stupid, Seaweed Brain," Annabeth whispered, tears streaming down her face, and his hand feebly tugged on one of her curls. Annabeth's hand instinctively held onto his hand after it dropped away.

"I'm not worth your tears," he said weakly, his smile persisting.

"Shut up! I'm taking you to the hospital," she said seriously, and he chuckled painfully.

"Can't afford it," he choked out.

Annabeth looked at him incredulously. "You do realize who you're talking to right?"

"Who?" Percy joked.

"Why, egomaniac Chase, of course!" Annabeth teased, and Percy's smile disappeared instantly.

"I'm sorry. I was just so angry and I didn't know what to do-" he began, before Annabeth shushed him.

Twenty minutes later, Annabeth found herself sitting beside him in an ambulance as it drove to the hospital. The paramedic was patching him up as they went there, and Annabeth held onto his free hand loosely. Under the weight of the sedative, Percy had been knocked unconscious.

"You're wrong, you know? Piper's not the only girl that cares about you. Not anymore," Annabeth whispered softly, and when Percy's hand squeezed hers gently, she smiled so wide that it hurt.

* * *

**A/N: Hello minions! Haha, I am just kidding, you're not minions. This chapter was really hard to write, not from an emotional stand point, but trying to figure out just what Percy was going to do about Luke. I am kind of proud of myself for picking the solution that I did, because that just felt so much like him. I hope you all think that it's as epic as I did. It would be even more epic if we could break 500 reviews this chapter. Thanks for reading, and as always: Follow, Favorite, and/or Review!**

**PS: Percy's anger towards Annabeth was my attempt to ease on the gender hate, because I wanted Percy to be in the wrong for once.**

**I'm going to start recommending stories that I find meaningful in the PJO archive. I won't have a recommendation every week, but I'll try my best. These are all stories that have impressed me because they went beyond the shallowness that pervades this site to do something extraordinary. I highly recommend you give them a read. **

**This week's recommendation: "PJO Drabbles and Oneshots" by wood painted flesh. **


	18. Time

**Time**

The sound of the door closing softly behind her alerted Annabeth of Percy's arrival. She heard his footsteps drawing closer, and she craned her head over her shoulder to see him getting closer. Percy sat down on the steps leading up to Hestia's new apartment, and handed the older woman a burgundy scarf.

"Here," he said gently, giving her the scarf.

Hestia scowled at him. "I'm hurt, but I'm not dead, Perce," she said, her voice unable to muster up its typically caustic tone.

Percy grinned at her crookedly. "Good to know that sharp tongue of yours is still in working order," he said cheekily, and Hestia glared at him.

Looking at Annabeth, Hestia jerked her thumb towards Percy and said, "I say we torch him on fire and see how _he_ likes it. You game, Beth?"

Annabeth merely laughed in response, which eventually led to all three of them laughing. A frosty breeze blew past and Hestia hugged her scarf tighter around her while Annabeth shivered slightly. Annabeth started when she felt something drape across her shoulders, but she looked back to see Percy smiling down at her as he gave her his sweatshirt.

"It's not much, but it should help keep you warm," Percy suggested, and Annabeth smiled.

"Thanks," she said in response.

Hestia sighed causing them both to look at her in confusion. She rested her head on her hands, and grinned up at them. "Ah, young love," she said in a sugary, dreamy voice.

Instantly, Annabeth and Percy both turned away from one another, blushing profusely. "We're not in love!" They said together, but Hestia's grin only widened.

"Cute, you're even saying things in unison," she teased, and the two teens fidgeted, feeling thoroughly flustered.

Then Hestia sobered up and said, "Listen here kiddo's, if there's anything that I've learned from this arson nightmare, it's that time waits for no one. You two could have easily been in there and have gotten injured or worse. You're not doing yourselves any favors waiting around. 'Specially you, Beth. You of all people should know the value of time - don't waste it. You owe it to people like Piper that never got all of their time to spend yours wisely. You're both young, you're both wonderful people - go out and date! What's the worst that could happen? Is the possibility of heartbreak really worth never knowing what could've happened?"

Percy and Annabeth sat quietly, pondering what she was saying, until she spoke again. "Look, you two are flat out lying to each other if you say that you don't feel something for each other. Now do us all a favor and get together already!"

Annabeth cracked a nervous smile, and even Percy's lips curved upwards slightly. Hestia huffed and stood up, wrapping her jumper tighter around her body, before looking at the two teens one final time. "What in the world are you two still doing here? Get the hell off my property before I call the fuzz," she said, mock-angrily.

The two teens stood up quickly, not eager to truly anger her, and respectfully walked away, but not before Percy gave her a hug and quick kiss on the cheek. Annabeth too gave the older woman a brief hug, feeling suddenly warmer as though coming into contact with her made her soul feel cozy. It was a bizarre feeling, kind of like getting a big hug from your favorite grandmother, the one that always smothers you with love and stuffs you so full of amazing food, you don't think you'll be able to eat for a week.

"Bye, Hestia. Stay safe," Annabeth whispered to her before she detached.

"You too, Beth. Take care of Kelp Head for me," Hestia whispered, her voice laced with concern.

Annabeth merely nodded and went to follow Percy. Hestia waited out on her front porch, her arms wrapped around her body, until the two teens disappeared from sight. Neither Annabeth nor Percy mentioned how unnerving it was to see Hestia so rattled, but then again, anyone would be if their home burned down. Up until that fateful night, Hestia had lived in the shelter herself in a separate room to take care of all the occupants.

According to her, the surviving occupants were out on the streets again, either in new shelters or finding abandoned buildings to stay in. Percy had already offered his crumbly apartment building up as living space for those that needed it, but it could only fit so much. Percy dutifully smuggled food in for everyone, and Hestia was still providing meals to everyone that asked, but it simply wasn't enough. Those that were injured didn't have enough money to pay for medical attention, and even though Hestia did her best to patch them up, there was no way that she would be able to remedy the third degree burns inflicted on some of the occupants.

The thought of the innocent women and children sporting horrific burns made Annabeth's blood boil. She didn't know how many times she had cried herself to sleep, wishing that she had had Percy's resolve the night that Luke burned down the shelter. She now wished that Percy had taken things a step farther that day behind the school when the other three boys had finally collapsed in exhaustion. In her mind, living with the guilt simply wasn't enough; they would forget, and then all those lives that had been lost would have been in vain.

Annabeth had therefore begun working on a project in secret, gathering funds to start up a new shelter. She had already talked to her mother and father's wealthy friends into potentially donating some money to find the opening of a new and better shelter that could house more people. There was still a long way to go, but it gave Annabeth something to do to deal with her guilt, something to work towards. She couldn't remember ever wanting something more in her life. For once, she felt that she would be able to do something right. If everything went according to plan, she would have enough money by the end of the month.

The thing that she was most looking forward to was the look on Percy's face when she revealed the project to Hestia and everyone. She had come far enough for that not to be the single motive behind her actions, but she still loved imagining what his expression would look like. To top it all off, Annabeth was designing the entire building herself, thereby allowing her to fulfill her long time dream of building something. It wasn't what she had initially imagined, but now she couldn't see herself building anything else. This time, she wanted to build something permanent not for it to live as her mark on the world, but to help those in need for as long as it could. She realized that it was a lofty vision, but it was one that she was determined to deliver.

"You know, what would you say if I asked you out?" Percy asked, breaking the silence.

Annabeth stopped dead in her tracks and looked at him incredulously, pretty sure that she had heard him wrong. She said something real intelligent like, "Huh?"

Percy gave her a shy smile that made her heart do backflips. "Umm, I'm wondering that if I asked you out, would you say yes?"

She blinked a few more times and refrained from pinching herself to make sure she wasn't dreaming. "Probably," she said off-handedly, just to tease him.

Percy's face kind of a fell, a flicker of disappointment coursed through his sea green eyes before Annabeth burst out laughing. "I'm just kidding, of course I would, Seaweed Brain!"

He smiled so big it looked like his face would split in two before it fell slightly and he sighed before rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "I-I just wanted to say that I'm not there yet, but I'm getting there. I know that's selfish of me, but I'm still coming to terms with the fact that someone can care about me. The fact that it's you is even harder to wrap my mind around," he said, his voice despondent in tone.

"The fact that it's me?" Annabeth asked suspiciously, and Percy looked at her in alarm.

"Oh, no! I didn't mean it like that. It's just that, you've always been that unattainable girl in our school, and stuff, so it's kind of strange that you'd want to go out with me," he explained, and Annabeth scoffed.

"Hate to break it to you, Perce, but we're already kind of going out. I mean, there aren't that many friends that do what we do, the way that we do it. But I can get that you need some time, I don't want to rush things again," she said, shivering at the memory she had of assaulting him.

"Thanks, Annabanana, I really appreciate it," he said, and for a while the two walked in silence, until Percy sighed again.

"What?" Annabeth asked, and he shook his head.

"This isn't fair to you. You've told me so many things about you, but you still don't know much, if at all about me," he said sadly, and Annabeth shrugged.

"I always figured that you would tell me when you trusted me. Besides, I don't want to make you share anything that you don't feel comfortable with," she said, and he gave her a small smile before going silent.

"I was abused as a child," Percy said randomly, and Annabeth stopped suddenly, feeling thoroughly disoriented.

"What?!" She demanded. Annabeth had kind of guessed, but she never really wanted to believe it.

Percy shrugged indifferently, as if to downplay its importance. "There was a man that would always come and hurt me. I don't know who he was or why he did it. He wasn't even my real father, but he was always there. He would do... horrible things to me. He would hit me, punch me, choke me, kick me. Sometimes he would burn cigarette butts against my skin. He would also hurt my mom. I think he might have raped her a couple times. Sometimes he made me watch when he hurt her, and would hurt me if I cried for him to stop," he said, his voice emotionless, as though he was referring to somebody else.

Annabeth's head was reeling. She had never guessed that this was what had happened to him. She always knew that something terrible had happened to him, but she never knew just how bad things had been for him.

Percy cleared his throat. "One night, He came over and was particularly vicious. He spent probably two hours hurting me before moving to my mom. I never knew exactly what he did that night, but all I knew was that after he left, she just wouldn't stop crying. Mom cried after he visited a lot, but it was never so bad that she didn't stop after an hour or two. Then after about six hours, she suddenly quieted down, and once I felt strong enough to go outside, I went into the living room. She was twirling off the ceiling fan, her neck snapped in two," he said, his voice choking, his head turned resolutely in the other direction.

Annabeth stared at him in shock. His lean frame began shuddering, and it took her a second to realize that he was sobbing. Without thinking, Annabeth wrapped her arms around him, and hugged him from behind, trying to absorb the racks of pain that coursed through his body. She propped her chin on his shoulder so that she could talk to him.

"Shh, it's alright, Percy. Things will get better, I swear," she said, not really knowing what to say.

"B-But it won't! God, don't you understand, Annabeth? It never gets better! This is how it will always be for me. I escaped that monster and my tormented, half-insane mother, but for what? Now, I live in a building that could collapse at any moment, going to a school where everybody hates me. I can see it in their eyes, the way they wish that I didn't exist. Sometimes, when it gets so dark at night that you can't see your hands in front of you, I kind of wish that I didn't exist, too, because then that way, no one would have anything to hate," he choked out.

Annabeth was at a loss of what to say. What could she say that didn't sound disingenuous? How could she tell him that things were going to be alright when she already had one foot in her grave? What could she possibly tell a guy like him that had never known anything other than suffering and pain all his life?

Percy turned around to look at her, and Annabeth felt the breath leave her body when she saw how angry he looked. His sea green eyes were so dark they could be black merely rimmed with a dark green, and she had never seen anyone look so angry in her life.

"How can I tell you that I love you when I can't even love myself? You want to see how much I hate myself, how much I wish that I didn't exist?" He demanded, his voice bitter. Suddenly, he began to unwrap the bandages that surrounded his forearm, but Annabeth already knew what she would see.

Her heart thumped in her throat when she saw the familiar slashes along his arm, and there were new ones to join with the old. They weren't words anymore, as if Percy could no longer even think of words to describe himself, and had just transitioned to slashing horizontally.

Tentatively, Annabeth probed his scars gently with her fingers, and while Percy didn't wince, his jaw did tighten. Tears still rolled off his pale, hollow cheeks and they now dripped onto Annabeth outstretched hand. They strangely burned on contact, but she was pretty sure it just felt that way because of the way she felt about Percy, like his tears pained her as much as they pained him.

An idea struck Annabeth, and slowly, she brought his forearm up, locking eyes with him so that he could easily see what she was doing. When he didn't pull or jerk his hand away, Annabeth moved it closer and closer until it was right under her chin. Even more slowly, she leaned forward, still keeping her eyes locked, and pressed the softest of kisses against his scarred forearm. Percy shivered slightly, but otherwise did nothing to pull away, so Annabeth kissed his arm again and again and again, trying to kiss all of his pain away.

Then suddenly Percy's hands were on either side of her face, and he was leaning in, with his eyes half-closed. Annabeth's heart skipped a beat as he neared her, his breath lightly puffing against her skin, making her shiver. Then just when she thought he was going to kiss her, he leaned away and kissed her cheek before embracing her.

Quelling the feelings of disappointment rising through her chest, Annabeth returned his hug, trying to vent her frustration in that simple action. Percy withdrew and dried his tears before saying, "I'll get there one day, Annabeth. Please, don't be disappointed with me. It's just hard being intimate with people after having a childhood like mine."

Annabeth smiled sadly at him because in all honesty, she couldn't blame him. "It's alright, I understand. I don't want you to do anything that you aren't comfortable with. Like you said, we'll get there eventually. I just need to know if you feel anything for me," she said.

Percy smiled wryly at her. "I've never been in love before so I wouldn't know, but when I'm around you, I don't always feel so mad at the world. When I'm with you, I don't hate my existence and everybody around me. When I see you, it feels like I've never seen anyone so beautiful in my life. Is that love?" Percy asked innocently, and Annabeth tried to calm the butterfly's fluttering in her stomach.

"Yeah, that'll do it."

* * *

_Beep. Beep. Beep. _

Annabeth didn't know how long she had been staring up at the ceiling as a delightful mixture of chemicals entered her blood stream. She had already lost her hair sometime ago, but she had been fortunate enough to find a wig that looked almost exactly like her old hair. She still hadn't told Percy.

She sighed deeply, trying to clear the haze clouding her brain, but it was to no avail. Her parents were going to pick her up soon. She only had thirty minutes left anyways. Her hand twitched and her fingers spasmed violently, something that was becoming more and more frequent as the days passed. The tremors had started a couple days after her last visit to the hospital, so she only told her doctor earlier today. Apparently, the spasms were merely side effects of her spine cancer. Her nerves would not always be in her control, her doctor had said.

Then like that, the nurse was hovering over her, sliding the needle out of her skin and telling her that she did a good job. Time seemed to hold no meaning during chemo. Annabeth didn't miss the pity in her hazel eyes when she took in her pathetic form, half awake in her drug induced stupor. Annabeth felt so ashamed and angry. That woman didn't have any right to do that to her. She didn't need or want her pity. She realized that she had cancer and that she was dying, _thank you very much_. There was certainly no need for everyone to act so shocked by it.

Suddenly, Dr. Solace walked into the ward and the nurse was quickly engaged in a conversation of whispers. Finally, she nodded respectfully, and walked out of the room. Dr. Solace sat down on chair next to her bed, his expression indecipherable.

Annabeth felt a chill run through her system. She could tell this wasn't going to be good news.

She turned her head away from him and rolled down her sleeves before saying, "Let me guess, you have bad news."

"I do. Do you want your parents in here?" Dr. Solace asked, and Annabeth shook her head.

"They're not going to be here for a while. I can just tell them later. Fire away, doc," she said half-heartedly.

Dr. Solace studied her for a moment, but if he was disturbed by her general nonchalance, he was doing a good job of hiding it. "Well, I know you're not one to beat around the bush, so here's the facts: 1. There is no evidence of remission, but your tumor has shrunk in size somewhat. It's still not small enough to operate on, but if push comes to shove, then that might be something that we take into consideration. 2. Your cancer has spread-" He said before Annabeth cut him off.

"Spread where?" Annabeth demanded, dread coursing through her body.

He pursed his lips before sighing in resignation. "The scans are showing signs of the cancer crawling up your optic nerve. It's spreading to your eyes. If we don't do something soon, it'll get to your heart. In fact, it's already starting to. If things don't quiet down in a month, we're going to be in some serious trouble. Even if I could operate on your spine, and that's a big if, in order to perform surgery on your eyes or, god forbid, your heart, we would need an organ transplant, and that's problem number three. Our donor lists are too full to get you your transplants in time," he explained.

Annabeth remained silent as she absorbed all of the information, and her head started to hurt. "What're you saying? Is there any hope for me?"

The doctor shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "Well, you could look into possibly finding donors at another clinic, but from what I've heard, the other hospitals are just as crammed as we are. You might want to potentially look at exploring options in Europe. The surgeons there are top class, but I can't say anything for sure. There are a host of complications with things like eye and heart transplants - the body needs to be primed to accept them, and your blood type will play a huge role in determining your matches. The fact that you're O negative isn't doing anything to help your chances. There are options out there, but I'm not entirely sure how successful you'll be."

"What should I do?" Annabeth asked.

"Well, I think we should stick with what we're doing now. We might want to consider the possibility of preemptively operating on your eyes without a donor to stop the spread. If we keep the chemo up, there's a good chance we'll bust the spine cancer and be able to operate. The cherry on top is going to be the potential of it spreading to your heart. For that, I'm going to recommend some targeted chemotherapy specifically to combat the spread from reaching your heart. That's about the best we can do for now. To be honest, we'll just wait and see," Dr. Solace said.

"What a poor choice of words, doc," Annabeth said with a bitter smile.

* * *

**A/N: So Annabeth might lose her gorgeous gray eyes. I hope I didn't frustrate too many of with the anti-kiss. It's getting there, I promise. You learn a little bit more about Percy, and he finally revealed almost everything to Annabeth. He has one final trump card left, and that's coming soon, so brace yourself - it's going to tie everything in together in a way that will blow your mind. There probably won't be more than 25 chapters, so the story is quickly coming to a close. I know it's a lot to ask, but it would be super cool if I could get to 600 reviews this chapter. If you take like five seconds to drop a small review, it would mean the world to me. I also have a poll up for possible book titles, so if you could answer that, that would be super cool. Thanks for reading, and as always: Follow, Favorite, and Review!**

**This week's recommendation: "So Far Away" by TheDemigodProject. On top of having the most hilarious/intriguing profile that I have ever seen, his story is also pretty amazing. There's only one chapter out so far, but it looks super promising. **


	19. Reconciliation

**A/N: Try for the 700 review mark? Thanks!**

**Reconciliation**

She had to be imagining it. There was simply no way that that fuzzy spot that had appeared in her vision for a few seconds was real. Her vision was _not_ fading that quickly. This couldn't be happening to her. Out of all the ways to go, why did she have to die without the ability to see? That was like a hell before hell. If she was being honest, Annabeth would tell you that she felt like she was already in purgatory; in limbo, not yet dead, but not completely alive, just waiting to die.

Annabeth blinked as she stared down at her english book. She was recovering from her strange vision attack. A fuzzy spot had appeared in her right eye for about ten seconds, and it was the closest she felt to dying since she had discovered her cancer. It was befitting that she had chosen "The Emperor of All Maladies," as her non-fiction book for English class; after all, it was a book about cancer, and she was pretty much an expert, no a _primary document_ on that shebang.

The one good thing to have come from the recent week was that she and Percy had agreed to go camping in the Catskills during the coming weekend. Not for the first time since her latest hospital visit, she wondered if she would be able to complete all of the items on her list. For some reason, she wasn't sure that she would be able to, but she chose to maintain an optimistic view.

She sighed in frustration, and ran her fingers through her wig in exasperation, pulling the strands out of her face. Wispy tendrils still hung over her forehead, and that annoyed her more than anything. Annabeth thought that it was very interesting how she could still have enough energy to remain annoyed about things as petty as her looks when she bore such a severe condition.

Her dad had not taken the news well at all about her condition. He had broken down crying, mumbling something under his breath about karma or something of the sort. Annabeth didn't know exactly what to make of that, and she didn't really care. So long as her father was the one to break the news to her mother, then all was well in her world. Annabeth had absolutely no interest in speaking to her mother when she was in some sort of denial about the whole thing. It was just another item on the long list of abuses that she had to suffer.

When her left index finger trembled, she violently smashed it against her desk in anger. Thankfully, it stopped shaking, and she huffed in annoyance. The tremors were getting worse. They were starting to happen at all hours. Sometimes it would take a hold of her entire wrist and she wouldn't be able to write or grasp things. That only happened once at home, but she was sure that that was a sign of escalation. Things were undoubtedly going to get worse from here on out.

Nightmares of being totally paralyzed plagued her mind when she fell asleep. There was that dream, and the dream where she woke up completely blind. Once or twice those nightmares overlapped, and that was a particularly horrifying experience. Often times she would have to give herself a few minutes to calm down after she woke up, before she could get ready for school. She no longer had the energy to do her daily morning run, but she didn't have to worry about getting fat. Chemo made sure that she stayed nice and emaciated because she puked out everything that she ingested.

Annabeth sighed to herself. It was almost midnight, and she was still reading her book. Normally, she would have been done quite a bit earlier, but she was too distracted to really pay attention. Her eyelids drooped, and she fought back a yawn. There was still work to be done, but sleep sounded really good right then. She decided that she would just wake up early, and finish her assignment then instead of staying up. There was no way that she was going to stay focused, so it behooved her to use her time wisely now and sleep instead.

The door opened slowly, and Annabeth swung her head in that general direction. She was surprised to see her mother standing in between the frame, a haggard expression on her face. Annabeth blinked once or twice as she took in her mother's attire. Athena was wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt; that was practically unheard of. Even Annabeth rarely saw her in anything other than her work clothes. She resisted the urge to stand up or at least straighten her posture or something. There was something about her mother that made you want to look proper, probably because it feels like you are under constant examination.

"Mother?" Annabeth questioned. She never called her mom. That just sounded wrong to her.

Athena glided into her room, and sat on her daughter's bed, clasping her fingers on her lap. "Honey, how are you?" Athena asked quietly.

Annabeth was taken aback. Her mother hadn't called her "Honey" since she was seven years old. "I'm fine," she said, making it sound more like a question than a statement.

"That's good," her mother said awkwardly. Annabeth sat expectantly, waiting for her to continue. Athena sighed deeply, and gently closed her eyes.

"Annabeth, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry," she began. Annabeth felt like she had gone in shock. "I haven't always been the mother that you've wanted me to be, and I can understand why you don't like me."

"I like you, Mother," Annabeth said truthfully. "It's just hard sometimes," she trailed off.

"Hard?" Athena asked.

Annabeth threw her hands up somewhat in exasperation, trying to find the right words. "It's hard... because you want so much from me, and I don't ever feel like I've done enough, that I'm good enough."

"Oh, Annabeth, you are good enough. I just... I just want you to succeed. That's all I've ever wanted for you, honey. I want you to be happy," Athena said quietly, her voice sorrowful.

"Sometimes it's easy to forget that when all you tell me is that you want me to be like Malcolm and that I have a lot riding on me and that I can't fail. It gets to be a bit much," Annabeth elaborated. It felt amazing to finally get that all out.

"I'm sorry, but why didn't you tell me before?" Athena asked.

"Because you weren't ready to listen before," Annabeth countered, and Athena looked away, chastened.

"I've been a bad mother," Athena whispered, and for some reason, Annabeth felt a lump form in her throat. "I've been so busy trying to push you so that you would be happy that I didn't realize that my pushing wasn't making you happy in the first place," she finished.

Annabeth crawled over to her bed, and sat next to her mother. She took her hand, and squeezed it reassuringly. "I have been happy, and you aren't a bad mother. We've just had our misunderstandings; that's all."

Athena smiled softly at her daughter, locking eyes with her as she brushed a loose strand of hair out of her eyes, looking motherly for the first time that Annabeth could remember in a long time. "I'm proud of you, Annie. So proud," she whispered, and then the water works began. Annabeth burst into tears - kind of crying, kind of laughing - and Athena held her in a warm embrace that warmed her soul.

Annabeth didn't know how long she had wanted to hear those words from her mother. Now that she finally had, and given the circumstances, the sudden display of emotion was definitely warranted. Athena held her daughter tightly, and placed a soft kiss on her head, swaying back and forth. Annabeth collapsed, and rested her head on her mother's lap. Athena smiled, and ran her fingers through her daughter's hair, combing through it fondly like she used to do when she was a youngster, coming back from elementary school with a toothy grin as she proudly held up her report card. She would look at Annabeth, and beam at her, telling her loudly that it was time for ice cream. Annabeth would squeal and bound up and down, racing out of the house, dragging her mother to the car.

Athena herself covered her mouth as she began to cry, arrested suddenly by a flood of sweet memories that left her weak in the knees. She could see Annabeth nervously bouncing on her toes as she waited for the bus to come on the first day of school. The bus came, and when the door opened, she turned back with a worried expression to look at her. She smiled reassuringly and nodded for her to get on the bus, and after a split second of indecision where she scrunched her eyebrows and wrinkled her nose just like she herself did, she made for the bus. Athena smiled as she saw her fall in line with all the other children, but when she had to actually climb up the stairs, she turned on her heels and fled to her mother, hugging her tightly before making her way up the stairs.

_Where did it all go wrong? _Athena wondered to herself sorrowfully.

She remembered the time that Annabeth had come home during second grade, happily proclaiming that she had a boyfriend. When she had laughed, Annabeth got upset, and demanded an explanation. Athena patiently told her that she was much too young to be dating, and that she should have been focusing on her school work. Then Annabeth had thrown her hands up in protest, and declared, "But he gave me ice cream, and I promised!"

Athena started giggling to herself, and Annabeth looked up at her with watery eyes and a questioning look. "What?"

Her mother smiled fondly, and shook her head. "Remember in second grade when you told me you had a boyfriend?"

"What? Really? No, I don't remember," Annabeth said, closing her eyes contentedly as Athena's fingers continued to comb through her tresses.

"You came home all excited and told me, 'Mom, Jimmy Parsons told me that we were boyfriend and girlfriend today,' and I laughed. You got mad and asked me why I was laughing, and then I told you, 'Oh, you're much too young to be dating, Annie,' and you cried and said, 'But he gave me ice cream, and I promised!'" Athena said with a chuckle. Annabeth started laughing herself before looking back up at her mother.

"Did I really say that?"

"Yup. Your father and I would laugh about that all the time," Athena said, nodding in affirmation. Annabeth looked flabbergasted.

"What other things do you and dad say about me?" She asked.

Athena looked down at her with a knowing look and a twinkle in her eye. "Oh, this and that. Nothing special."

Annabeth gasped indignantly at her mother. "You're lying!"

Athena merely smiled back at her, and Annabeth's frown slid into a lazy smile, and she yawned. Sleepily, Annabeth clasped her hands underneath her head, and mumbled, "Tell me another story about me when I was younger," she said.

For a while Athena remained silent, thinking and sifting through memorable moments that she had shared with her daughter. When she found the perfect one, a wistful grin slid across her face. "I remember once when I was working on a very important architecture project during the winter, you got sick and had to stay home from school. Your father had a board meeting with the dean of the university, so he couldn't stay home that day, so I did. I remember that I told you that you had to sleep the entire day, and that you couldn't annoy me because I was working on something important. But you wanted to go sledding outside even though you were sick, and I wouldn't let you," Athena began.

Annabeth smiled to herself. She remembered this story all too well. "So you went up to your room, and decided that you would sneak out. You opened your window, threw down all your pillows, and jumped. You ended up spraining your wrist because you fell on it. I heard your yelp, and I went outside and saw you sprawled on top of three of your pillows, and saw that your window was open. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I took you inside and gave you a warm bath. Because you were sick and in pain, I stopped working for the day, and stayed with you in your room. You felt so guilty about that. And I remember that you laid down on my lap, your forehead burning like a furnace, and you hugged my stomach and mumbled something. I asked you what you said, and you said-"

"I love you, Mommy," Annabeth finished quietly. Athena blinked in surprise, and looked down at her daughter, who was looking up at her with shining eyes.

"Yes," Athena breathed back.

"Some things never change, huh?" Annabeth asked, grinning up at her.

"No. No, I guess they don't."

They both remained in silence for a few seconds, thankful for each other's company. It had been far too long since they had bonded or done something like this. The sudden outpour of emotions felt so incredibly cathartic for the both of them.

"Sing me to sleep, Mom," Annabeth asked quietly, and Athena nodded, watery-eyed.

_When you're weary,_  
_Feeling small_  
_When tears are in your eyes,_  
_I will dry them off_  
_I'm on your side,_  
_When times get rough_

_And friends just can't be found_  
_Like a bridge over troubled waters,_  
_I will lay me down_  
_Like a bridge over troubled waters,_  
_I will lay me down..._

* * *

**A/N: Phew, I finally updated! This chapter was originally going to be a filler, and probably very bad, but I am astounded by how well it turned out. I spent the last two weeks thinking about how I was going to write the next chapter, and I was completely out of ideas. Today, all of this just came to me. It's a little short, but I think that it's the best chapter so far. I kind of got teary eyed when I wrote about all of the memories that Athena and Annabeth had together. It really got me thinking about my own relationship with me parents, and really saddened me because I feel really detached from them. ****I remembered how my mom used to do the exact same thing when I was a little kid, and I was tired. I would rest my head on her lap, and she would stroke my hair as she told me about her childhood in India. She always told the most enrapturing stories, and then she would always sing me to sleep. I don't know - I guess I kind of miss that. I urge all of you to try and remember one of those moments that you shared with your parents; it'll really bring things in perspective for you if you aren't on the best of terms with them. Anyhow, I digress. I hope you enjoyed the chapter, and as always: Follow, Favorite, and Review!**

**PS: Thanks for helping me get over the 600 mark! It really means a lot! Also, I have two new one-shots coming up, so be on the look out for that! One of them is a Piper/Leo one-shot, that's following this little latin motif that I've started with. If you remember or have read "amor fati" then you know what I'm talking about. The second is a story of Reyna and an OC having a sort one-sided romance. The OC is actually going to be me with a different name, so that'll be fun! Oh, and I'll be a blind boy in that story, so it's gonna be good!**

**This Week's Recommendation: the things we do, and what happens after by mcfuz. Honestly, I can't even call myself an author when there are people this good out there. I'm going to assume that the author is a she (if it's a he, my apologies), but she totally puts my writing to shame. That's probably the best PJO one-shot that I've ever read on the site so far. Definitely, definitely check it out. **


	20. Elpis

**Elpis**

"Christ, I wish I wasn't out of shape," Percy grumbled, deflecting the branch Annabeth had just released.

Annabeth turned her head, and smiled at him. "You're not that out of shape, you big baby," she argued, laughing slightly. Percy huffed deeply, and closed his eyes for a second before opening them again. He shook his head in resignation, chuckling softly as well.

"That's easy for you to say," he retorted.

Annabeth shook her head, and waved her hands forward urging him to go quicker. The trail they were hiking on was pretty tough, and the fact that Percy had never been out of the city his entire life certainly didn't help. Their plan was to make their way up to a camping spot, and to stay there for the night before going back down a different trail. They hadn't brought tents, only sleeping bags, so Annabeth prayed that it wouldn't rain. According to the weather forecasts, it wouldn't, but weather was fickle; anything could happen.

It was still somewhat hot due to the noonday sun, but the trees provided a natural chill that kept them insulated. Annabeth wrapped her silver storm breaker tighter around herself as she waited for Percy to catch up. He popped up a few seconds later, clutching at his usual ratty green sweatshirt. The disdainful look he shot at Annabeth made her smirk back at him.

"Nature is nice, they said. Camping is fun, they said," he said sarcastically, and Annabeth laughed.

"Well city boy, welcome to the great outdoors. I am pretty sure that it's equally as happy to make your acquaintance," Annabeth said, gesturing to their surrounding and bowing theatrically.

Percy scoffed and said, "Yeah, judging by the amount of mosquitoes making an acquaintance with my blood, I'm pretty sure that we feel the same way about one another."

Annabeth merely smiled, and shook her head. Together, they both proceeded up the trail, moving slowly but surely. They passed through a copse of trees, and came to a small clearing fit with picnic benches. Annabeth glanced at her watch and noticed that it was nearly one in the afternoon, and that they should probably stop for some lunch.

"Percy! Lunchtime!" she called out.

"Good. I'm hungry," he grumbled, plopping unceremoniously on the ground before rolling onto his back and breathing heavily.

Chuckling to herself, Annabeth sorted through her massive backpack looking for the food that she had packed for the trip. She tossed Percy a sandwich and granola bar, which landed softly on his stomach. He let out a little cry of surprise causing Annabeth to laugh.

He shot her a disdainful look and said, "Not funny."

They sat down for a while, and munched contemplatively on their sandwiches, drinking in the scenery. Swallowing, Percy said thoughtfully, "You know, if you get rid of the blood-sucking insects and awful weather, the outdoors are actually kind of nice."

"City slicker," Annabeth teased, but Percy frowned at her.

"Was that supposed to be an insult."

"Point proven."

Percy shot her a small smile. "I'm proud of you Annabanana! You're becoming wittier as the days go by."

Annabeth gave him a wry look. "Feel free to take the credit for my accomplishments."

"I think I will," Percy said, grinning as he leaned back against a tree trunk.

"Jerk," Annabeth mumbled, not really meaning it.

Within minutes, they were up and walking again. Annabeth ignored the fact that the tremor in her left hand was growing increasingly worse. She had chemo the next week, and that was always a delightful experience. She had finished her letters already. She had seen enough medical stuff in movies to know that she had to "get her affairs in order." According to what Doctor Solace had said last week, she had maybe a month tops if the chemotherapy didn't work. He had called a few days before the trip to say that her scans had come back, and that they weren't looking too good.

Doctor Solace was referring her to another colleague of his to consider the possibility of preemptively operating on her spine. There was apparently a very real and present danger of paralysis if the tumors got worse. So far, the tumor was not responding to the chemotherapy all that much, and there was evidence that the spread was approaching her heart. In a few months, the cancer would reach her heart, and the rapid, unchecked cell division would effectively stop her heart, killing her.

It seemed to her that as the days progressed, she became more and more comfortable with the fact that she was dying. Well, maybe comfortable wasn't the right word to use. More aware, would be a better sentiment. For once, it seemed like her demise was real. She was quite aware that she had cancer, but it never made her _feel_ like she was going to die. Now, there was some feeling in her stomach that felt like an unpleasant coolness, sort of like the feeling of a doctor's stethoscope touching your skin for the first time. It was a gnawing sensation that put her in constant discomfort. She wasn't sure if that was just the myriad of drugs flushing through her system or just her imagination.

"You're thinking deep thoughts. Spill," Percy said suddenly, shattering her musings.

She gave him a look of surprise that morphed into a wry smile. "Always a poet," she joked, and Percy fondly rolled his eyes.

"Well, I guess that it's just never felt this real before, you know?"

"Real?" Percy prompted.

"Real. Real, as in, as the days go by, dying feels _closer,_" Annabeth clarified. She wasn't entirely sure why she hadn't told him about her recent developments yet, but she didn't want to for some reason. Maybe it was out of some sense of misguided heroism that she felt, to shield him from the knowledge of her nearly assured death.

"Oh," Percy said, nodding in a clipped manner.

Annabeth broke the silence before it could form. "It's just tangible, like a feeling of something deep inside me, gnawing away. It's awful."

Percy blinked. "Sounds like it."

"Yeah, it is. I wonder how everybody else gets through it," Annabeth wondered out loud, and Percy shrugged.

"The way that I see it, there are three common responses to personal tragedy. Religion, philosophy, and emotion," he said.

"How do you mean?" she asked with interest. Maybe he would say something that would offer her comfort.

"Well, there are people that turn to God and scripture in times of need to find strength. They find solace in the belief that there is a grand plan and a divine deity that is ensuring their well being, merely putting them through trials and tribulations to test their faith. If all else fails, most of 'em believe in a heaven of some sort, and pray like mad in hopes of salvation. Then you have the people that read philosophy, whatever it be. Some people become nihilists and view their suffering as natural and death as natural. Some people become existentialists and are determined to do something of value, and desire to accumulate a wealth of experiences to enjoy their lives. Then there are just the people that either pretend that nothing's going wrong or act like chickens with their heads cut off and panic."

Annabeth pondered for some time before asking her next question. "Well, what have you done to cope with your demons?"

Percy remained silent for a while, and Annabeth wondered if she pressed a little too far before he sighed, and shoved his hands into his sweatshirt pockets. "Withdrawal's a bitch," he muttered.

"Come again?"

"Nothing. A little of everything, I guess. You try your hand to see what sticks. Mainly, I've been trying to go with philosophy, but it only helps so much. Nothing can take away the terror and helplessness that you feel in the spur of the moment because none of these fancy ideals and coping mechanisms exist then," he sighed.

"What about religion? That seems to help the majority of people around the world," Annabeth offered.

"I tried, but that died the quickest. Because there comes a point when it becomes more than you can bear, where your suffering becomes indistinguishable from your identity, and you look at the sky and cry, beg for God, someone, something to save you, but you only hear the sounds of your own empty screams echoing endlessly. And that's when you know," he said bitterly.

"Know what?" Annabeth said, chastened.

Percy looked away from her with a fire in his eyes, masking an inferno of pain, sorrow, and misery. "That there's nothing there, that there's no one to save you, that your hope was for naught, vested in something that never existed in the first place, and if it did exist, it abandoned you. When you realize that you're abandoned, alone... you'll never feel anything as numbing as that loneliness, that absence. All I heard in my head was, 'Where's your god? Where's your god now?'"

She remained silent for a few seconds. He turned to her with a wry smile.

"If there is a god, he will have to beg for _my_ forgiveness."

Annabeth nearly stopped walking. How was it that Percy said things like that? How are you supposed to respond to things like that? Percy's little soliloquy had effectively shut down the conversation, but it gave Annabeth more than enough to ponder.

She had never been a particularly religious girl, but there were moments when she would offer a quick prayer to Athena, Greek Goddess of Wisdom. It was often before she had a test or something stressful, and she didn't know why she prayed to Athena of all people. She supposed it felt more personal because her mother shared the same name. There were times when she had felt something, like a spirit or something of the sort. There were times when she was so serendipitously lucky that she couldn't have attributed it to sheer dumb chance. There were times when it felt like there was a plan.

The matter made her feel conflicted. She couldn't conclusively cast her ballot either way, having felt that maybe there was a little bit of truth to both sides. Maybe she was an agnostic, but she knew that she would never possess the unshakable faith that Percy or other religious figures possessed. However, Percy probably possessed that conviction because he had seen things, lived through horrors that she couldn't even imagine. Even though she had cancer, her vision was slowly dying, and medical science had a better shot of saving her than an ambiguous divine entity, Annabeth couldn't let go of the hope that there was something out there.

For Annabeth, that's what it boiled down to: hope. Her god was hope. She believed in hope because she knew that if she ever let go of it, she would forsake herself to misery. So even though the odds were stacked against her, she had no choice but to hope. Hope was necessary for her to continue functioning.

She was reminded of the story of Pandora's Box. Pandora had opened the box that Zeus had given her husband Epithemeus as punishment for his brother's presentation of fire to man. Despite her husband's protests not to open the box, Pandora's curiosity got the better of her, and when Epithemeus was away for a few hours, she glanced a peek into the box. Instantly, horrible evils sprung out of the box, and before Pandora could close the box, everything had escaped.

Well, everything save one.

Hope.

Because hope only leaves when you want it to. Maybe that's why Annabeth held on.

* * *

Percy and Annabeth rested in their sleeping bags, looking up at the night sky. They had finally arrived at the camping spot just after nightfall, but it had taken awhile to finish dinner and set everything up. The campsite was empty, which was nice and disconcerting at the same time.

The stars seemed to be swirling in the night skying, forming constellations, disbanding, and forming new ones. Annabeth was pretty sure that it was just her mind playing tricks on her. Percy, for his part, was absolutely taken with the ability to see the night sky without all the light pollution in the sky. They were billions of different gleaming white pearls twinkling in a sea of inky black. He was convinced that he had never seen anything so beautiful in his life.

It was a full moon that night, and neither of them could remember seeing the moon looking that large ever in their lives. The moonlight cast gently, milky white light upon the escarpment, illuminating everything in an ethereal light. From where they were situated, Percy and Annabeth could peer over the side of the mountain, and see all the lush, dark green trees ascending towards the peak. It was a majestic sight.

"Makes you feel small, doesn't it?" Annabeth whispered.

"Yeah. It really does," Percy whispered back. For some reason, it felt wrong to disturb the natural silence taken ahold of the environment. Occasionally, they would hear the hoot of an owl or the buzzing of some insects, but the tranquility would quickly restore equilibrium afterwards.

"Thank you," Annabeth said after awhile.

Percy rolled onto his side with a bemused expression. "For what?"

"Everything, I guess. Being there, teaching me, helping me," Annabeth said quietly, feeling nothing but gratitude.

Percy smiled one of his special smiles, the ones that lit up his entire face, seemingly making him glow. It reminded her of the very first time he had smiled at her that way, back in the hallway before school all those months ago. She felt her entire body warm from her toes up to her face. Annabeth was positive she was blushing.

"You don't ever need to thank me for that," he whispered back.

Annabeth smiled back at him gently, content with how far she had come. Only earlier this same year, she was a healthy, insecure, self-absorbed girl that preyed upon the weak with malicious glee. Now, she was an independent, confident, altruistic woman that she would be proud to know. Maybe she was still insecure, but she had cleared things up with her mother and herself about her image in front of others. She felt comfortable in her own skin for once in recent memory.

Percy's gift to her would be something that she would always treasure because it built up in moments, and when her days inevitably worsen, she's glad that she has something to hold onto. She can't think him for literally changing her life. It seems too insignificant a gesture. To think that she had practically jumped his bones a few months ago! Annabeth's glad that she's made the transformation.

Instead of responding, she just looks up at the infinite expanse of star studded sky and sighs in contentment. "I wish that we could just stay up here forever. Far away from all the bad things in the world." Annabeth whispered, clasping her hands over her chest.

Percy shot her a mischievous grin and said, "Permanency is an illusion, remember?"

For a second, Annabeth remained silent before sitting up, and staring back at him with a blazing intensity that made his breath catch in his throat. "But this moment is endless."

Percy's sea green eyes went wide with surprise before swimming with some unfathomably strong emotion. At that moment, with the pale moonlight reflecting off of Annabeth's porcelain skin, her pure silver eyes baring into his soul, Percy felt a sense of completeness inside of him that he couldn't ever remember feeling. He's now convinced that _this_ is the most beautiful sight that he has ever seen.

In an instant, his hands were gently cupping her face as he kissed her softly, sweetly for the first time. Annabeth responds back seamlessly, and it's pretty much the most amazing kiss of all time. Percy feels something akin to floating butterfly's brushing with infinite tenderness inside his stomach, and a strong tugging, yearning sensation in heart. He wonders if he's got some sort of medical disorder when he realizes something far more powerful, far more troublesome, far more fulfilling is at work instead.

When Percy finally breaks the kiss, gasping for air with the biggest, stupidest grin on his face, and he sees Annabeth smiling tenderly back at him, breathing heavily as well, he knows. He's in love.

* * *

**A/N: Hello everyone! It's been exactly one month since I've updated, so I apologize. AP tests had possession of my soul for that time period. I finally found sometime to breathe, and write this chapter. I kind of love and hate it at the same time. This scene has been built up in my head so much that anything tangible is disappointing. I hope you all don't hate it seeing as it's kind of the climax of the story. I apologize if you do, but I really suck at romance. **

**Couple quick notes:  
1. Elpis is the Greek Goddess of Hope, the last being that remains in the jar after Pandora opens it, hence the title. **

**2. There are like a ton of influences here that stem from my varied tastes. The dialogue about religion is not meant to cause debate, and I will not respond to hate mail addressing that. Believe what you want to believe, but that was inspired by my reading of "Night" by Elie Wiesel, which is a marvelous book. The last thing Percy says is an actual quote inscribed in the walls of a concentration camp by a Jewish prisoner during the Holocaust, and it stole my breath away the first time I read it.  
**

**3. You should all watch the story of Zach Sobiech on YouTube. He's a kid that's got cancer that's doing amazing, amazing things. It made me cry the first time that I watched it. His story is a beautiful one.  
**

**4. You are not going to like the ending of this story, but please keep reading because I'll have the last chapter as an FAQ where I address why I did things the way I did. Stick with me, it's almost over!  
**

**Thanks for sticking in there during the wait! I hope that this chapter is worth it. I'm really nervous about it. More so than with any of the chapters thus far. If you enjoyed it, please: Follow, Favorite, and Review! I'll proof read later, it's getting late. Thank you all!**

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**This week's recommendation: "That Which We Call" by greenconverses. It's just a phenomenal one-shot. It's a quick, meaningful read. Give it a go if you haven't already seen it. **


	21. Shatter

**A/N: Will proof-read tomorrow. **

**Shatter**

The pot was on a rolling boil, the bubbles furiously racing to the water's surface. Percy deftly cut the carrots and watched as they slid into the pot, each slice differing minutely in diameter. For a while, he just stood there, hovering over the pot of water, watching as the carrots sunk slowly to the bottom. His raven hair draped over his forehead, hooding his eyes. His eyes were fixated in an almost trance like state before a sharp lance of pain shot through his body.

Pitching forwards, Percy coughed into the crook of his arm violently, his chest heaving with each expulsion of air. When he withdrew, he stared at the blood on his sleeve for a few seconds before rinsing his mouth near the tap. The sound of footsteps coming down from the stairs alerted him of Hestia's arrival, and so he quickly busied himself with some more vegetables, ignoring the way his hands were shaking.

"Perce, will you have the food ready in a half hour?" she asked.

He nodded in response, not trusting his mouth to speak after his episode. Hestia lingered for a second longer before leaving to go back up and see the other occupants of her new shelter. It was a work in progress, but they were using Percy's abandoned apartment to house most of the new occupants. They had managed to patch up some of the severely unsafe areas in the house and had managed to secure some state funding in addition to checking in on insurance claims from the old shelter. Percy had wanted to sue Luke and the rest, but Hestia said that it was going to be an uphill battle and that it wasn't worth it.

Percy stole another glance at the crook of his arm once Hestia disappeared and was shocked to see that there wasn't any blood there. Had he just imagined the entire thing? He shook his head to clear himself of his weariness. He hadn't slept properly since he had returned from the trip with Annabeth to the mountains. His circadian rhythms were askew and it made school a living nightmare. The good thing was that his disturbing nightmares had almost stopped altogether which was a blessing.

Cutting more vegetables to add to the hearty stew, Percy let his mind go blank for a while. He felt an acute sense of discomfort gnawing inside of him, and it had only been recently that he had pinpointed the cause. Annabeth was dying. He knew that much, but her conversion about its imminence had shed a more urgent light on the matter to him. The discomfort was directly linked to Annabeth's health. Over the past few days, she had looked even more weak at school. The chemotherapy and the cancer were definitely taking a toll on her.

He looked up at the clock.

_Only about an hour till she's done with chemo, _he thought.

For some reason, Annabeth had insisted that he not come for the past few chemo sessions. It worried him. You might as well have waved a red flag proclaiming Annabeth's failing health in front of him. He knew that she didn't want him to come because she didn't want him to worry. Ultimately, it was a lose-lose situation; he would have worried regardless of whether he had been present to her sessions. He strongly suspected that there were some satellite nodules at work here. From his research, he understood that Annabeth's cancer while very dangerous, was fairly easy to get rid of if chemotherapy went according to plan.

Annabeth had taken to bumping into things or standing still for several moments staring at nothing as her face drained of color. When he asked her about it, she had told him not worry about it and that she was only feeling tired, but he wasn't fooled. It was impossible for him to forget the horror on her face during such times as though the world had suddenly gone black. Her entire body would quiver and shake for several seconds before she recovered.

"Oh dear," Hestia said, racing forward to turn off the pot which held a brackish liquid.

Percy snapped out his musings and began to apologize, saying, "Sorry! It's just that I wasn't-"

"Paying attention; exactly," Hestia said wryly, trying to salvage the stew in some manner.

The teen hung his head in shame. Hestia sighed after several seconds of prodding at the black watery concoction and poured it, in its entirety, into the sink. She wheeled towards Percy and nodded for him to take a seat on the kitchen counter.

"Alright, spill. What's been eating at you? You've been completely out of it since you got here," she demanded.

Percy began to wring his wrists nervously, avoiding her gaze. "Nothing's wrong-"

"I call BS. C'mon kiddo, what's up? You're usually broody, but this is an all time low, even for you," she said not unkindly.

For a second, Percy remained silent before surrendering. "It's Annabeth, Hes. I'm-I'm worried about her," he stammered in frustration.

"Ah, girl troubles-"

"No. No, Hes, I think she's dying," Percy said.

Hestia looked at him dryly. "Gee, what gave it away? The fact that she has cancer-"

"Shut up!" Percy snarled, close to tears.

Hestia quietened instantly when she heard the pain in his voice. "If you're just going to make fun of me or her, then I don't want to talk to you about anything!" Percy barked, her green eyes glinting in the harsh fluorescent lights of the archaic kitchen.

"Alright. My bad. Let's start again, okay? You're saying Annabeth is sick," Hestia amended, holding her palms up as a sign of surrender.

Percy nodded sharply, feeling subdued and tired again. "She's just been growing paler and weaker. Her body shakes even when she's just sitting still. She gets these... these looks sometimes like she's seen the devil or something. Her face twists and she just looks so scared, so terrified. She keeps telling me that it's nothing, but it's so obvious that she's lying," Percy ranted, pouring all his worry into his words.

Hestia looked at him sympathetically. "Perce, you've known since you decided to befriend her that she might die, right?"

"Well, yeah, but this feels so much more real. Back then, it just used to be some intangible thing, but now it's staring at us straight in the face," he said with a frown, but Hestia held her palm up to stop him.

"This isn't news to you though. She's been dying, but you just didn't choose to acknowledge. Know that it's become too obvious to ignore, you're finding yourself worried out of your mind, right?" she asked.

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Well, the way I see it is that you have two options: either you treat her the same or you treat her different. Do you want to treat her like a china doll if she truly doesn't have long left?" she challenged.

Percy shook his head. "That's not the point. Hestia, she's going to die."

"Why are you making this sound so surprising to you then?" Hestia said with exasperation.

"Because it hurts! Because it hurts, dammit! Now that we're finally friends and that she's become someone amazing and that I've fallen in love with her, she's dying. It just hurts, and I don't know what to do anymore!" he shouted, feeling drained.

Hestia walked towards him and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, looking straight into his eyes. "There's nothing that you can do anymore, Percy. There's nothing you can do. All we can do know is hope that the doctors work some miracle on her to make or better or we have to just acknowledge that she'll die. You have to let her go," she said.

Percy flinched away from her touch, crying profusely. "How can you say that?! This is Annabeth we're talking about here, not some random stranger we don't know! This is a girl that lives and breathes and loves and hurts; that cares about architecture and pride and college and her parents; that snores when she sleeps and shakes when she laughs, not some zombie!"

"Well, what can we do for her, Perce? Can we just cure her?" Hestia demanded.

"No, but we can't give up on her!" Percy snarled.

Hestia stepped back, pain evident in her eyes. "Who said we're giving up on her?"

"You're the one spouting garbage about how we have to let go!"

"Percy, that's not giving up! Do you think Annabeth would want you depressed and moping around if she died? Do you think she'd want you to go back to being the hollow shell of a person that you used to be?" Hestia shouted.

Percy looked chastened. "You're only thinking about yourself, Percy, not Annabeth. It's not just you working to bring out her best you know, she was doing it too! You want to just erase all her hard work because you feel depressed about something that you have no power to change? That's an affront to her memory, everything that she's strived towards! She brought you back to fucking life, Percy, and unless Satan himself drags me to hell, there is no way that I'll let you slip back into the shadows again." Hestia fumed, pacing back and forth.

"You've had a tough life, but for all that insight, you've learned nothing! You haven't learned to be thankful for what Annabeth has done to you because you've been too busy riding your high horse, spouting philosophical bullshit at Annabeth, who was so lost that she'd have clung to just about anybody that could speak with conviction. Let me ask you something: when's the last time you thanked her for teaching you how to laugh or smile, huh? When's the last time you've looked at her, straight into her goddamn soul, and told her that you're grateful that she's with you and that you love her so much your heart aches? That's right, you haven't, because you've been too busy stroking your own ego!" she finished with verve.

Percy sat in a shocked silence, for the first time, feeling thoroughly ashamed with himself. Hestia was right - he had never treated Annabeth with the same admiration that she had treated him with. He felt strongly about her and loved her, but he had been so focused on helping her that he never saw how much she had helped him. All he had noticed was that Annabeth was important to him, but he had never seen, never told her how much she had helped him. Recollecting all the times that Annabeth had comforted him when he had cried to her in the midst of his vulnerabilities or how she challenged him to think differently about how he viewed other people, he felt hot shame course through his system. He had never told her how thankful he was that she was there, at least not as much as she had told him.

Hestia slouched, feeling the aftermath of her tirade, and her expression softened when she saw the regret on Percy's face. She chuckled soft, causing him to look up. "She's not dead yet, Perce. You still have time to tell her."

Percy stole a quick glance at the clock. He still had about twenty minutes to make it to the hospital to accompany her home if he ran now. He looked back at Hestia, a silent question in his eyes. "Go!" Hestia said, shooing him away. He stood and bolted out of the room, hastily waving goodbye to Hestia as he did so.

* * *

Annabeth was just walking out of the hospital when Percy arrived. She looked up in surprise when she saw him running towards her as though his life depended on it. Having just come out of chemo, she was wondering if it had finally gotten to her mind and was causing her to hallucinate.

"Percy?" Annabeth asked, puzzled.

"Annabeth!" Percy panted. "How'd it go?"

"Umm, fine. I have chemo again next week," she said, still sounding confused.

"Could I come?" he asked.

"Uh, yeah, sure, I guess. You'll be really bored since I'll kind of be out of it, but sure, feel free," she said.

Percy beamed. "Great! Well, I was thinking: we've never been on an actual date, have we?"

Annabeth started to smile slowly, her gray eyes sparkling. "No, I suppose we haven't," she said.

Fidgeting with his fingers, Percy met her eyes shyly. "Would you like to go on one?"

"Right now?" Annabeth asked in surprise.

"Whenever you want," Percy responded.

Annabeth looked thoughtfully at the ground. "How 'bout this: we'll head over to my house, I'll get changed and we'll go?"

"Sounds perfect," Percy said with a grin.

"Alrighty then. You know, for an aromantic, you've got this romance stuff down just fine."

* * *

"I don't think I could eat another bite," Annabeth moaned, clutching her stomach.

Percy grinned down at her fondly. "Yeah, you kind of over did it a little," he admitted.

"Not. Helping," Annabeth gritted. Percy smiled and awkwardly rubbed her back, hoping there was some invisible connection from there to her stomach. Honestly, he didn't know what in the world he was doing, so he was just kind of going with the flow.

"Well, hey, you crossed another item off your list: binge eating spree is done," he said brightly, and Annabeth glared up at him from where she was clutching her stomach. He continued patting/rubbing her and felt her relax so he continued.

They were both sitting on a park bench overlooking a pond as Annabeth attempted to recover from her "binge eating spree." It was late, but it was peaceful. Percy was going to tell her everything, express all of his gratitude without any of his worry, sometime tonight. He was just waiting for the right moment.

"We should probably get going. It's getting late and the city gets pretty dicey then," Percy advised. Annabeth nodded and together they went to her car. It was times like these that Percy wished that he could drive; Annabeth looked positively awful. Taking her on a culinary adventure the day she had chemo was not one of his better ideas.

Annabeth managed to start driving without much complaint, but the entire car ride there Percy tried to gather his wits to form coherent sentences. He wanted to pour all his gratitude into words, but he didn't no where to start. Everything he thought of sounded ridiculously sappy or ridiculously cliche.

_Annabeth, I owe you my life. You've helped me more than you can even- drat! Too cliche. Not right. Try again. Okay: Annabeth, I just wanted to express my gratitude- gratitude? Really, Percy? Try to sound casual or normal for once in your life! _

Somehow, by this time, they had made it to Annabeth's house. Percy was going to stay over to watch a movie and maybe the night if her parents were willing to be nice. His throat suddenly went dry. It was now or never. He'd lose his nerve. He had to do it now.

Annabeth started to step out of the car and Percy followed. She stopped and looked at Percy with a look of confusion before it transformed into shock.

"Oh my god! You still haven't even met my parents yet!" she said, startled.

"Err, yeah. Listen, Annabeth-" Percy began, but Annabeth opened the front door and hollered, "Dad! Get down here and meet my boyfriend."

Percy instantly had a lot more to worry about.

_Crap! What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? Just act natural? Yeah, that sounds good. Except, keep the sarcastic comments aside for now; they won't go over well._

"Annabeth!" Percy pled, but she smirked at him, enjoying his nervousness.

"Boyfriend? Honey, I've already met Luke before," Mr. Chase said, trudging down the stairs.

"We broke up. I have a new boyfriend. Dad, meet Percy. Percy, meet Dad," Annabeth said, gesturing from behind the door.

"You sure move quickly, honey," a man grumbled.

"Dad!" Annabeth said with mock-indignation.

"Kidding. Only kidding," the same voice said.

Percy felt his skin crawl, but for an entirely different reason. He had heard that voice. He knew that voice. But where? Where had he heard it before? He had the urge to run, to run and never look back. Nothing good would come of this.

"Annabeth-" Percy began for the third tonight when the door opened.

"Hi, you must be Percy. I'm Frederick Chase, Annabeth's father," a man said.

Percy's blood chilled. His pupils dilated. Every hair on his body stood up on end. The cigarette burns on his chest stung like hot irons. He knew where he had heard that voice before:

_There you are, you little fucker. Time to play._

It was Him. He'd found him again. He was back.

* * *

**A/N: Hello everyone! I told you it was going to be one hell of a twist! Muhahaha! I don't believe you if you told me that you knew that was coming. I don't have much to say; the chapter was short, but really the last five sentences were the crux of the entire chapter so I'm impressed that I managed to write so much anyways. I suspect many of you will disagree with Hestia or think she was being mean, but I think she was kind of right and that Percy needed a little tough love. Now, excuse me while I go kick a baby and eat soup made out of puppies - I am such a heartless bastard, haha. There will definitely be three chapters after this: two actual ones and then the FAQ. Think of some questions you might want to ask me for the FAQ and start sending 'em in. Well, hope you enjoyed the chapter, and as always: Follow, Favorite, and Review!**

**PS: For those of you that missed my shameless advertising on that last Author's Note: I wrote a story on Fictionpress. Read it, plox. It's called "Light on Broken Glass". You can find it by searching my name or the title (derp). Thanks to the recommendation of a fellow author/reader, I have also put the story on Wattpad (which I'm still trying to figure out). So you get to read my garbage on a litany of platforms! **

**Just for shits and giggles (Translation: If you're bored) - I got "The Emperor of All Maladies" today at the library. It's a nonfiction book about cancer, and is supposed to be awesome. It'll definitely help for the legit version of "Wolf's Law" that I may or may not have started yet (*cough* haven't *cough*). Anyhow, it'll be good fun. I'm looking forward to it. I also got Crime and Punishment, which has been on my book list since like ever. I'm a happy boy. =D**

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**This week's recommendation: "Three" by Innoverse. So Innoverse has pretty much the most consistently awesome one-shots; she just cranks 'em out like a machine. I'm certainly a fan, and this one is a particular favorite of mine. Give it a read if you have time. **


	22. Quietus

**Quietus**

"It was the strangest thing I'd ever seen in my life, Hes," Annabeth said, cupping the phone closer to her ear. She heard Hestia wince over the other end of the phone.

"Wow, was it that bad?" Hestia asked curiously.

"No, it wasn't bad, I guess; just really, really weird."

"How do you mean?"

Annabeth stopped pacing her room and flopped onto her bed, staring at the ceiling fan. She sighed and began to ramble, "Well, Percy just blanched, and I mean that the color _completely_ drained from his face. He was like bone white, and at this point, my dad's just standing there, his hand extended. Percy's looking at him like he's Satan himself, and he won't shake his hand. My dad's just kinda looking at him funny like he's seen him somewhere before, which doesn't make any sense-"

Hestia laughed on the other end of the line. "Woah, Annabeth, slow down! Start over, but try to be more clear and concise, you're speaking way too 'teenager' for me to follow."

"Okay, my bad. Well, the long and short of it is that Percy was terrified of my dad, and my dad looked like he was trying to remember where he had seen Percy before. They stood on the doorstep for maybe like two minutes, not saying anything as I stood there awkwardly. Then Percy said his full name and that his mother's name was Sally really tremulously, my dad looked like he'd been hit with an anvil, and Percy left without another word. I can't make any sense of it," Annabeth said.

There was silence over the other end of the line until Hestia sighed. "Maybe Percy was just nervous, but I highly doubt it. If you've known the boy for as long as I have, then his being spooked like that is unnatural. It takes something crazy to scare someone that's seen as much as him," she offered.

Annabeth nodded before remembering that she was on the phone and that Hestia couldn't see her anyways. "I know, that's what's really worrying me about the whole thing. Out of all the time that I've known him, I've never really seen him scared before, and when he met my dad he looked _absolutely_ mortified, like he was experiencing some sort of primal fear," Annabeth replied.

"Have you seen Percy since then?" Hestia asked after a slight pause.

"Yeah, at school, but there he seems fine. He still talks to me and everything, but something still feels off. He still hasn't mentioned the incident, and it seems like he's trying to forget it ever happened. I haven't had the courage to talk to him about it because it's spooked him so bad. He does seem a little strange around school, but I didn't know if that was just him being him or not," she responded.

Hestia sighed again before saying, "I don't know what to tell you, Annabeth. It all does seem very strange, but there's not much we can do other than guess about what was going on in his head. You should try talking to your dad or Percy about it if you really want answers. My gut is telling me that this isn't as trivial as it seems. I get the impression that there's something deeper to all of this than I originally thought, but that might just be me being old and paranoid. Like I said, talk to Percy about it. If it truly was something bad, you'll want to help him out of it."

"Thanks, Hes. That sounds like a good idea. I'm just nervous about what all of this could be about, that's all."

"Well, you'll never know until you ask. I think I have to go, Annabeth. It's almost dinner time and I need to get all this food up to the residents at the shelter. I'll see you later, and give me a call if you need me," Hestia said.

"Okay, bye."

"Bye."

With that, Annabeth turned over onto her stomach and smothered her face into the pillow before groaning. Percy had been acting subtly strange during school or whenever Annabeth saw him, and there was a look in his eyes that made him seem like he was at war with himself. They burned with pain, even more so than usual. Throughout it all, he remained stoically silent, and he never told her about what was bothering him, but Annabeth could see that there was something eating away at him on the inside.

"Annabeth, honey! Dinner!" Athena called from downstairs.

"Not hungry, mom!" she hollered back.

Turning back on her side, Annabeth stared out of her window at the night sky which was just starting to reveal a myriad of stars only starting to twinkle. As always, the sight made her feel small, and it used to make her feel insignificant, but after everything that happened this year to her, it made her feel large. She was a part of this universe, maybe a small part, but she was still a part of some conclusively larger whole. She was among a multitude of stars, galaxies, planets, nebulas, and suns, and she was _alive_, able to experience it all. She shared a planet abundant in oceans, forests, deserts, and tundras, among seven billion other sentient beings that could appreciate and understand the world around them. The idea and the sheer scale awed her.

Cancer was a part of her now, but she wasn't going to let the disease rule her life. She had remembered her promise to Percy that day in the abandoned classroom, and she knew now what he meant when he told her the same thing.

She wondered if she had truly helped Percy at all. Had she managed to get rid of the scars left behind from his childhood? Was it even possible to do that? How much had she truly given him for all that he had done for her? It was these thoughts that lulled Annabeth to a dreamless sleep.

~oOo~

Annabeth left for school early the next day like she always did, and she parked quickly to rush into the school. She wanted to see Percy and talk about what happened on the night she had dubbed "The Date That Never Was". After making her way into the school, she searched the empty corridors for Percy, and found him standing in the empty architecture room that she had met him in all those months ago.

Tentatively, she opened the door and closed it noiselessly behind her. Percy was staring at an empty easel set up and made no motions to indicate that he had heard her enter the room. She walked up silently behind him, unsure of how to start the conversation and unsure of his mood.

"Nothing's going to appear on the canvas if you keep looking at it," Annabeth joked.

Percy started and turned to her before quickly turning in the other direction, but not before Annabeth could see the tears streaming down his face. Her heart clenched inside her chest and her throat constricted.

"Percy, what's wrong?"

He refused to answer and clutched at his shirt - Annabeth could see his hands trembling as they did. She had never seen Percy look so broken in her life, and it terrified her. His wiry frame heaved with dry sobs infrequently, that tore at her heart. Annabeth wrapped her arms around him, trying to calm him down. She was right; something had happened that night, and Percy had held it in all this time.

"I feel like I'm drowning," Percy gasped.

Annabeth blinked in confusion as she tried her best to absorb the way that his body racked with pain. Out of all the things that she had expected him to say, that definitely wasn't one of them. But then again, when was the last time she was able predict anything that he did?

"What do you mean?" she asked quietly.

Percy wiped his eyes and wheeled around to face her, and Annabeth felt the air leave her lungs when she saw how much pain was reflected in them. Percy's skin had developed a pallor that was almost anemic in quality, and his face had never looked so gaunt or haunted. His wrists had slipped from their sleeves, and Annabeth nearly cried when she saw blood-soaked bandages covering his skin from the base of his palm to his elbow.

"Percy! I thought you stopped cutting!" Annabeth cried out.

He looked away with shame and said in a very quiet voice, "I tried to kill myself last night."

Annabeth felt like her whole world had stopped revolving on its axis. Percy had said the one sentence that she had dreaded hearing since she had first befriended him. He had relapsed. Not just that, he had fallen to a hell worse than the one that Annabeth had first found him at.

"You what?" Annabeth whispered, a tremor coursing through her voice.

Percy looked up at her from beneath his eyelashes, and Annabeth saw how they seemed to be sunken into his skull with black bags underneath them. "I stood on top of my apartment, and I almost jumped."

Annabeth's palm struck Percy's cheek so forcefully, the sound was reminiscent to a gunshot. Percy looked absolutely flabbergasted as he held his stinging cheek, and Annabeth couldn't contain her tears anymore, they flowed endlessly down her cheeks. Her palm hurt from how hard she had hit him, but she hit him again for good measure.

"You stupid, stupid Seaweed Brain!" Annabeth screamed.

The raven haired teenager in question looked startled to see Annabeth so upset. Annabeth let out a blood-curdling scream before throwing the closest object to her straight at Percy, which in this case happened to be a book of famous architectural monuments.

"You selfish asshole!" she bellowed, hurling a pen next.

"D-Did you even stop and think for one second about what would have happened to me or to Hestia or to anyone at the shelter if you had jumped? No, I bet you were too busy feeling sorry for yourself!" Annabeth cried, her hands fumbling to find more ammunition.

Percy, for his part, seemed defeated and ashamed. "Are you through?" he asked quietly.

Annabeth stopped her searching and blinked at him in disbelief. "Am I _through_? _Am I through_?! That's what you have to say to me after all that, not an apology?" she demanded, gesturing with her hands furiously.

He looked blankly back at her, like he couldn't process what it was she was saying. "You have no idea what's happened to me- you can't understand- you couldn't even _begin_ to understand what I'm going through," he whispered intensely.

Advancing upon him, Annabeth grabbed Percy by the collar of his shirt and pulled him inches away from her face, her bloodshot eyes glistening with tears. "Then help me understand. _Please_," Annabeth pleaded helplessly.

Percy shook his head imperceptibly. "If I did, it would be your undoing," he said solemnly.

Annabeth laughed harshly. "Percy, _I have terminal cancer_. I think I can handle whatever it is that you have to tell me," she said sardonically.

He smiled sadly at her. "I'm not gonna give you the benefit of the doubt here."

Her eyes narrowed and she clenched her jaw so tightly it hurt. "You owe it to me, Percy. You owe it to me to tell me. After all I've told you, after all we've been through, I deserve to know why you tried to commit suicide, particularly because it's somehow related to me."

"I can't. Annabeth, please understand," Percy begged, his voice soft and laden with pleading.

She pushed him away from her, disgust on her face. "I can't believe you," she sneered. "I can't believe after all this, you won't tell me."

"I'm trying to protect you," Percy said measuredly.

"Yeah, well I'm can't save you if you won't let me. I've failed you, Percy. I really have," Annabeth whispered, fresh tears pooling in her eyes.

Percy took her hands in his own and held them gently. "You haven't, Annabeth. You can't even imagine-"

"I don't think I can do this anymore, Percy," Annabeth interrupted.

His pupils dilated. "What do you mean?"

Annabeth shook her head helplessly. "I can't- I just can't do this anymore: trying to save someone that insists on wasting away, that doesn't _want_ to live. You should be embarrassed; I'm fighting for my life every single second, and you- you're just trying to throw it all away. How is that fair, Percy?"

"Do you think that my life's been a stroll in the park, Annabeth?" Percy started angrily, but Annabeth interrupted him again.

"Stop. Just stop. The problem with you is that you're satisfied languishing in your own personal Hell instead of trying to find a way out of it. You beat yourself up over and over again, you cut, you drink, but you've never tried to find a way out. You've never _tried_ for something better. It's gotten to the point where I think you enjoy it."

Percy looked like he'd been hit in the face with a shovel. "You think I _enjoy_ it?"

"It's all you've ever known, Percy. To you, that's home. You're too afraid to step away from your tree to look at the whole forest because all you've ever known is that misery. It's become so apart of you that you can't divorce your identity from it. Percy, you suffer because you're content to," Annabeth stated.

Percy stepped away from her with a thousand different emotions flying across his face: pain, regret, shock, disgust. Without another word, he left the room, slamming the door on his way out.

Once he left, Annabeth finally sank to her knees, unable to stand any longer. She just felt so numb. If Percy had died, Annabeth knew that whatever chance she had of fighting cancer would've been slashed. As much as she didn't realize it, Percy had been her rock, giving her the strength to fight her disease instead of succumbing to it. Percy's suicide would have left her weak and hollow, a living corpse waiting for cancer to run its course.

She felt like such a failure. All of her efforts to help him, to make him see that for all the dark in this world, there was still light, had failed. All the hope, all the love that she had tried to impart upon him had never reached its intended target. Months of effort had been squandered at the pinnacle, the turning point. The frustration she felt inside her was unparalleled by anything so far in her evidently short life. For the first time in a long time, Annabeth allowed herself to scream, to release all of the pain she was experiencing into one emotion laden sound. She hoped that it would at least reach Percy to show him the way back to the light.

~oOo~

Annabeth stepped into the lunch room, carrying her lunch tray. She had forgotten to pack her lunch that morning, but after all the drama earlier, she didn't really care much. She walked over to her usual lunch table, and her friends stopped their conversation to look at her with concern once she sat down. When she glanced around with tight smile, they all begrudgingly went back to their conversations. They could sense that there was something seriously wrong with their friend, but they knew better than to interrogate her.

Equilibrium seemed to have been restored. Annabeth was sitting with her usual crowd; social strata had reclaimed its wayward dissident with ruthless efficacy. For all this, Annabeth felt more empty than she ever had before. Everything seemed gray to her now, like the world didn't have color without Percy by her side. It was sappy and cliche and sentimental in all the wrong ways, but it was true.

Fiddling with the wrapper of her fortune cookie, Annabeth kept her eyes downcast and away from her friends. The lo mein had been virtually flavorless, but she wasn't sure if that was symptomatic of school food or her state of morbid depression.

Occasionally, her eyes would flit from table to table, looking for the raven haired teenager that nowadays rarely seemed to vacate her mind. She was absolutely sure that she had gone too far, and that she had cut him deeply, but she had been distraught and, more importantly, truthful. The truth often cuts deepest, and Percy was frail to begin with, so she had been callous in her efforts to pull him back.

Finally extracting the fortune cookie from its plastic cocoon, Annabeth broke it open at the middle and claimed her fortune.

_This moment might not be there tomorrow._

She stared at it for several seconds, trying to quell the flood of tears pooling behind her eyes. Quickly, she stood up and made to throw her garbage in a trash can. She was mid-stride when the world became fuzzy, as though viewed from a foggy lens. Her tray fell from her hands as a sharp pain lanced through her heart. She clutched at her shirt and sank to her knees, gasping for air.

"Annabeth!" Katie screamed, racing along with her friends towards her.

Through the haze, all she could see was a certain raven haired teen, his sea green eyes misty with a thousand different emotions and unshed tears, weaving through a crowd of students towards her. It was then that her vision went completely black and she passed out.

~oOo~

Ambulance. _Wee-yoo. Wee-yoo. Wee-yoo. _

"It's going to be alright, Annie."

Hands touching. Warm skin. Can't see. Black. Everything is black.

_My poor baby!_

Black. Black. Black. Everything is black.

"-no more excuses, save her dammit-"

_Stay strong, honey__!_

So thirsty. Throat burns. Chest hurts so much. Hurts too much.

"-can do it! Please, let me try!-"

"-can't ask you to do that-"

The softest of caresses. Wheels. The wheels on the bus go round and round.

No more colors. Only black.

_This moment might not be there tomorrow. _

"-clear the table for surgery!-"

_God is dead._

He's smiling in the bedroom, all dressed in red.

_I'm looking for the truth... Because it's permanent._

"-it's risky, but we have no choice-"

_How can I love you if I can't even love myself?_

Dead man walking. Friends with a corpse.

"-operation successful-"

Sea green eyes. Salty ocean breeze. Infectiously warm smile.

"-just tell her... just tell her that I-"

_Black. Black. Black._

Singular point of white. Spreading. Spreading. Spreading. White.

"-all up to her now. If she wants to live, she will-"

_love her_

~oOo~

There was a long path of light stretching from infinity before stopping at a wall of pure darkness. Annabeth stood at the border of the path of light, looking at the darkness. She was wondering if she should take the final step. After all, she had made it this far; it would be so easy to just take one more step, to finally see what was behind the curtain of darkness. Deep into that darkness peering, long she stood there wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before. Tentatively, she extended her hand gingerly to brush the darkness with her finger tips. They quivered as they moved ever closer, mere inches away from the black, when another hand gently caught her own.

Startled, Annabeth turned over her shoulder to see Percy smiling tenderly at her, looking free and unburdened, the way Annabeth had always fantasized about. Percy seemed to glow radiantly, like a thousand splendid suns. He took her hand slowly away from the black, and shook his head in disapproval once, his smile still lingering. She wasn't even aware that she was crying until Percy gently brushed her tears away.

_It's not your time - not yet._

Percy had spoken, surely. It was his voice, resonating within her soul, but his mouth hadn't opened, instead still curved in a tender smile. Annabeth had so many questions. Where was she? Was she dead? What was he doing here? Was this a dream? Was this reality? Her voice deserted her, and she stared dumbly back at him, tears still streaming down her face. His hand released hers and went to caress her face gently and to brush away the tear tracks left behind.

_I have but one more thing to give to you._

She wanted to ask what he meant, but before she could, Percy wheeled her away from the darkness and stood in her place, his back to the wall of dark. With his smile in place, Percy stepped backward into the darkness which enveloped him, consuming him in shadow.

Annabeth wanted to scream out, to tell him not to go, when Percy appeared again, glowing even more brightly. Feathery wings protruded from his back and a halo of light hovered above his head. His entire body shown with golden light that made him look seraphic. He smiled at her one final time, before his body converged into a beam of light that shot into the sky.

_I'll be waiting for you - on the other side._

Gasping for air, Annabeth opened her eyes to the sight of a hospital room. She was lying in a hospital bed, wearing a hospital gown. Brushing the sweat off her brow, she looked out the window to see a clear night sky. She gingerly placed her hand on her forehead, trying to make sense of whatever it was that she had just seen with the angel-that-was-Percy and the path of light and the wall of darkness. None of it made any sense to her, but it had all felt so real; she couldn't believe it was simply a dream.

Gently, she swung her feet over the edge of her hospital bed, and winced when they made contact with the chilled tile. She fumbled in the darkness until she found a pair of slippers that her parents must have brought from home for her to use. The haze she was experiencing told her that she was still heavily sedated, which probably explained the dream. A dull ebb in her chest forced her to gently probe the affected area until she found stitches over her left breast. She found a similar area on the spot parallel to her navel, on her back, resting atop the skin covering her spinal cord.

Wincing once more, she shakily stood and tried to walk the short distance to the bathroom in near absolute darkness. It took her what felt like hours until she finally hobbled into the bathroom with her jerky-dance of a gait. She fumbled against the wall to find the cleverly hidden light switch, which blinded her with fluorescence when she turned flicked it upwards. Her vision swam again before finally settling, and she managed to locate the tap to get a drink to quench her scorched throat. Eventually, she turned the tap off and looked up at the mirror. She almost had a heart attack when she saw what was looking back at her:

_Sea green eyes. _

* * *

**Please send questions for the FAQ! **

**A/N: Hello everyone! I'm finally updating because I got back from a huge college visit/road trip that I went on. Okay, I totally stole my favorite line from "The Raven" again for the dream. Just in case you didn't understand, Annabeth went blind right before she passed out (hence the blackness stuff) and the last sentence means that Annabeth has Percy's eyes now. This is the penultimate chapter, so if you've been reading and thought this story was worth reading and still haven't reviewed yet, please review seeing as how there are only one more chapter left (excluding the FAQ). If you've been reviewing all along or have already reviewed once, please keep reviewing! I be needing dose reviews, plox. Haha, well anyways, hope you liked it, and as always: Follow, Favorite, and Review!**

**PS: **So I've been alerted that I've been nominated for the Fanfiction Choice Awards, not just once but several times (oddly enough), so I just wanted to thank all of you that nominated me for putting up with my shenanigans, giving me encouragement, and helping me stumble along my literary pursuits. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart.

**Side-note:** Quietus is an actual word, meaning: death or something that causes death, regarded as a release from life.


	23. Permanent

**Permanent**

**Seven years later...**

The Bentley sped through the streets of New York, and Annabeth remembered sitting on a bus with a certain raven haired teenager seven years prior after having a fall out with her mother. The thought made her smile wistfully, but to the passerby, the smile would have appeared far more sorrowful than happy. Her eyes flickered to the presentation that she had on her iPad, but she groaned and leaned her head against the car window instead. She had memorized the whole speech a week prior, but she was feeling nervous so she felt the need to constantly recheck it.

It was about twenty minutes later when the car stopped in front of a sleek, modern building. The driver stepped out and opened the door for her, and she flashed him a smile that made him blush. If anything, Annabeth had only gotten more beautiful as the years went by. At the age of twenty four, she could have been mistaken for a model, and it wasn't like she hadn't received a couple offers from her time at Yale. However, she wasn't interested in that kind of thing, not since she was seventeen.

She strode purposefully past a stylish sign that bore the words: The Jackson Sanctuary. A flash of pride stirred in her heart when she passed through the automatic doors. A group of children were sitting nearby on a sofa, and their eyes widened comically when they saw her. Two boys that looked remarkably alike walked up to her with a grin.

"Connor! Travis! How are you guys?" Annabeth asked, ruffling their heads.

Travis huffed, swatting her hand away in annoyance, but he still had the largest grin. "We're good. You haven't visited," he said, crossing his arms over his chest in an effort to look stern.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I've just been all over the place for the foundation," she said apologetically.

"Ah, whatever. As long as we get to stay in your awesome building, I'm good," Connor piped in, and Annabeth chuckled warmly.

"Listen, I'll see you two later. I still have to give my speech," she said.

"Sure thing. See ya later, 'Beth," Travis said, waving goodbye to her.

Annabeth waved to them one last time before walking to a large room some distance later. There were thousands of people there: business men, charity representatives, journalists, media, and other such people. When she walked up to the podium purposefully, the conversation in the room deadened almost immediately, and a spotlight came on to shine down upon her. Preparing herself, Annabeth closed her eyes for a second to regain some composure before she began.

"Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen! I'm glad that you could all be here today, it's a very special day," she began, her confident voice carrying across the room. Journalists began typing, some people were taking videos with cameras and smartphones, as others listened, rapt with attention.

"Today marks the seventh anniversary of the Jackson Foundation," Annabeth said, and a roar of applause filled the hall. "Since its inception in 2013, the Jackson foundation has helped get over twenty thousand and counting homeless youth off the streets, into safe environments complete with accommodations, dining, and education. We've opened over twenty branches around the country, and I'm pleased to say that today marks the start of our global initiative."

The applause intensified exponentially, and Annabeth smiled slightly. She used the clicker on the podium to show a picture on the projection screen behind her. It was a picture of another sleek, although different looking building located near the river Thames.

"What you see on screen is the expected branch opening in London in 2021. Our estimates tell us that we can expect to help around seven thousand children in the first year alone, which I think is simply remarkable," she continued.

"Well, before I tell you more about the foundation's goals for the future, I want to take a moment to remember the roots of this organization, what we started from. I think the story behind the other co-founder is one that is crucial to understand the overall mission of the Jackson foundation," she said, pausing to give herself some time to reign her emotions in. The journalists were going crazy, typing madly away, eager to be the first to document the unheard story of the Jackson foundation's mysterious, absent founder.

"Perseus Jackson, the other co-founder, is no longer with us and without him, I would no longer be here, standing and speaking before you today," she started. The silence in the room was absolute as Annabeth took another second to calm down.

"Seven years ago, I was diagnosed with terminal cancer and I was on the verge of death. It was then that I met Percy, and I am not lying when I say that he changed my life," she said. "Percy taught me to give to others, to be a compassionate human being, and to fight for good with every fiber in my body."

Annabeth looked around, her sea green eyes flashing fiercely with emotion as she stood on the podium. "Percy was homeless. He had been homeless since kindergarten having run from the aftermath of his mother's suicide. Percy had nothing. He struggled for essentials that you and I take for granted everyday. Simple things like cereal or toothpaste were beyond his reach. Despite having what I had considered at the time, a meaningless existence, Percy never focused on what he didn't have. Rather, Percy brought me to a homeless shelter that he volunteered at the first time I spent time with him outside of school."

"I just didn't get it. How could a homeless boy volunteer his time at a homeless shelter, giving people things that he didn't even have? How could he work with a pure heart, without envy or jealousy, as he gave others beds and food that he never had access to himself? How could a boy that had nothing possibly give to others?" Annabeth continued.

"Percy believed that no matter how bad his lot in life, he had an obligation to give back to the world around him, a world that had beaten him to his knees and kept him there. He cared more about the welfare of others than himself," she said fiercely.

Annabeth abandoned the podium and stood directly before the audience. "Some of you might be wondering what it was about Percy that made me name this foundation after him. Well, you see the answer right before you. Percy donated his heart and his eyes to me so that I might live. The eye surgery, hitherto unheard of, radical eye dissection, had a ten percent rate of success. Percy went through with a surgery that was guaranteed to leave him blind and possibly in vain. He could have lost his eyes for no benefit. There was a ninety percent chance that's what could have happened, but he went through with it anyways because there was still a ten percent chance of giving me sight again," she said, her voice cracking. Even the journalists were looking up in shock.

"He gave his life to save mine. Even after he had taught me to live with dignity, taught me everything and asked for nothing in return, Percy chose to give me one final gift: life itself. That's the kind of man that Percy Jackson was, and that is why this foundation bears his name and will continue to bear his name for decades to come," Annabeth said passionately.

"The Jackson Foundation follows this spirit of service, of brotherhood, of compassion and vows to liberate youth that live under the oppression of poverty and misery. The foundation is purely non-profit, operating via the funds of benefactors, donors, and sponsors. Any child that enters the Jackson Foundation is never expected to pay a cent to stay and I'm proud to say that that will _never_ change." More applause.

Annabeth clicked once more, showing a picture of a blueprint bearing her signature. "Each Jackson Sanctuary is personally designed by myself and is equipped with state-of-the-art facilities. You wouldn't find better amenities at a five-star hotel, and the best part is that it is all free. Children in our Sanctuaries have access to dining options, educational opportunities, extra-curricular support, and more. Our mission is to cultivate youth that are not only sheltered from poverty, but ready to take on the world once they grow older."

She clicked once more, revealing a picture of smiling brown haired girl in her late teens. "This is Elizabeth, one of the first children admitted to a Jackson Sanctuary, the very first no less, here in this very building. She arrived as a thirteen year old, and, through the foundation's educational opportunities, is currently majoring in Political Science at Harvard University with the dream of becoming a political leader to legislate bills to combat poverty. There are countless children like Elizabeth, that through the foundation, became engaged and compassionate citizens that have a drive to better the world around them."

"The Jackson Foundation has never turned away a child in need since its inception, and it never will. Remember that it's people like you that help this foundation sustain itself, and we accept any and all donations, big or small; every little bit counts. I want to leave you all with a quote from Percy himself, one that has changed my life:

_I find myself looking around me at hollow faces, and wondering if this is it, if every heart on this Earth has been stained. But then, when I look into our hearts, I see we're all like candles with beauty inside, masked behind wax, hardened by the pain we all must face. But when one of us begins to burn with compassion, our fragrance fills the air, and we unconsciously ignite others around us. I find that the wax melts and that it is our core, our beauty, our light that remains. Slowly, we'll burn one by one till the day we reach the end of our sticks and we're all burning with compassion. So maybe we all have to be set alight..._

Thank you all for coming," Annabeth concluded with a winning smile, offering a bow before stepping off the stage.

The applause is deafening and continues for five minutes straight.

* * *

I collapsed onto my bed, turning my head to the side to look at the picture frame on my bedside table. It's the only picture of me and Percy that I own, taken by Hestia one day when we were helping at the shelter. We both look happy, smiling truly into the camera as we threw an arm around each other's shoulders. I noticed the way that my gray eyes had twinkled and how the dark bags under Percy's eyes had disappeared then. It makes my heart ache unbearably, and I smile, thinking that Percy is responding as well, after all, it is his heart.

I stand and approach the wardrobe mirror in my bathroom and stare at the sea green eyes looking back at me. It's like Percy's still here, looking right back at me. Back then, it used to make me weep every time that I looked at myself in the mirror, and I would curse Percy for doing this to me, for making the world hurt this badly. Now, I only feel endless gratitude well up inside me, and I struggle to make sense of the compassion that Percy conducted himself with everyday. I hope that I'm making him proud.

The first Jackson Sanctuary finished three months after Percy donated his heart and eyes, and I had designed the entire thing and worked closely with the construction crew to make sure everything was perfect. The building itself was shaped like a conch shell as homage to Percy and his innate oceanic spirit. In the first month alone, more than three hundred kids joined. Among them were some of Hestia's old residents, including Travis and Connor. Hestia herself became the official caretaker of the Manhattan branch, and she still continues to help out. I had offered to appoint her as a board member, but she refused, saying that this was enough.

The worst thing about Percy's passing was the regret that came afterwards. I had yelled at him the last day that I had seen him alive, made him cry even. I wonder what that tells me about myself. Percy had given me his organs after that, even after I threw things at him and yelled at him. I can't imagine how someone could ever be so giving in the real world; to give when they had been so wronged, to give when they had nothing, to give when they were giving up life itself. Percy's shown me that even when you're in a situation like his where life has gone wrong in every aspect possible, you still have the ability and obligation to act with humanity and to care for other people, even if no one else cares for you.

He's taught me so much, but in the end, I never even got to tell him how much I loved him, not even once.

But then again, that's life.

I think that I realize now that in life, we can never truly escape suffering. We're all going to suffer. No matter what we look like, what we believe in, who we love and who we hate, we're always going to have to face some hurt, but that's normal. You can't take the good without the bad. You can't run from the pain or the suffering. What you can do is choose to accept it and act in spite of your pain to better the world around you.

Percy always used to say that permanency was an illusion, and maybe he's right. Maybe everything that anyone ever works for or loves will crumble and fade; maybe that's true. But that doesn't change the fact that we've still built, that we've still loved, that we've still lived. Our deaths and our failures don't negate our lives or our successes. Even if the Jackson Foundation goes bankrupt and all the children that we've taken care of are sent back out on the streets again, that doesn't change the fact that it's helped them and countless others. There will be people like Elizabeth that can look back and make an effort to help where I've failed, so even if the foundation isn't permanent, we've created cycles of empathy that _are_ permanent.

We always think that there's going to be more time, but when we turn back, we see that we don't have much left. Time waits for no one, and that's why I intend on making the best of what I've got left. All I know is that, if there is a heaven, and I meet Percy there on the other side, I don't want to show up having squandered the life that he gave me. He never did leave a note after he died. I guess he wasn't one to get sentimental. If he did, I wonder what he'd have said. Since it's him, I don't think I'll ever know, but maybe I'm not meant to. Maybe that's how he intended it, to tell me to make what I wished of with his gift. Like I said, I'll never know for sure, but I think that's what he wanted.

I'm left saddened knowing that there won't be any awards, any recognition, any fanfare and frippery to commemorate Percy and what he's done for everyone, for me. It used to bother me a lot, that his deeds would go unnoticed by an indifferent universe dancing to its own tune. It still bothers me. Maybe that's why I felt like I had to share his story. Even though it's ultimately futile - I'm not naive enough to think it'll immortalize him - I can't help feeling that maybe it's alright, that maybe that's not what matters. Maybe what matters more than recognizing his life was being apart of it in the first place, being there to love and to hold him. In that light, I can't help but feel blessed and glad, happy to have known him at all.

Percy, if you're up there, you said you'd wait. You'd better keep your promise.

* * *

**A/N: Wow, it's finally done; this is an oddly emotional moment. The ending was a complete bitch to write - it took me two days to find an appropriate way to finish this all up, but I love how it turned out. I am super proud of the quote that I made up about candles. Thank you all for sticking with me throughout the entire story and for putting up with my shenanigans and poor updating and whatnot. I hope you've learned from it - I know I have. If you have any burning questions, please send them in a review or PM and I'll answer it in the FAQ. Otherwise, thank you all for reading, and for the final time, if you still haven't or if you always have: Follow, Favorite, and Review. **


	24. FAQ

**Foreword: So I like to talk... A LOT. If you really want to, you can read all this, but I really went overboard. I can totally understand if you just want to find the answer to your specific question. My only request is that you read the last bit about me being grateful. I will continue to answer questions about the story if you PM me after this is published. I hope this is illuminating. **

**Last Note: If you have a Challenge Prompt or something along those lines that you would like to see me write about, then feel free to submit a request. My only condition is that it'll have to be a one-shot. **

**FAQ**

**1. Why was the ending so cliche compared to the rest of the story?**

So, some of you might be a little irked or majorly pissed off with the ending because it's a "cliche" ending to a story that was so unique. I can understand that, trust me, but that's not why I made the ending the way I did. The reason why the ending was about Percy donating his organs to Annabeth is because it follows that theme that's persisted throughout the story of giving back even when you don't have much to give. Percy has given Annabeth everything he could in order for her to lead a meaningful life, and that was his last gift to her, life itself.

This isn't based off some romantic vein as much as an ethical one about how even when Percy didn't have anything, he still found the capacity to be giving and human. There's a lot of us, myself included, that complain about the stupidest things, about things we want and whatnot, and there are people like Percy out there looking to better the world. The entire story is a challenge to the reader to better themselves. Percy's character is an ideal that we should all strive towards, to give rather than take, to love rather than hate, and to teach rather than fight. The biggest thing I'm trying to show is that even when you're in a situation like Percy's where life has gone wrong in every aspect possible, you still have the ability and obligation to act with humanity and to care for other people, even if no one else cares for you.

**2. Do you think you have grown as a writer after writing this story?**

Definitely. Life wise, I've learned a lot from just making Percy a character, which is strange since Percy is basically spewing out stuff that I already know. This may seem very strange, but I'm not really in control of my writing. It kind of just happens without my full input. Like, I don't try to write something by consciously telling myself about the words I need to type on the page, rather, the words kind of just float in front of my eyes and I type them. It's that paleontologist analogy I have on my profile.

Writing wise, I would say that my writing as a whole has become a lot more smoother and it connects better emotionally. My obnoxious vocabulary is starting to surface only when it's needed instead of all the time, but it's still a work in progress. I think the characters and character development have gotten quite a bit better as well. In general, I think that my writing has just matured. If you read the first chapter of "Second Chance" and the last chapter of this story, I feel like there's a pretty marked difference, but that might just be me.

**3. Do you plan on publishing this story for real in the future?**

Haha, I would really like to, but there's a bunch of stuff that everyone needs to consider. First, in the off chance that this does get published, a bunch of people will think that this story is a knock-off of John Green's "The Fault In Our Stars" even though I would say they are very different. Second, I would have to basically rewrite the whole thing and make it more mature-like before I was even satisfied with sending it to publishers. Then it actually has to get sent to publishing and there's no guarantee it will get published (it probably won't). Sigh. There's a lot of obstacles, but I really want to. It's just that, even though it doesn't seem like it, I am _horribly_ self-conscious of my writing. I think it's childish, and I'm not saying that to get pity-praise.

**4. If you had to change one thing in this story, what would it be? **

Hmm, that's a toughie. I guess I would have set up better for Chapter 21 (Shatter) so that it would be more of a slow build rather than a sudden shock since I think that's kind of cheating. It's a generally agreed upon rule within the literary world that in the event of making big reveals like that, you have to build it up instead of springing it upon the reader. That would probably be the biggest thing, but to be honest, I didn't really even think that was going to happen until Chapter 16. I'm kind of a "make stuff up as I go" kind of guy, which isn't really a good thing, but things just end up working out alright. I would also not have introduced Nico and Grover since they didn't do much for the story.

**5. How do you feel now that you are done writing this amazing story?**

Haha, "amazing"? I'm glad y'all think so. Anyhow, I'm really proud that I managed to finish it in the first place. I'm not really sure what else I should feel, haha.

**6. What inspired you to write this story?**

There were a ton of different sources, surprisingly. I read a story about Percy having severe problems with ADD, Autism, and Dyslexia, and then I kind of wanted Annabeth to be the popular girl, but I didn't want her to be nice since that's kind of overdone. So the only way I could think of connecting them was via cancer (though there could have been other ways). Since I'm kind of a disease buff, I really wanted to go that route. Then a reviewer recommended reading "The Fault In Our Stars," a suggestion that I didn't take seriously until I was bored out of my mind, standing in a Barnes and Noble with a bunch of copies right next to me. I read the first two chapters, and I was hooked. Up until then, I didn't really know that it was "legal" to combine philosophy with literature, and since I'm a _huge_ philosophy lover, Percy completely became a nihilist (after my own heart). Then, as the saying goes, the rest is history.

**7. What ever happened to Grover and Nico? **

Funny you should mention that, haha. To be perfectly honest, I forgot to mention them so I think I wrote that one of them moved and the other didn't see Percy much anymore. That was kind of a blunder on my end, but it goes to show you that I still have a lot to work on. I kind of regret introducing them in the first place.

**8. What happened with Annabeth's dad? What about her mom?**

Okay, this was a huge struggle for me because originally I had it written that he, and I quote: "suffered a nervous breakdown because he saw Percy's eyes staring back at him through his daughter's body," and that he then turned himself into the police without explaining to his family why he had done so. In both cases - what actually happened and this scenario - Annabeth was never going to know about her dad because that's not what Percy wanted. Percy knew that if he told her, it would just completely devastate her and probably cause her to lose what little strength she had left.

I ultimately decided just not to mention it because it was far more realistic. There wouldn't have been much of a reason for Frederick to break if he hadn't done so all these years. It's going against my policy of pursuing justice at all costs, but I felt like it would have been really childish to open that can of worms just to sate my weird cravings. If you don't like it, that's fine - just blame it on my poor judgment.

Annabeth's mom is actually CFO of the Jackson Foundation, and she collaborates with Annabeth to make sure that buildings are fine and whatnot.

**9. Why didn't Annabeth build Percy a memorial for all that he did?**

To be honest, the idea never crossed my mind, and it's a very good one that I might include if I choose to revise this entire story.

**10. What about Annabeth's school friends and Luke? Do they ever find out about her disease?**

In all rights, I could have written about this, but doing so would have stolen all the momentum from Percy and Annabeth and since that's what the last chapters were about, I didn't bother. I'm going to use John Green's infuriating excuse and say that books belong to the readers (I HATE when he says that). Do you think judging by how I wrote the characters that Annabeth would have told everyone? Would Luke truly have learned his lesson after the confrontation with Percy? You decide.

**11. Why did Percy hate Annabeth in the first place?**

Ah, yes. This is probably my biggest regret of the entire series. I never answered this question because once I got the idea about Annabeth's dad, my original idea seemed really, really crappy. I'm going to cop out again and pull a John Green: books belong to their readers. Make of it what you will. If you have a burning desire to absolutely know what I had in mind, like you literally cannot sleep at night because you're like: "It's 4:47 in the morning and I shan't rest till Relic tells me about his really crappy idea that he wishes he never wrote/thought about," then I'll tell you if you PM me.

**12. I've always wondered this after reading your "Stunning Realization" post. Since you see yourself more as a paleontologist when writing and it's more like you're looking in on someone's story as it unfolds, do you think it would be more of a challenge for you to write if you were narrating in the first person? **

Ah, you've stumbled across the reason why I've completely stopped writing in first person and why updating "Second Chance" has become a herculean task. It's become a lot harder, the more I've written, for me to write in first person because I feel more like an observer than a participant in my stories. There are a lot of talented authors out there that can weave masterful stories in first person, but I'm not one of those people. Preference wise, I love reading first person more, but writing it makes me feel uncomfortable.

**13. Do you have a favorite moment in Wolf's Law that stands out above everything else or maybe even a particular day where you felt the process was going exactly the way you wanted it to without any speed bumps? **

Hmm, I really loved "Vengeance", "Antigone", and "Quietus" a lot because that's really the best of my writing. Those chapters are everything that I love to read in a story, and it just went better than I imagined it would. With regards to the second part, I have two stages I go through when I write: one is rapid fire inspiration where I just won't stop getting bombarded with awesome ideas and I just want to crank out like six chapters a day because I'm on a roll, and then there are these huge doldrum stages in between where I can't think of an idea to save my life. The last three chapters are apart of that rapid-fire stage.

**14. Are there any authors/writers/people that you admire and look up to that have inspired and influenced your preferred style of writing or is it all completely from you, your way of thinking and getting it down on paper? **

Well, as the saying goes, artists steal, so yes, I suppose that there is a bit of that, but more so in my earlier years. I used to really admire Christopher Paolini (still one of my all time favorite authors) when I was younger, and I didn't really try to write like him so much as I enjoyed reading him. I'll be honest and say that I've never consciously wanted to write like someone. There might be some unconscious influences if you look really deep, but I couldn't identify them for you. My writing became my own after I entered high school, and I would like to think that it's unique, that you could read it and go: "Oh, that definitely sounds like Relic." If you really wanted to though, there are probably a lot of small things that I have in common with Paolini's writing, but they aren't so glaring that you could trace them. We're different people, so we write differently.

If it's just authors I admire, I would say that I love: John Green (my hero), Mitch Albom (my hero X2), David Levithan, Christopher Paolini. (Those are the guys I can think of off the top of my head)

**15. Was there ever a time when you were writing (anything really) that you felt was a complete pain in the ass and made you want to tear your hair out because it was difficult or did the challenge make it all the more satisfying? **

All the time - "Second Chance" is that story now, but there are a ton. "into the dark" took me a LONG time to finish, as did a couple other stories. Generally, I don't like to force my writing. I like to have it come naturally when I have creative inspiration, so in the event that I do need to publish something, I just wait until I can go about it easily, which is why it can take a while to update. It's kind of rewarding to really just grind and crank a story out, but it feels like a hollow victory, and I find that I often don't like my work when I do that.

**16. Who is your favorite author and what is it that really strikes you about their work?**

Tie between John Green and Mitch Albom. John Green spurred my literary renaissance and really opened my eyes about the power of literature. He writes wittily and very captivatingly, and makes you see things differently. Mitch Albom is an author that I can't really describe with words. I don't say that to make him seem like a god-like author. He's an excellent author and everything, but I just cannot find words to describe the way he writes - it's very different. You have to read his stuff to know what I mean.

**17. You've stated many times that something you hoped to achieve while writing Wolf's Law was that you wanted people to learn from it, is there something you maybe wished your readers had grasped more than anything else? **

I'll start by talking about what I hope you _don't_ take away from the story: don't think that the world/universe just sucks and that nothing matters. That's not what I'm trying to say. The story is all about acknowledging that bad things happen, often to good people, but that can't warp you. You have to be a good person in light of these atrocities. You can't take the good without the bad. I think that life is very cyclical - there are times when things go wrong and times when things go right. You can't fight that - you just have to accept it. If you can accept the bad with grace and maintain your humanity, then that's the best thing I can hope for.

**18. What is the best feeling you have ever felt at the end of a story, the beginning and during? Something you knew you'd never forget and something that you wanted to hold onto to encourage you to keep writing.**

I don't really know how to answer this question, but there's really been nothing that has encouraged me to write, so to say. I think a book that has really gotten me hooked to where I couldn't put it down was "Paper Towns" and while the ending kind of made me angsty and very upset, I still loved it. Sometimes, when I read things, I feel a physical ache inside me that makes it literarily painful if I stop reading. I wouldn't say that's the "best feeling" I have ever felt, but that only happens to me when I read a really exceptional story.

When I read, I don't feel things like, "Gosh, I hope that I never forget this" or "Man, I am a changed person now" because I'm me and I'm kind of weird. My appreciation of literature is almost solely aesthetic, which is why I wanted to make "Wolf's Law" so special. To me, literature never goes that extra mile because it tries to be so subtle about things and I hate that. Sometimes, most of the times, humans just need to be flat out told something which is why the philosophical stuff in "Wolf's Law" isn't veiled or hidden like a needle in a haystack, and rather hits you in the face like a shovel. I hope this answered the question even though it probably didn't.

**19. At the end when Annabeth talks about permanency, and how even if everything crumbles and fades it doesn't change the fact that it was once there. Do you believe that permanency is an illusion?**

Haha, this is a great question. You know for the longest time, I was a complete nihilist, in every sense of the word. A lot of people don't know this, but it's very _very_ hard for me to be happy about things. Like things that generally make people happy, don't make me feel anything: vacations, parties, cruises, family, school, amusement parks, the outdoors, etc. Nihilism helped me get through a lot of really turbulent things in my past, and I will always be eternally grateful for that. However, now my understanding of things are different, and the statement Annabeth makes in the last chapter: "Our deaths and our failures don't negate our lives or our successes," is an epiphany that I have only achieved recently. So, my views have changed: I've become much more of an optimist, and I'm leaning more towards existentialism nowadays. In summary, I think that permanency is an illusion, but maybe that doesn't really matter.

**20. Did you have original plans for how the plot was going to unfold and how it was going to end or did it just come to you as you went along writing? If you did have original plans for this story, were they similar to how you ended this or were they different?**

Both really. Much of the story was made up as I went along, but as with all my stories, I have a meta-level plot that I adhere to. At the original end that I had in mind, Annabeth was going to pull a "Perks of Being a Wallflower" on Percy by doing the lunch room scene. Percy was going to get socked by Luke, get angry and ask Annabeth to do something, she'd get cold feet and pretend she didn't know him, and Percy would get pissed off (I had this really awesome line where Percy goes: "I hope you enjoy your stay in hell, Annabeth"). Then Annabeth was going to get sick, and even though Percy was pissed off, he was still going to donate his organs anyways because it still follows the theme of giving even when you've been wronged. The actual ending is a lot better in my opinion because Percy still gives her his organs even though her father had pretty much screwed his entire life up. Otherwise, the rest was just made up as I went along.

**21. What were Percy's last words?**

Books belong to their readers. But, if you reread Quietus again, you'll find his last words, albeit broken up. If you look hard enough, you'll find 'em easily enough. PM me if you truly must know and can't find it.

**22. Why didn't you tie up all the loose ends? Why all the ambiguity?**

So this was kind of answered in the stuff about Annabeth's dad, but I chose not to because that's realistic. In real life, not every issue gets resolved, justice is not always administered, happy endings don't really happen. You don't know about what was going on in Percy's head in Annabeth's last moments, what her father felt when Percy decided to donate his organs to save the life of his daughter, what ultimately happened to Frederick because I didn't want you to. Feel free to make up an ending to sate your preferences, but I wanted to be realistic with this to the bitter end. It sucks, but that's life.

**23. What are you working on next? (if you are working on something) could you give us a sneak peek?**

Fanfiction wise, I think that I'm going to focus on all the things that I've started, but haven't finished yet. In the future, there might be one more story (not one-shot, there'll be plenty more of those), but that's not for a while. I'd really like to start "Treading Water" up again since I need my healthy dose of angst, but we'll see. But primarily, my focus will be devoted to my new fictionpress story, but I swear, I'll do my best to finish up the stuff I've started already. Since I can, I'm going to post a little excerpt of the fictionpress story to get y'all interested.

Summary: Rishi has a problem: he's dating the most beautiful girl in school. He has no idea how or why it happened, but it's become more of a curse than a blessing. For the sake of saving his relationship, Rishi bottles his emotions and acts normal while wrestling with morbid depression and his own perceived undesirability, but he still can't stop everything from crumbling around him.

Context: Stephanie is Rishi's girlfriend, and Quinn is Stephanie's best friend, and she happened to invite him to have ice cream with her at Dairy Queen because Stephanie was flirting with the football captain, Evan, after a track meet that he had attended to support her.

_"Rishi?"_

_Rishi stopped deflecting Quinn's playful swats to look in the direction of the voice and paled. Stephanie had just walked into the Dairy Queen by herself, and she wore an expression of shock on her face._

_"What're you doing here alone with Quinn?" she said with a frown._

_"I texted you about this. I said that I was going to Dairy Queen with her because she invited me," he said carefully._

_"I can vouch for his honor!" Quinn said dramatically._

_"Now's not the time, Q!" Rishi hissed, and when Quinn saw the expression in his eyes she stopped. Stephanie shot her friend a glare at her outburst, but she shifted and gave Rishi a look that could have withered steel._

_"Well, it looks like you two are getting along just **fine**. I guess I'll just leave," she said with a strained smile before turning on her heels and storming out the Dairy Queen._

_"Steph, wait!" Rishi called out, chasing after her._

_He found her before she got in her car. "Steph, wait!" he said._

_She glared at him. "I waited twenty minutes for you wondering where in the world you were, and it turns out that you were here, cozying up with my best friend, eating ice cream all this time? I don't think you're in any position to ask me to do anything," she fumed._

_"I texted you-" Rishi began, but she cut him off._

_"You think that makes that alright? You ditched me after the track meet!" she hissed._

_Rishi felt anger boil inside his chest. He wanted to interrogate her about how she ignored him to talk to Evan instead, but he couldn't. Instead he gave her a weak smile. "I'm incredibly sorry, Steph. Let me make it up to you: I'll take you out to dinner," he said placatingly, but she shook her head._

_"I don't want to go anywhere with you, Rishi. Have fun with Quinn," she spat, getting into her car and driving away._

**24. Advice to any aspiring writers? **

You probably shouldn't be asking a guy like me this, but I'll do my best. I've said this already, but read a lot. It really, really helps. Then write a lot. It also really helps. Don't get frustrated if things don't go the way you want them to, especially if you're younger. You have your whole life ahead of you to develop your style, to formulate your own views, and to learn from your experiences. Make yourself come out on paper. This doesn't mean put yourself in the story, but make your persona, your hopes, your fears, your doubts, your views, and everything come out on paper. Never be afraid to make a statement, but don't try to bring others down at the same time. I made some pretty brash statements in this story about things by saying "God is dead", "There's no heaven or hell; only the void", "To live means to suffer" because that's me, but I respect those that believe differently. Never get complacent - you can always improve. Don't cop out - there's always going to be the easy way and the right way, but go the extra mile, even if you have to suffer. Be proud of what you've written. If you aren't, don't publish it. That's a lot, but I hope it helped.

**Some words of my own: **

**This part is kind of me being exasperated - **A lot of people seem to forget that I am not a writer. I am a seventeen year old high school student that really just loves to write obnoxious sentences and then string them together.

Pause. I'm going to say that again because many of you _still_ don't get it: _I am seventeen._ I am _not_ a writer. _I am pretty stupid._ Please pity me and my infinite shortcomings.

Don't expect too much from me because you _will_ get disappointed. I get the feeling that some of you criticize me just for the sake of criticizing me. Someone (I won't name names) left a huge block of text basically telling me politely that the ending was illogical because doctors can't ethically perform live organ donations and a whole load of other pertinent information. To that I say: Good sir, I am seventeen. I am pretty stupid. I don't know that stuff, and I don't really care much either. It's a fictional story. That's all I have to say about that.

**This part is kind of me being philosophical - **Some of you might get the mistaken impression that I think that life sucks and that nothing happy can ever happen to anyone and that all your dreams are unrealistic and doomed to fail. You're probably right (I kid, I kid). No, but seriously, there are a lot of awesome things about life; music, conversation, art, food, nature, people, memories, relationships, etc. Even the little things like helping your little sister finally understand a math problem can be pretty damn fulfilling. Ultimately, Life is what you make of it. As someone that's suffered from legitimate clinical depression, I can tell you that with firsthand experience. You have the power to choose whether or not you want to be happy in life. You can either gripe about being in a car for fourteen hours or you can sit back, acknowledge that you'll get there when you get there, and watch the rolling green countryside pass by the window. I think that's a metaphor for life as a whole: you can choose to complain your entire way through, or you can sit back, go with the flow, and just enjoy what comes your way.

**This part is kind of me being grateful (and honest) -** This is a general message to Fanfic at large in addition to those of you that have read this story specifically. I've always been self-conscious about myself about everything: I'm self-conscious of the way I look, what I eat, what I say, what I like, what music I listen to, and importantly to you all, what I write. When I first started on this site as a whole, you all could have just gone to town on me: "You forgot a period there, dipshit." "Wow, you actually spelled 'their' wrong eight times in your story? Good luck being an author, dumbass." "Your poor quotation mark punctuation makes my eyes bleed in their sockets." You all held tremendous power - the ability to completely destroy what little self-esteem that I did have left, but you didn't. Instead, you all have taught me so many things, whether it be about writing, grammar, or life at large. You've been there to comfort me when things go horribly wrong in my life. You've been there to say kind things about my creative pursuits when I needed a word of good to be said about myself.

It may sound like I am some sort of egomaniac that gets off on your praise, but I'll be the first to tell you that I'm kind of a broken person and that sometimes, I really do lose sight of all the good in myself. Every review that I have ever read has helped me in some way, shape, or form to remember that I am actually not a shitty person and that I do have value, that my stories mean something and help people overcome hardships, and that there are good people out there and that everybody goes through their own forms of hardships anyways. So when I say "Thank you," I hope you know beyond a doubt that I really do mean it, and that when when you review and tell me about something that I wrote, I treasure it because it truly means the world to me.

Thank you all, for everything.


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